36.4.5 > 49 relationship question

[llt2113]

There is this person whom I have developed a close relationship with during the fall. However, she recently traveled back to her native country for the winter break. It's been about month now and while we do communicate by email, she isn't as responsive. I asked to question concerning what I should do about this relationship and received 36.4.5>49

49 seems to imply continung forward, perhaps strong action/change? However, 36 from what I have heard is about concealing your intentions until a better time.

 

[icastes]

Too many obstacles (36) mean an end to the past (49). This love affair is doomed to fail.

 

[oponopono]

when I first saw this reading my feeling was that it was not auspicious, but icastes, I ask you, can you be so clear cut as to say its doomed ?

Because if im not mistaken 36 stands for a light that is hidden - yet exists. Something that cannot be manifested at the present moment, therefore not auspicious for their love affair, and also 49 suggests there might be a clear change of hearts. I would read this as an advise to lay low with his feelings for the time being, what intrigues me is line 5, which seems to hold some advise to persist - or not ?

thank u both,
yoana

 

[pooks]

Hi, these are just my thoughts.

36. Ming I / Darkening of the light

One must not unresistingly let himself be swept along by unfavorable
circumstances, nor permit his steadfastness to be shaken. He can avoid this by
maintaining his inner light, while remaining outwardly yielding and
tractable. With this attitude he can overcome even the greatest adversities.

In some situations indeed a man must hide his light, in order to make his
will prevail inspite of difficulties in his immediate environment.
Perseverance must dwell in inmost consciousness and should not be
discernible from without. Only thus is a man able to maintain his will in the
face of difficulties.

[...]

In a time of darkness it is essential to be cautious and reserved. One should
not needlessly awaken overwhelming enmity by inconsiderate behavior. In
such times one ought not to fall in with the practices of others; neither
should one drag them censoriously into the light. In social intercourse one
should not try to be all-knowing. One should let many things pass, without
being duped.

So you're in a situation you're not really sure of what you should do. But I think, there isn't much you can do, other than just being yourself. Which I think means, that you shouldn't anticipate in the way she might think. Maybe the fact she's home and doesn't see you as often, kind of took away the 'feeling', but it could come back when she sees you again. Try not to do anything manipulative or different, to change her ways, or to make her like you. Just be you, don't anticipate, and who knows how it'll go.

Lines:

We find ourselves close to the commander of darkness and so discover his
mot secret thoughts. In this way we realize that there is no longer any hope of
improvement, and thus we are enabled to leave the scene of disaster before
the storm breaks.

Hmm this has a negative flavor to it. However if you try to remain, in a certain way, 'unattached' to the situation and to remain to see the situation as objective as it is, I think you will recognize the signs that say it's better to leave the relationship.

This provides a teaching for those who cannot leave their posts in times of
darkness. In order to escape danger, they need invincible perseverance of
spirit and redoubled caution in their dealings with the world.

This could mean to be careful as well. Be careful to whom you choose to give to.

49. Ko / Revolution (Molting)

So this reminds me of a period of change.

The influences are in actual conflict, and the forces combat each other
like fire and water (lake), each trying to destroy the other. Hence the idea of
revolution.

Well, conflict doesn't sound so well. So troubles might come.

Political revolutions are extremely grave matters. They should be undertaken
only under stress of direst necessity, when there is no other way out. Not
everyone is called to this task, but only the man who has the confidence of
the people, and even he only when the time is ripe. He must then proceed in
the right way, so that he gladdens the people and, by enlightening them,
prevents excesses. Furthermore, he must be quite free of selfish aims and
must really relieve the need of the people. Only then does he have nothing to
regret.

Times change, and with them their demands. Thus the seasons change in
the course of the year. In the world cycle also there are spring and autumn in
the life of peoples and nations, and these call for social transformations.

Times change, and with them their demands. Maybe that could point to her changing her mind in a way, perhaps that maybe she doesn't feel the same as before?

All in all, I think you should just be yourself through this and be careful too. Maybe at some point, when things get really unclear of where you two are at, you could ask I Ching about whether asking for clarity will be beneficial.

 

[llt2113]

thank you all for your advice. It is good to hear different perspectives.

 

[chingching]

external influence to bring the change

Maybe she will visit you on your birthday:

REVOLUTION. On your own day
You are believed.
Supreme success,
Furthering through perseverance.
Remorse disappears.

definitely I see something happening to bring you answers, not something that you do yourself.

I agree 36 is telling you not to wear your heart on your sleeve, but something is there. Generally when you feel something for another person it doesn't originate from delusion but from sincere connection, problem is we don't always get what we want...but if you try sometimes.....

 

[icastes]

I am sorry not to have replied earlier to Yoana earlier. While 36 is hiding, there is darkness everywhere. We must be practical about these things. When things are bad, they usually require a great deal of patience for luck to turn better. But there is darkness here, because the situation between the two people is not good. To assume that the parties involved are fine and it is only circumstances that are bad and getting in the way is a very naive approach. 49 is the revolution, and that means the old must be abolished. The past gives way to what is new, but that also means that the parties involved need to find new people for their lives.