35.3 to 56 possible rekindling of a relationship

[lslater]

Hello,

I am new to this forum, but have been studying I Ching for about a year now. Recently, I cast Hexagram 35 with changing line 3 to Hexagram 56. My question was "Will --- and I get back together?" He and I were not together for long (3-4 months) and it was complicated. I had been recently divorced and he had divorced 4 years prior. Knowing what he went through- he sort of projected his experience onto me and told me I just wasn't ready for a relationship yet. Though he projected his stuff onto me- he was right. We have hardly spoken since October after I had a sort of mini breakdown in front of him and took off to Thailand for a month. We live in a very small town, which I wasn't actually living in when we were dating- I commuted 6 hrs one way to be with my kids on the weekends until I could afford to move back).

Anyhow, the thing is- we never talk and never see each other. He doesn't want to get re-involved because he is scared that I will have problems again. I have talked to him once since October- went to his house to apologize for some things and this is when he told me the above statement. However, I can't shake the feeling that there is a higher purpose here. This guy makes me want to be a better person. I was going through some very hard lessons- much more so than his with his ex-wife (they don't have kids). I have two kids (who I was away form for 9 months after my divorce) and had a good husband (who I left out of boredom--- and felt extreme guilt about).

I am doing a LOT better now. I don't know how to let him know this. We are very attracted to each other, but there are those past complications- I was very emotional due to wanting to come back home to my kids and being financially unfit to do so.

So yesterday it snowed and was very cold. I made a big pot of soup and brought it to various people due to the cold. I decided to bring him some-- along with some spices I bought him while on my trip overseas. I didn't ask to come in-- I just quickly handed him the soup and spices and told him to enjoy. Little else was said because I was cold and nervous, therefore in too much of a hurry to give him a chance to ask me in- which I felt and still feel was the right thing.

So when I got home I cast the I Ching and got this... I am not sure what to do with it. The only connection we have is a mutual friend... otherwise I would have to make any advance that could possibly bring this back together. I don't know how to do this without appearing... I don't even know. I just don't want to push. I did that once and I can't do it again. I REALLY care about this guy though... help!!!

 

[lslater]

Oh yes... he was very nice when I brought him the soup...

 

[lslater]

Judging from the fact that this post has been read several times with no reply, I think it is safe to assume that the situation is confounded. Thanks anyway to those who reaD...

 

[gato]

All are in accord. Remorse disappears.... yes it is possible, remorse disapperars

 

[chingching]

no, it was late at night for me and I didn't have time to reply yet.

But this one isn't jumping out at me I must say. 35.3 > 56

This dispels any cause for regret over the fact that he does not have enough independence to triumph unaided over every hostile turn of fate.

I think these hex's literally say you visited this guy , gave him a gift, and it was good for both of you.
a gift from the wanderer

I've been sitting here for a while now and that's the best I've got. Sorry, IMO the ball is in his court for the next move, your mutual friend could always be a way of staying in touch with him (the support from others of line 3?). 56 advises of correct behaviour, so I think the best you can do is stick to that.

To really change in relationships you need some kind of contact so when those old cues from the other person that used to get a reaction from you arise, you can be conscious of them, choose to react differently and its at that moment you have changed... sorry that was badly written.

35.3 > 56 has a positive vibe so the situation isn't confounded

 

[lslater]

Thank you for the replies. Yes... the ball is in his court and I think its a dead one. I just don't see him making contact. I would have to actually extend an invitation for dinner or something... I was very hurried when I brought him the food. It was cold and I was nervous. I don't know if I could bring myself to try again at this point. Thanks for your help!

 

[deepstillwater]

Hello,

I thought perhaps Hexigram 35 represented your actions in delivering the soup.

35 is about how a powerful feudal lord rallies the other lords around the sovereign and pledges fealty and peace. The sovereign rewards him richly (and as you said he was very nice when receiving the soup) and invites the lord to a closer intimacy.

What could be a nicer gift than soup and spices during snow? I'm sure X would have been very touched by that. Perhaps now he will feel able to aproach you.

I think your action brightened and brought light into the relationship between the two of you emotionally - before it was clouded by uncertainly and pain that you both were recovering from.

Six in the third place means:
All are in accord. Remorse disappears.

A man strives onward, in association with others whose backing encourages him. This dispels any cause for regret over the fact that he does not have enough independence to triumph unaided over every hostile turn of fate.

To me, I think this shows that you will go on and find support from him and the friendship of others that will help you with the difficulties you may face in settling into the town etc. Your feelings of helplessness will be dispelled by their company.

This line certainly means moving forward and joining with others.

While I think line 3 supports a view that you will have contact with him, unfortunately, hexigram 56 does not support the idea of a future together.

The mountain, ken, stands still; above it fire, Li, flames up and does not tarry. Therefore the two trigrams do not stay together and separation is the case. Perhaps one of you will have to move?

I believe Hexigram 56 is still auspicious though, and it promises success for those who perserve and are upright and steadfast. Perhaps, love is not possible with this man but love is possible.

I hope I have helped

 

[anon]

How did it turn out with this situation in the end? If you don't mind me asking. I've casted the same hex for a similar situation and was wondering how it could turn out. Thanks.