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42.3.6>63 & 57.1>9 Future of relationship

Newbie21

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Hi all, I'm posting these readings on behalf of a friend. I'm helping her with the interpretations as these are the first castings she's ever done.

So a little background: She's been seeing a lovely man for 6/7 months, he has been smitten with her from the very first time they met, actually head over heels in love with her this whole time which is very sweet. They are perfect together, actually all of our friends, myself included saw wedding bells & happily ever after for them!
They live quite a distance apart & both have work commitments that make it quite difficult to see each other but they make it work through monthly visits & online messaging etc.
All seemed to be going swimmingly until they had an argument a few weeks before Christmas where he got unnecessary nasty & viscous towards her, which shocked her & frankly shocked me hearing it! Seemed totally out of character & the opposite of the kind of person he seems to be, but horrible behaviour so they ended the relationship & said they'd just be friendly.
They have been texting back & forth but no serious conversations, I think she is still taken aback over what happened. He's said a few times that he misses her & he thinks about her but never elaborates or asks to talk about what happened. And what I feel is kind of important - he hasn't offered her an apology or expressed any remorse since the last time they met in person!
But she was invested in this relationship & they had mentioned about moving in together before all this happened so obviously it's on her mind all the time. She loves him but is very wary of this viscous side of him that has surfaced.

So she asked:
Is there a loving future together with him? 42.3.6 >63

I told her to maybe reword the question as to not ask about future telling & she asked:

Is it beneficial to engage with him romantically at a later time? 57.1 >9


So 42 seemed to be good, "increase", with line 3 saying seemingly unfortunate events can lead to good fortune in a time of general increase. But line 6 really worries me: abusing power or a privilege, increase to no one. Indeed, someone even strikes him. He does not keep his heart constantly steady. Misfortune.
This seems to describe where they are at now, the relationship is over because of his horrible actions but does line 3 suggest it is possible to get past this?
I'm not sure of the resulting 63? It seems to be positive but possibly ending in disaster if not watched?

And I'm really unsure about the 57.1 > 9
57 & 9 seem to be very similar, softer/gentle strength though time. Line 1 speaks of her 1000 doubts, advancing & retreating (which is probably how she feels herself right now with not knowing how to feel about him) but also speaks of having perseverance of a warrior.
Does Hex 9 speak of gentle success? Clouds but no rain, so maybe yes it would be beneficial later on down the line when the clouds have cleared?

Not sure if I've gotten any of that right, any inputs with these Hex's would be much appreciated! :)
 

Newbie21

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Oh I forgot to mention she had asked what she should do about him straight after their altercation & got: 4.1.3 > 26 (so this was the very first reading)

I had gotten those lines before myself recently so was able to help with the interpretation.
She decided to hit the pause button with him so to speak after that casting.
 

ginnie

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4.1.3 > 26 points to a man who is inconsistent or a situation that is going to fall apart. The hexagram 4 indicates that something is hidden from the inquirer, perhaps the full extent of what's going to go wrong. ... This really gives a warning about this relationship.
 

Newbie21

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Sorry the 4.1.3 > 26 wasn't directly about the relationship, she was asking how should deal with/do with regards to him after the altercation.

I felt Hex 4 spoke of his childlike innocence with being in love with her so fast & deeply, but also his childish nasty behaviour during their argument, line 1 saying he needs to learn from this & she must "discipline the student but not harshly" & line 3 not to throw herself at him, let him come to her, be "wooed again". And Hex 26 "Great Restraint" so hold back, hold your power, let it build up. And when the time is right be the leader but in a subtle, soft way.

Any input on the 42.36.6 > 63 or 57.1 > 9?

All these readings seem to speak of a slow, soft approach.
 

ginnie

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Is there a loving future together with him? 42.3.6 >63

I don't know what the unfortunate event is that is the subject of line 3, but the line says there is no blame in using this incident for advancement. Line 6, however, says that much as she would like to increase, she won't be able to do that. That is rather a let-down, given the question asked.

Is it beneficial to engage with him romantically at a later time? 57.1 >9

This implies that she has doubts about her own intentions. She advances and retreats without making a decision. The line advises having more the stance of a warrior in the sense of being clear about what the goal is. I myself am doubtful if this is an auspicious line for romance!
 

Newbie21

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Thanks ginnie!

I think 42.3 might speak of the altercation itself which was the reason for them breaking up. I'm not sure how it could be used for advancement though.

Line 6: Confucius says about this line: "The superior man sets his person at rest before he moves; he composes his mind before he speaks, he makes his relations firm before he asks for something. By attending to these three matters, the superior man gains complete security. But if a man is brusque in his movements, others will not cooperate. If he is agitated in his word, they awaken no echo in others. If he asks for something without having fist established relations, it will not be given to him. If no one is with him, those who would harm him draw near."
Maybe this suggests she must take time to herself (rest), to have a firm idea of what is acceptable & unacceptable in the relationship & voice that when the time is right?

57.1 defiantly speaks of her doubt, but her doubt in not in the relationship itself but in him & whether this situation was a once off or a very nasty flip side of him that might appear again. I think the advancing & retreating my be in reference to him; he makes contact telling her he misses her, thinking about her etc. (advancing) but doesn't seem to go further than that to engage or encourage a conversation about what happened or where they stand with each other, like he shys away from it (retreating). It feels like he's testing the water so to speak to see if she's still receptive to him. I wonder if the warrior reference is about her? She is a take the bull by the horns type of person usually, so maybe it's telling her to just spit it out about how she feels, lay it all out on the table, discipline and decisiveness is necessary.

And what of the resulting Hex's 63 & 9?

I'm finding quite mixed reactions to 63. The image of water over fire might suggest that a loving future with him is indeed possible but only with balance & constant attention to keep that balance?

And 9, small restraint, in the end progress & success, through gentleness & determination. It's funny that she asked about engaging with him romantically at a later time & this suggests an accumulation of "small" power over time.

I'd love to hear more interpretations of these Hex's....I always find it amazing how insightful they really are! :)
 

Newbie21

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Using the traditional line method for the reading Is there a loving future together with him? 42.3.6 >63

It would read:
42.3 > 37
37.6 > 63

With the inclusion of Hex 37 (Family) this would make it an auspicious reading considering the topic of the question no?
With Line 6 saying lead by example: "His work commands respect.In the end good fortune comes"


This is my first time employing transitional lines to a reading so please correct me if I am wrong! :)
 

Tim K

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I think she is the leader in this situation, and should re-boot the relationship.
The increase is possible (although through some troubles and obstacles 42.3), sitting at home won't do her any good (42.6, it's time for action), .6 line warns about a ruler who doesn't serve/increase the welfare of his subjects (her man in this case).

57.1 yes there will be benefit, perseverance of a warrior who doesn't give up at the first complication brings good fortune.

4.1.3 too much restriction of activity prevents growth, but too little self-control is also not good.
42.3 - take the middle way, indeed.

63 - a good balance of water and fire, auspicious I think.
I think overcoming that 'hidden side' of this man is a lesson for her, so
42, Crowley: Increase; now's no time to sit and shiver; but to move on, even to cross the river.
 

Newbie21

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Thanks ashteroid for your wonderful insight! :)

He is coming to visit her next week so we shall see how this all pans out.
 

Newbie21

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HI all! An update on this ongoing saga! (With more readings of course! ;) )

So he FINALLY came to see her a month ago! But the road to that visit was long & quite frustrating.
That had arranged that he was coming the first weekend in March, chit chat back & forth, then for almost 2 wks before his due visit, nothing from him! So a week beforehand she sent a facebook message asking if he was still coming, to which he replied that he was still arranging stuff (he has to fly in). He finally got back to her the Thursday night of that week (he was suppose to be there that weekend!) saying because of work commitments he couldn't come.
She let it slide, cause it was work & he said he'd fly in the following week.....& thus begins the pattern.
Of course the following week, having not heard from him since then she messaged him at the start of the week to ask which day he was flying in, a normal request I think! Again he said he was still arranging things....& then nothing! Obviously she was upset, if you're not coming just say so! Also embarrassed as she had made plans for them, bought a lot of shopping/food to cook up (he had asked her beforehand if she could cook something in particular, which I think is a little cheeky considering he was the one that should've been making up to her!). She finally got a txt back that Fri night after she asked was he already in her city "Oh things didn't work out for me this week, I'll come next wkend if that's ok". How inconsiderate!! He could've told her earlier; was he even going to bother letting her know?!
So similar happened the following wkend; so when he actually txted her to set dates & booked the flights she was a bit wary, had he even booked them or was it a lie again? Again she heard nothing all week from him, he ignoring or not replying to messages so when it came the day that his flight was due in she was half expecting him to be a no show. But he did come!
All went well the first two or so days, he seemed to be enjoying her company, even apologized for their altercation, totally unprompted, said he was ashamed at how he had acted. But when her child (8yrs) acted up one of the days he seemed to withdraw totally. Withdraw to the point of not hearing either of them when they spoke to him! Very odd! They had one more day alone & all went well until his last day - he wanted to go out that night but she had her child back & couldn't get a babysitter. Whilst they were out & about that day she was waiting to hear back if she had a sitter, the day was miserable, cold & wet, so all the child wanted to do was go home or to a toy shop! As kids do! He seemed to be annoyed at that so she asked him what he'd like to do; he just kept staring at her blankly! Frustrated she suggested they go home & make some dinner & wait there to see if the sitter came though. He agreed, saying as long as he got to spend his last night with her. As they were going into the supermarket she stopped him to say maybe they should go halves on the shopping as she was running out of money (& fed up paying for everything! He was eating her out of house & home, & barely put his hand in his pocket the whole time he was there!), he suddenly decided he needed a time out & he went into the city by himself, said he'd meet her later on if she got a sitter, otherwise he'd make his own way back to her house! So she went home a little hurt & then found out the sitter wasn't going to happen, txt him & he said he's stay out for a while longer. She was quite upset. He showed up back at her house at midnight! He was very quite, she assumed it was because he knew she was upset with him...turns out he was annoyed at HER for not being able to come out for the night!! He's known her situation the whole time they've known each other & he knows how difficult it is for her to get a night out.....the man is in his 40's - how immature is that reaction!
The following morning (leaving day) it was all very frosty between them, but being the person she is she tried to lighten the tone...& low & behold right before the taxi arrived to bring him to the airport he blurts out that he doesn't wanna give up on her & that he doesn't want her to be with anyone else! Then the whole time at the airport as she's seeing him off he's acting all sweet like when they first met!
Understandably confused, she decided to write the few days off as maybe too much pressure put on their time spent together.
Unfortunately this inconsistency continued after he went home :/
A few short fun txts back & forth, then he stopped replying to her txts out of the blue. So about 2 wks after he'd gone home she txt to say he's left some clothes, if he wanted them posted back. He said that he wanted to come over again...puzzled she asked why, that he'd given the impression that he wasn't interested by ignoring her txts...he said he was busy in work (another excuse!)...she said it wasn't cool, that somewhere in the course of a week he could find the time to send a quick reply....then nothing - that got ignored for almost a week!! T make matters worse she could see him active on the messenger app the whole time!
All she got back almost a week later was "don't be mad at me, I'm confused"! She called him out on it; saying that he should've said it to her & they could've talked about it, being silent solves nothing etc. Told him all she wanted was for him to be genuine with her, & where the hell was the man she had met all those months ago....he then asked for her to come see him, saying again that he didn't want to give up on her! He was being sweet, chatting on facebook the whole next day; they sent the odd txt a few days later, then nothing again for a week! She sent a facebook message asking how he was etc - ignored. Sent a funny pic a few days later; got a quick reply saying she was cute etc. Txt him on his phone twice last wkend, again -ignored!
Needless to say she's very confused about all this behaviour. She doesn't know where she stands with him, if he likes her as much as he says then why the severe lack of communication?? If you're not interested then have the balls to say so! What is going on! She's stressed out & fed up with it...I think she should call him out on it but that doesn't seem to have worked so far :/

It's crazy to think that the man we all thought was the sweetest & wanted her to end up with turned into one of the most inconsiderate & immature guys I've known! I can see frustration & disappointment for her future with him unless he wises up & starts appreciating her & acting like the man she first met!

Sorry that was crazy LONG!!
 

Newbie21

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Sorry with all that rant I forgot to post her readings!

She thinks maybe there's something going on that she's not aware of, or maybe being hidden from her...although she doesn't suspect cheating at all. So she asked:

What should I know about the situation with him? : 8.1.5 > 24

8 - Holding Together - sounds promising. Does line 1 say to trust him? "A full bucket with eventually arrive, good fortune"
Line 5 - I'm not sure of this line.
24 Return, progress.

How should I proceed? : 20.1.2.3 > 9 (again with the 9!)

20 - Both contemplating & being seen, does this say lead by example?
Not sure of line 1 here; childlike observation but for a noble one with responsibilities not adequate...would that maybe be in reference to her child?
Line 2 I think may speak of something being half shown, so maybe a judgement cannot be made until the full situation is exposed? Really not sure of line 3!

I thought this might be relevant (especially with the 24 reading): she'll be going on a trip with friends in June back to place where they first met a year ago (she goes there every year)...24 - Returning!
Of course it could mean a return to the way things used to be, which would be promising.

I think she doesn't really know what to do, call him out on it again & make one last effort on him...or just be done with the whole thing...

Any thoughts on these lines & Hex's??
Any relevance to getting 9 again?
 
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Tim K

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I'm taken aback by his behaviour, to the point I wish to take my words back.

What to do about him? 4 - 26
Stop the foolishness, prevent further damage [26], contain it[26].
4.1 → 41 (Decreasing), Crowley:
Correct him once to free; twice? Let him go!

4.3 → 18 (Managing Decay), Crowley: Wed not loose women, only that they know.
Such clear advice, in a hindsight.

Is there a future? 42 - 63
Trying to increase something already complete and formed.
Nope.
.3 and .6 - excess power/action leading to calamity.

Maybe later? 57.1 - 9
Even slight advance [57] is prevented [.1].
1st line imho always depicts a failed scenario of a hex, an under-fed engine.
9 is an opposite of 16, stopping power.

And now with 2 new readings:
What should I know about the situation with him? : 8.1.5 > 24
The union is not working 8.1, and 8.5 - stay passive, only accept the initiative from him, don't force someone to be in love if they don't want to.
8-24 return to yourself.

How should I proceed? : 20.1.2.3 > 9 (again with the 9!)
Wait, look objectively (20's inverse is 34 - power and advance), and again with 9 - slow down (like a 26's little brother).

I think I'm too biased somehow and shouldn't post anymore advice :)
More and more I think that (esp. with multiple lines) the actual text doesn't matter. It's the position and just the hexes themselves that matter.
 

Newbie21

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Thank you ashteroid for your reply! Sorry I had edited the post before I saw your reply.

I think in her question "What should I know about the situation with him? 8.1.5 > 24", she meant what the hell is going on over there with him? Is there something going on in the background that she's not been made aware of?

While he can be an extremely sweet guy, he seems to be very immature & quite insecure. When he's insecure & not sure on how she feels about him he seems to pull back & even attempt to throw the relationship away cause he's afraid to get hurt - he did that early on in the relationship after he'd had a few drinks; he picked a fight with her out of the blue over nothing, ended it with her, she stood her ground & told him how wrong & horrible he was being & that's when he blurted out that he was in love with her! He apologized & admitted that he was insecure & was afraid of getting hurt cause he thought she didn't want a serious relationship, only a bit of fun!
And again when he came over last she by her own admittance was a bit stand-offish with him at first; which is understandable considering they hadn't seen each other since they're big fight...he has to earn back her trust! I get the impression that maybe in his own life & his own circle of friends that everyone comes to him & that's what he has been used to.

There seems to be a pattern of his words & actions not matching up...something I personally can't stand in a person!
 

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