35.2.3.5>44 - Is this good or bad...

[LittleMissSunshine]

There is a fellow student in my class who has a huge crush on me. We had what I felt was a minor falling out; I got over it, but we're now in the awkward phase of giving each other the third degree. For the record, I entertained the idea of a relationship with him at one point, but I am not really interested. I tried to text him about our fall out, saying that I was putting it behind me, but he didn't answer me. Since we have a few more classes together before finals - plus we are involved in the same activities at school - I am trying to have a pleasant working relationship, without hard feelings and their accompanying awkwardness (which I despise).

I asked the Yi for a reflection on the situation and some advice for how I could make things more comfortable for me. And I got 35, with lines 2, 3 and 5 changing, to 44.

I can't see how 35 relates to our current situation. I'm having no success with him that I can tell. Nothing is "good" about our situation.

I really cannot make sense of this reading and would appreciate any help.

 

[willowjati]

Ah, but it sounds like you are having success with yourself. You asked how you could make the situation more comfortable for yourself, and, even aside from thinking about anything IC, it sound like you are doing all the right things. You had a falling out, you got over it. You considered the idea of a relationship and came to a thoughtful decision - that you are not really interested. You made the first move toward pleasant relations going forward by apologizing. Now it is really up to him if he meets you where you are or not. If he has as major a crush as you say, it may be hard for him to get to, 'let's just work together pleasantly,' but again, that is all up to him - you've done your part.

Now to the IC symbolism. Think of 35 as more about self-development which yields progress. The gift, the reward, the "success' that you see, is sort of secondary - it's the attitude of paying attention to the small chances (as you are doing) that is important. You have laid the groundwork for success, which is all you can do. Except (as 35 implies I think) also keep at it. Keep your self aware and good attitude.

44 is about 'don't grasp!' Guy with major crush, hmm... that could be relevant. But also, you, don't grasp. The situation may not end up perfect, the rest of the year may still be awkward. But I think if you look at the reading as reflecting that you've made a good and honest start, and are encouraged to continue with the attitude you have, maybe it will open up for you and seem more relevant. Good luck!

 

[LittleMissSunshine]

Thank you for your reply.

44 has also been called "temptation." Truthfully I am tempted to rip into him via text and tell him what I really think. I despise people who hold grudges over the smallest of slights (especially when they weren't the ones wronged; they get mad because you call them on their selfish behavior). I am quite angry, to be sure. I try to maintain good relations with everyone in my class, so study groups and such will proceed smoothly. I also enjoy being well-liked and I don't want some stupid kid with a crush ruining that for me.

 

[willowjati]

-grin!-
I was tempted to follow the jerk who pushed ahead of me in the freeway merge yesterday and run him off the road down the way...

 

[LittleMissSunshine]

Ah, but in both cases, that would just make things worse! Point taken. I will try to be my usual bright and sunny self. You said that 35 might be implying that I continue my goodwill efforts. Does this mean, perhaps, including him in discussions and such?

 

[willowjati]

I would say so. Remember, in the world you care about, there are many people, not just him. (In the world he cares about, perhaps at the moment there is just him and you.) You don't have to be sucked into perpetuating someone else's drama. 35 is about the kind of progress you make, the prospering that comes, from being someone who keeps moving, changing, giving and receiving, in ways that ultimately are recognized as wise and good by others (or 'the universe'). The world that matters here is your whole class, the whole discussion group, etc etc.

In 34, the preceding Hexagram, it's called Possession in Great Measure, Invigorating, or, by some, Raise the Big Bulls. This isn't that, you're not producing one big important success, or getting one big important result, you're emerging gradually into a general prospering. Karcher, in the tortured exactness of his translation, renders the line about how 35 relates to 34 as, "Beings not permitted to use completing Invigorating/Accepting this lets you use Prospering/ Prospering implies advancing indeed."

So I would say, don't be your bright and sunny self falsely, but do continue to be so genuinely, and letting yourself continue to emerge and grow and change. And remember that the prospering, the 'things going well' won't be limited to the exact specifics of one relationship dynamic, but will come in how the whole of your world responds to your advancing through this.

I'm looking more at my Karcher text, and see that just quoting what he says makes the point really well, so here:

Emerge into the light; advance, be noticed; give and receive gifts; dawn of a new day.
Prospering describes your situation in terms of emerging slowly and surely into the full light of day. Its symbols are the rising sun and the recognition of the able person. The way to deal with it is to give freely in order to help things emerge and flourish. Be calm in your strength and poise. Take delight in things. Give gifts of strength and spirit to enhance those connected with you. You will be received by the higher powers three times in a single day.