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40.3.4 > 46 Will x give y to z?

Wairua

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I haven't posted for some time, I need to gain some clarity before going into the holidays and was hoping I could get some help with my ongoing issues :brickwall:. Having won the parental order in July the only thing left unestablished is our sons inheritance but it's an ongoing struggle.

When separating from his wife in 2004, he provided a ½ a million-dollar home to his older children. In 2015 we sold our home and he spent that money (our sons’ inheritance) on his batch. He has chosen to leave that to all of his children and I think that’s unfair.

Will x give y to z?
That is, will my x give the batch to our son?

40.3.4 > 46

40 Release
To turn around and come back is good fortune. With a direction to go, Daybreak, good fortune.'
To 'release' is to liberate, to solve problems, to untie knots.

This sounds extremely positive. :D

Line 3 'Shouldering a burden while also riding in a carriage, Invites the arrival of bandits.
Constancy, shame.'

I think this is where he is now, while he has ignored his youngest son (burden) he’s flaunting the batch to friends and family. Perhaps I am the bandit, perhaps the legal system. If he continues he will be shamed as I could have but didn’t take half in our separation.

Line 4 'Releasing the thumbs also. Partners arrive, hence truth and confidence.'

Wilhelm says Deliver yourself from your great toe. Then the companion comes, and him you can trust.

I am hoping that he will release the need to be associated with his wife, other children and previous wealth. So our son can go to him and trust that he has his best interests at heart.

46 'Pushing upward, creating success from the source. Make use of seeing great people.

I don’t usually look at other threads until I’ve formed an opinion. While my opinion here would be positive. I note the transitional hex 32.4 46 “No game in the field.” Is not my favourite… at all lol.

:duh: Is there light or am I dreaming?

Am I right to take this stand against him? 47.5 > 40

I think so, “shows its subject continuously maintaining the virtue”. I haven’t taken my decision lightly and have spoken to friends, family and even a pastor about the situation and my decision.

How can I best move forward? And I got 47.5 > 40 again.

With Christmas coming and our sons 8th birthday, it will be our third without his father. It weighs heavily on me, though our son seems not to care.

I know you’re all probably busy but I’d really appreciate any insight anyone has on this. I assume he will contact crying to see our son and while it’s hard, I intend to say no. :weep:

Thanks all in advance <3
 

Wairua

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Line 3 'Shouldering a burden while also riding in a carriage, Invites the arrival of bandits.
Constancy, shame.'

Or could it refer to me. Putting up with a poor relationship living in our lovely home being naive.

Line 4 'Releasing the thumbs also. Partners arrive

And if I'd let it go, not worry, help would come anyway.

My instinct tells me my first interpretation is closer. Seems the more I think on my message the wider my possible meaning becomes more meaningless :rofl:
 

Wairua

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I decided today to go back to court on the property matters.

It's awful waiting for a reply lol I tried to delete my post but it won't let me.. :hissy:
 

Wairua

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I decided today to go back to court on the property matters.

It's awful waiting for a reply lol I tried to delete my post but it won't let me.. :hissy:

Happy New Year Everyone.

I didn't get a reply but think this was referring to me releasing the need and want for resolution. Close the door theres nothing there and release the weight of it.

I had a reading and it confirmed that this is okay. I don't want money or assets I wanted a father provider for my son. Released.
 

equinox

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Good that you solved it and sorry that you didn't get responses, sometimes it is that nobody has an opinion about an reading because they -- just like me here -- didn't make experiences with that combination of hexagrams/lines in relation with the particular topic or/and can't relate with it in a theoretical approach. And sometimes its better to say nothing than to talk nonsense.
Happy new year to you too!
 

Wairua

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Thank you equinox for yr response. Perhaps the context is difficult too.

Today I asked the same question "will x leave y with z" and received 40.4>7

I think things are changing, not sure if it's his wife or myself who are the unnecessary convenience. I think it's her and his ego needing to assoc with her and the past wealth he left there.

I asked how he feels about me and received 49.1>31
 

equinox

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Could you please replace the placeholders x,y,z by the exact persons or things you are talking about? Of course you don't have to tell their names.
Because even after reading the EP again I find your question hard to decipher, or let's say I am not sure if I get you right.
 

Wairua

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Hi equinox It's "Will his father leave our son what he promised".
 

Wairua

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It's about a younger illegitimate sons inheritance
 

equinox

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I am not sure if I understand your point.
From the things you wrote, it reads to me like you mix up quite a few matters in your question. Like you want him to give your son this money and at the same time you want him to leave his current wife, since you think that she might be the "unnecessary inconvience"? But why should he leave her -- are there any signs or is it just what you hope? Do you want him to be with you and your son instead? Please clarify.
Your next request is more clear to me: You asked how he feels about you. Looks like he is tightly bound to a situation and not feeling like he wants to make big changes right now. Is he a very stubborn person?
 
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EmMacha

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Hi Wairua

I noticed that you are getting a lot of hexagram 40 around this topic. I have noticed that when I keep seeing a particular hexagram when I am inquiring about an issue 9 or a few issues), then it is very useful to step back from the questions, and consider (or enter) the hexagram deeply.
The lines are not as important when you keep getting various combinations of a Hexagram, i think. Yi is getting you to look at the background, or your context, through the hexagram that it keeps serving.

Just quoting these excerpts from 'The Poets I-Ching':
A stagnant low point is passing from your life. Whether it came from outside you, or it generated from your own subconscious longings, it is leaving. Many responsibilities and worries are upon you now. You contemplate how to reach some goal and become bogged down with details. This is a blessing in disguise since it keeps you aware and prepared for flare-ups as your hard times fade.

You have obviously been through a lot of struggles with the situation of being 'the mother of an illegitimate child'. Having a small child on your own, without the fathers support (or family) is HARD. I know, i have lived this. Having a child to care for is the hardest job in the world, it's 24/7! Being alone, and having to struggle to try to get what you feel your child needs or deserves is adding so much extra stress to the situation.

I chose to just walk away from the absent / in-and-out / 'it's unfair, he just bought a motorbike, new clothes, holiday' negativity with my eldest sons father. I just turned my back on it, when he was around 8 years old actually. Despite other difficulties, it was easier without the hooks and strings of being in a situation where I had to chase after him, struggle and argue and fight for his money, his time.
Yes I can still feel angry about it, feel the unfairness of it, even though my son is 20 now. He thought of it as his money, his time, not in terms of his son. It is his loss now. I left it up to my son, and he says that he might go to visit him, get this motorbike his Dad has been promising him for 12 years. But he is not really making any major plans to do that. He is focusing on getting into art college. Yes, but I did not want my son to learn a pattern, to see a situation of having to run after somebody who is playing games, being manipulative, strings and hooks, promises and lies and always you are running after somebody who controls the resources. I think this is the release that Yi is talking about too...let go of needing anything from the Dad, because you have got this far without him!

The age of 7 8 and 9, at this age, children leave the realm of infant-hood. They lose all their baby teeth, grow adult teeth. This is often the age of the individual. The brain, and the mind change at this age. There is a definite shift, a rite of passage at this time. I know from my own culture, it is the age of the 'holy communion' which is a big event in Ireland, they are dressed up in suits and dresses, as if they are mini adults. It's not actually very catholic, but reflects a much earlier tribal recognition of this change; out of infancy and into later childhood. Old Irish Brehon law saw this age as the age of taking on the rank of the parents; before this, every child had the status and honour price of a king. It was also the age of fosterhood, when a child could be sent to another household to be raised there, to learn something the family didn't have.

I know you would find this recognition of a change, or a right of passage in many other elder cultures around the world.

I think the release of 40 is also about this shift.
Your life has been yourself and your son for 8 years. Despite external circumstances such as a lack of recognition, or unfairness from the father, painful though they are, you have created a beautiful safe home for yourself and your son. You have been there for him.

Now he is changing, and I think Yi is asking you to consider this too; that you are coming out of the hard work years of infancy, into a time that is usually quite peaceful and rewarding with your child (until you hit adolescence, and moodiness, experimentation and becoming a non-person to them!).

I am not a catholic, so i did not do the 'communion' etc; but I do think the whole event also allows the parents to acknowledge this shift and change in their child, and that they are entering a different stage of parenting. It also allows you to mark your success so far.
It might do you good to celebrate this: how far you have got with your son, by yourself!
Well Done!

Please consider releasing the drama, the story of unfairness from your life. You have your son, it is you and him, a very special and beautiful bond.
Nothing and nobody can ever take that away now. You have done the hard work.
It is the fathers loss if he chooses to treat one of his children as less than the others!

If he is up there online, and flaunting this rich life, this superficial life - well let him! It will be his lesson, his loss later on when your son is a fine strong, self-possessed young man, aware of himself and entering into the world knowing who he is, and what he wants to do and be, and knowing that he does not need strings, hooks or games with people to get it. It will be his loss when your son does not need him or his games. It already is, your son already doesn't really care about his father, because he is not there.

Kids can teach us so much; they don't really care too much about someone who is not giving them attention.
Kids are great for focusing you on what is actually important in life!
"Look Mom! Look at the butterfly! MOM!!!!!!"


Actually your successful release depends on two principles: The first is the principle of timing. Right now, if you have things to do, get on with them. Don't put off making a decision because a later time will not help you. Conditions are not favorable for waiting.

I think you did this by going back to court, at the right time.
[FONT=&quot]But please do consider; if your son's Dad is on the birth cert, and he has acknowledged being the father, then your son has all he needs for later.[/FONT]

Could you try to release the emotions around it though?
Try to see court and legal stuff as a slow process, as something like saving for college, something that will be ready when he is 18, ready for him, so that he can make make his own choices.


Court, money etc...please see these things as preparations, you are just putting things in place for your son.
But please please take your emotions and thoughts out of it! It is a legal game, there is a big legal industry that profits from all of these situations, they keep the drama wheels turning.

These wheels also turn very slowly, and many people get very wound up, cycling through so many scenarios and internal stories of unfairness, injustice etc. And you can get caught in the 'rewards' at the end; the money, the rights to the property etc. You can succeed in getting that, and yet still feel cheated, because it wont change or rewrite the brain and thoughts of the father.
He will still treat your son unfairly. He has been doing it for 8 years already!

sometimes I have found http://inthefamilyway.org/iching/hexagrams/h40/ this site very good for I-Ching and parenting, mothering.

Screenshot_2018-05-04_10-25-15.jpg
Screenshot_2018-05-04_10-26-57.jpg

I thought these two excerpts very profound.

I think Yi is asking you to proceed slowly with legal issues, but to let go of emotions, grudges, to loosen the knots now.

Your son is changing, his needs have changed; there is more freedom and light around you now.
This phase of childhood and parenting is a very joyous and free time.
You can go on walks with your child, have amazing conversations, explore the world together.
You can also stretch yourself outside the home and parenting duties, you can start to look into the world and get involved in the world, in things that have nothing to do with being a mother.

There is space for you too.

Yi is asking that you look at this, that you unknot yourself from stress, and look at what is there for you
 
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Wairua

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Hi equinox he separated from his wife in 2003. We were together in 2008 our son born in 2010 he filed divorce in 2011. We bought a home in 2012. It was for our son. We sold it in 2015. When I found out he'd cancelled his divorce. He then spent our sons inheritance on something for his other children. He also within a month, took me to court to try and take custody but lost. I think that's wrong.
I hope that clarifies things. I don't want him to leave his wife. But given his wife was left 17 times more in their separation and still owes him 75k. I think it's fair to want the small amount he promised for our son.
 

Wairua

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Hi equinox, I don't want him to leave his wife, they legally separated in 2003. They've lived in different cities for the last 15 years, his children have never visited him! We met in 2008 and had our son in 2010. They were meant to have divorced in 2011 before we bought our home for our son in 2012.
When we sold our home in 2015. He left us, took me to custody court, lost. And spent sons promised inheritance on a run down shed making a Bach which goes to his wife because he's still married and has not made a will for our son.
I'm not a home wrecker. And it may seem like I'm confusing issues. But given his wife and other 30+ year old children received 17 times more. I think it's fair to expect him to keep his promise.
This is all in previous threads as I went through court and figured out what was happening.
Thanks
 

Wairua

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Sorry wrote twice.. Internet's slow and I still can't delete anything here lol
 

Wairua

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Dear EmMacha

You were so right. I'm having a few tears because yes you're right and even though it's unfair and may never be fair I can't let it define me. It has hurt so deeply it has been.

Thank you so much. I thought about forgiveness before but today I think I'm closer than I've been.

That's really about healing and I can't thank you enough. I'm going to step away with this and come back to reread again later. <3
 

equinox

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Sorry I have no clue if the I-Ching is telling you that he should get rid of his attitude or if you are asked to shift your focus and to let go of your hopes and fears concerning this situation.

I think you should do everything that is reasonable in order to solve the matter in favor of your son.
But beyond that, I would try to let go of the matter as best as you can -- remembering that letting go doesn't necessarily mean to give up, but to trust that everything will be like it should be.
It is a tough situation you are in and I' ll keep my fingers crossed that you are going to get justice and find peace soon.
 

Wairua

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Dear EmMacha

I’ve read, reread and thought on your reply quite a lot today. Yes, I felt the relevance in hexagram 40 but I only had a surface understanding of it and felt quite frustrated in my inability to embrace “release” lol.

The Poets I-Ching resonated immediately. While I'm still sad, it’s true, my life has turned around. I have new girlfriends and we're all the same age. I've taken up a new hobby and it feel like the stagnation is lifting.

Repairing the situation is my impossible goal, gaining some justice for our son is so entwined in that. I fear his unpredictable, lightning speed, explosive anger and rage lol. He is an extremely stubborn man, I certainly wouldn't go to meet him in private, so yes, I need to be prepared.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I seem to be following behind in your shoes. I had insisted on commitment and the whole lot was based on lies. Yes, if he were back in son’s life it would be hard to keep him out of mine. This could easily lead to another 8 years of falsity. I need to release myself from that very real possibility here.

Our little son has grown and as I see the sense of humour his sensitivity and kindness. It makes me sad that his father has chosen a different path. He is missing the best and I can't understand his decision. It's been hard not having an explanation.

Your right I do need to celebrate, I held it together like a boss lol, I hold up my household and have a great job that I love. Parenthood is the hardest but the most rewarding job. I had little son at 41, I'd been told I couldn't have more children, he is a blessing &#55357;&#56842; my world. I babied all my 3 kids but this one badly, we are incredibly close. He is growing, often choosing to be with his grandfather or big
brother than accompany me. Correct, there is a release in that situation too.

Yes I did well in court, I followed it through and represented myself in the end. His father's name is on the birth certificate. But the bach is built on (his and my) family land, so it complicates everything again. Our son could later just move in, legally nobody could do anything about it. But I wouldn't want him to have something that he wasn't given freely, it's not worth it.

Like you say fighting for anything would be a slow negative process, likely to damage everyone further. I will release the whole thought of legal processes. Unless he takes me back for the parental order, I'll just leave it as it is.

And it’s true, I need to gain control over my emotions, as ridiculous as this may sound, I think we remain connected. It cycles through the months and at times through this I'm not
releasing but holding, going over the injustice and deluding myself about possible apologies. This is pulling me down because then I have to disconnect again ☹.

http://inthefamilyway.org/iching/hexagrams/h40/ Thank you so much for this link, it's given me a much deeper meaning of 40 release, it's really an opportunity for healing. This site is amazing.

Untie knots, dispel sorrows, understand motivations. I caught up with three girlfriends today and worked on my new hobby. I'm enjoying my new freedom and I have gathered a crowd.
Thank you EmMacha, for taking the time to give me such an in-depth interpretation. I've found some faith in my direction and a sense of peace in seeing our future without him.

It's so accurate it's amazing, it is a great time for us atm.

Thank you again, blessing :hug:
 

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