36.1 - an end of a relationship

[maudie]

Hello.

I'd just like some insight, if anyone would care to comment.

I was dating a Scorpio man a bit younger than me. Me being a Taurus.
In the beginning, the chemistry was intense and we got along famously for awhile. Then he started to get distant bit by bit. His distancing filled me with panic. What I think I did was - I just continued to show my affection and desire to be with him in the same way. But, in retrospect, the more he distanced himself, the more I tried to "squeeze my grip", until he got out of reach. We never had a fair fight, though. He did tell me he felt choked, and I was more than willing to step back, I just needed him to let me know he'd still be there, you know, so I told him stuff like, "If you need time, space - just let me know, don't just disappear and leave me hanging." He kept leaving me hanging and hurting me along the way. But I kept seeing the man he used to be to me and wouldn't simply let go, I felt I deserved to be communicated with.

To make the long story a bit shorter, we broke up the other day. He was the initiator of the break-up, although I was quite ready for it. He cried with me. He said I was one of the best people he knew and that he wanted to kill himself for not feeling the passion he thought he should feel. Which I didn't quite understand, because I felt the passion both in him and me, and I felt it diminishing without knowing what was going on. He claims the passion was never strong enough and that he tried very hard all the time to convince himself that it was.

Anyway. While I'm aware that I should have let him go a long time before, I wanted to know where my biggest fault was - what was the wrongest wrong I wronged him with. Since I can't really keep calling him and asking him "Tell me, where did I go wrong?!" - I decided to ask the forces of the Universe.

I asked: What was the key mistake I made in my relationship with him?

Answer: 36, darkening of the light...
With 1st line changing...
Darkening of the light during flight.
H lowers his wings.
The superior man does not eat for three days
On his wanderings.
But he has somewhere to go.
The host has occasion to gossip about him.

Now, I realise Yi usually speaks about me, and this was a direct question about my mistake, but it sounds eerily like his behavior - or situation. Before we broke up, he went with his friends to the seaside and I didn't see him for ten days. He didn't even call me when he came back. I stopped calling him as he wouldn't return my calls but I wanted closure, so I called him to meet me anyway - and that's when we broke up. He says there isn't anyone else, and I believe him. He says he doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now. I think he is seeking perfection, and that his friends are probably unclear about why he broke up with me.

Is it telling me what I should do, or is it telling me about his mental state?

And it's changing to 15, which suggests communication... I'm a bit perplexed. Not sure how to interpret this, but I can see there's a clear message in there somewhere.

Please help, any insight wil be much appreciated.

 

[oponopono]

dear maudie,

i do not feel i can add much to the response the book gave you, i do not directly see how it fits. But one thing grabs my attention in your question: how do you presume you did anything wrong? If you gave the best of yourself and your available to go deeper, it wasnt the right moment for him, how does that sound.

36/15 sounds more like advise for your present moment than a direct answer to your question. But maybe that is what you need, in the case you accept you actually made no mistake... then it is a moment to stay with your feeling to yourself and keep advancing, carrying things through to completion is a though from 15, but also keeping it real.

I do have a strong feeling this wasnt about a mistake you made, but that's just me.

Wish you all the best,
yoana

 

[maudie]

Thanks, yoana. I myself kept thinking - if it's a message for me, it probably means I should keep going and not look back.
It's not like I'm beating myself up about it... I'm of an opinion that everyone makes mistakes, I just wanted to know what my key mistake was. I wanted to learn how I contributed to the decay. Also, mistakes are relative... Mistake toward me - or toward him? Maybe yi is telling me I should have gone forward - not looking back - sooner? Maybe I'm getting an answer and advice, all rolled into one?
Anyway, there's not much philosophy here, it's all over and there's nowhere but forward to go

(Thanks for the wish! May your words turn to gold )

 

[Mira72]

36.1 to 15 in this context:

The bf showing his distancing, which the op felt, but seems to have refrained from acknowledging it (the panic)...scorpios are highly emotionally attuned (not to mention thrive on drama). The lack of "appropriate" response, or an emotionally honest one (which is not the same as the high minded, patient one you seem to have adapted, (i get it, i am taurus, too), might have caused the flying with dropping wings (or the flagging of passion, which after all often enough asks for 'tension')...when he pulled away, you went along, hence the reduction in tension...

Does this make sense? It is a kind of relating, a little more of a play of power(scorpio), rather than the more accommodating and encompassing venusian love of taurus. Which might have still provided the tension, had there been more emotionally honest response, rather than an idealistic response...which tends to be a more saintly or matronly thing...both of which, hardly conducive to the frisson of passion.

Hope it helps in understanding.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

this is such an old thread but I'm laughing as I (a taurus) got this cast over the younger scorpio I am ...with? not with? and your situation is remarkably similar.
we really need to talk, apparently, but I laughed out loud reading the first few sentences here. what is it about the scorpio taurus dynamic!

 

[redoleander]

Perhaps its saying you didn’t make a mistake, it was just the circumstance? If you’re feeling resonance with the line and his behavior (which I do see as well) perhaps it’s telling you simply that there was a hidden agenda and him going off in his own… sometimes it’s not about a mistake you made, more just that you’ll tend to question your own behavior. Maybe it’s about taking a different point of view?

 

[IrfanK]

Perhaps its saying you didn’t make a mistake, it was just the circumstance? If you’re feeling resonance with the line and his behavior (which I do see as well) perhaps it’s telling you simply that there was a hidden agenda and him going off in his own… sometimes it’s not about a mistake you made, more just that you’ll tend to question your own behavior. Maybe it’s about taking a different point of view?

Yaaaaaaaaa. I was just going to say something similar. Perhaps it really isn't about you, there just isn't space for a relationship. He may be facing difficult challenges that require focus and concentration, and he can't do it with someone else with him. It's hard not to take that kind of thing personally.

 

[Olga Super Star]

The question was asked in 2013.

 

[IrfanK]

The question was asked in 2013.

Ah well. I hope it had a happy ending.