40.4 to 7 - approach to (difficult) relationship

[barbaloot]

Hi, I did this reading yesterday for my relationship that has reached a crisis point. So here is my tale of woe. I have found my partner flirting with a lot of other women on facebook and he has admitted to stringing another lady along who is very attached to him the whole time we have been together (11 months) and he propositioned another for casual sex. He swore he'd change his ways and said I could look at his facebook interactions once a month until I had re-built some trust. Anyway things came to a head when he wouldn't let me look at his facebook after only one month had passed because he said "there are some things I just shouldn't have said" and he moved out. He was crying and seems remorseful. Anyway, I have a book about relationship abuse that says a 'player' is a type of abuser and my ex/partner has agreed to do a relationship violence course. I asked the i ching how I should approach the situation re making a decision about whether I should go down that path or let it go altogether. After looking at other threads about 40.4 > 7, I am not sure whether the reading is saying he will become one I can trust or to make way for someone I can trust. Any thoughts would be much appreciated

 

[goddessliss]

Hi, I did this reading yesterday for my relationship that has reached a crisis point. So here is my tale of woe. I have found my partner flirting with a lot of other women on facebook and he has admitted to stringing another lady along who is very attached to him the whole time we have been together (11 months) and he propositioned another for casual sex. He swore he'd change his ways and said I could look at his facebook interactions once a month until I had re-built some trust. Anyway things came to a head when he wouldn't let me look at his facebook after only one month had passed because he said "there are some things I just shouldn't have said" and he moved out. He was crying and seems remorseful. Anyway, I have a book about relationship abuse that says a 'player' is a type of abuser and my ex/partner has agreed to do a relationship violence course. I asked the i ching how I should approach the situation re making a decision about whether I should go down that path or let it go altogether. After looking at other threads about 40.4 > 7, I am not sure whether the reading is saying he will become one I can trust or to make way for someone I can trust. Any thoughts would be much appreciated

Hey barbaloot, I believe it means Trust yourself and what your doing and how you have handled him and the situation. Release him, trust yourself and others who you can trust will come to you.
If you can trust that you have done the right thing here (which you have) then that is what you will attract to you - others who you can trust.
- Liss

PS another good book to read is Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.

You will learn so much about yourself. Trust me

 

[Ichingtarot]

Be the force for change

IMO your hexagram is advising you to free yourself from inferior influences (40.4) That could be him, or your attraction to him. Either way, Since the Army (7) is the resulting hexagram you are going to have to take the leadership role. He won't or can't.

 

[barbaloot]

Thanks very much for your feedback. I keep vascillating. My ex reckons that he had stopped his flirtatious interactions on facebook and the stuff he couldn't show me were a product of the times when he was flirting - around October last year. Most of the stuff I saw previously was from around that period. Not really sure whether to believe what he says cause he wouldn't show me. But anyways, I do believe he loves me and he keeps ringing me in tears and is trying to get me to give him another chance. I asked the i ching for some insight into our situation and it gave me 34.3 to 54, which pretty much describes how the situation has been - with him abusing power and me feeling like things are not exclusive. Then I asked whether he is capable of change (if he does the program, and with maybe gaining his facebook password) and I got 15.3 >2. I took this last reading to mean maybe it is worth pushing things as far as they will go before leaving him altogether? I'm afraid that because we have just broken up my emotions are probably fogging my judgement and any insights into this are much appreciated.

 

[goddessliss]

The guy has serious issues and it sounds like you may be in a co-dependent relationship with him.
The best thing I've found to do is break all contact and see what's happening in 3 months time. If there is a significant change within him then maybe reconsider but in my experience these sort of people rarely change. While your waiting out the 3 months work on your own self and see how you feel about it all in 3 months time. You may have a completely different outlook on thing and him. - Liss

 

[anon]

Sounds like he needs a spanking!

But your reading bodes well for you and your relationship.

I would read it as: lay down the law on him. Let him know that you are serious and not to be messed with and hope for the best.

It seems like he actually wants you to get tough on him. Give him an ultimatum. It seems like he is going to respond favorably to it! Good luck

Hex 40.4>7

 

[stadt]

The guy has serious issues and it sounds like you may be in a co-dependent relationship with him.
The best thing I've found to do is break all contact and see what's happening in 3 months time. If there is a significant change within him then maybe reconsider but in my experience these sort of people rarely change. While your waiting out the 3 months work on your own self and see how you feel about it all in 3 months time. You may have a completely different outlook on thing and him. - Liss

That's 40.4 right there for you

 

[oceangirl]

what happened here?