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44.5.6>32-How will it proceed if I attempted to develop a relationship with this woman?

wishofthed

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I have a strong attraction to a woman that is older than me. She is a intelligent, single, tall, elegant, older women (50s). I met her during my dance class and wanted to eventually develop a romantic relationship with her. We always laugh and she loves my sense of humor. I'm not sure if she finds me attractive and I don't want to risk our current platonic relationship if this isn't meant to be. She maybe put off by our age differences. I can't assume she is attracted to me as she hasn't taken on my offer to go hiking with my friends group or practice before the dance socials. She maybe just a nice genuine person.

I consulted with the Oracle ad asked what would happened if I attempted to develop a romantic relationship with her-I received the following: Hexagram 44 (changing lines-5,6) into 32.

I don't think this is auspicious. I am getting the indication that I shouldn't be in a relationship with her and that I will need to move on (perhaps, it's merely a lasting attraction). I am having some difficulties with interpreting Hexagram 32 within my situation.


Many thanks!
 
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maisie

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Hello Wishofthed
First of all I just wanted to say when I have received hexagram 44 about a person , or about a situation in combination with line 5 usually worked out alright in the end.
Line 5 A melon covered with leaves something nice comes eventually.



When I have recieved hexagram 44 with some of the other lines it was really a warning about the person.
ie my brother's awful wife and the woman who went off with my first husband.
Just my experience there.

Good luck to you.
 

Freedda

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I understand when you describe this woman as intelligent, single, elegant, ... but I'm not sure what her being 'tall' has to do with all this - unless you are not nearly as tall and that makes you nervous - and you've said how old she is, but not you? So, is the difference in your ages, 5 years, 10, 30?

As you describe her, it seems you consider her a 'powerful' woman - and that her attractiveness is part of what makes her powerful in your eyes. So, do you think that a powerful woman like this might be interested in a man who says, 'I was attracted to you, but I didn't follow through because of advice I got from a book and from some strangers on a website?' I know what I'd think - and I'm neither a woman nor all that powerful.

So, to me this reading suggest that you've gotten way too much into your thoughts - in your head - about the potential and the outcome here, which is not at all uncommon given your attraction to her; but that perhaps what is needed is a bit more of a decisive move, like ...

... 'this is a bit awkward for me, but I was wondering if I could take you out for dinner some time?' - or some such thing, in your own words of course.​

It would be a definitive, 'down to earth' move, but not one that is overbearing. And after all, regardless of her response, you would have something real to work with, and - as the upper lines says - 'no harm is done'.

Best, D
 
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Liselle

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Hilary put the following comment in WikiWing:
Experience: when a gift comes falling from heaven, it’s not likely to be what you were
expecting or planning for. You may or may not be able to use it; it may not come to
fruition as you imagine.
She also points out that if line 5 was changing by itself, it would change to hexagram 50, The Vessel. What she says about that is:

44 zhi Hexagram 50: in the Vessel, cooking/incubating – a gift still undergoing
transformation, so its final shape isn’t yet visible.
Line 6's omen does say, "Shame. Not a mistake." So, maybe "what would happen" (your question) is if you go ahead and indicate your interest as Freedda suggests, you'll find out what it is you don't know (line 5), and maybe you'll be a little embarrassed but at least you'll know.

And then you can each go back to your normal orbits - 32? I don't know; that's a guess. It's an interesting combination of hexagrams, though. In 44, the woman is not to be "married" - 44 things usually don't last long. Whereas 32 is generally about habits, the predictable orbits of planets, things that do last long and endure.

Another guess is that nothing truly horrible will happen if you approach her - "shame," but nonetheless "no mistake." But of course you're the only one who can estimate the risk.
 

wishofthed

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Another guess is that nothing truly horrible will happen if you approach her - "shame," but nonetheless "no mistake." But of course you're the only one who can estimate the risk.
Yes you are right. I had trouble with interpreting the second hexagram and how it fits with my question. Just speculating, I think I will be softly rejected from Hexagram 44? But what does it mean that it will last?

Regardless, I will ask her out as it will be easier on the heart to live without regret.
 

wishofthed

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I understand when you describe this woman as intelligent, single, elegant, ... but I'm not sure what her being 'tall' has to do with all this - unless you are not nearly as tall and that makes you nervous - and you've said how old she is, but not you? So, is the difference in your ages, 5 years, 10, 30?

As you describe her, it seems you consider her a 'powerful' woman - and that her attractiveness is part of what makes her powerful in your eyes. So, do you think that a powerful woman like this might be interested in a man who says, 'I was attracted to you, but I didn't follow through because of advice I got from a book and from some strangers on a website?' I know what I'd think - and I'm neither a woman nor all that powerful.

So, to me this reading suggest that you've gotten way too much into your thoughts - in your head - about the potential and the outcome here, which is not at all uncommon given your attraction to her; but that perhaps what is needed is a bit more of a decisive move, like ...

... 'this is a bit awkward for me, but I was wondering if I could take you out for dinner some time?' - or some such thing, in your own words of course.​

It would be a definitive, 'down to earth' move, but not one that is overbearing. And after all, regardless of her response, you would have something real to work with, and - as the upper lines says - 'no harm is done'.

Best, D
Yes Freedda is right...Short or tall, younger or older-I would still be attracted to her. I just wanted to personalize the person a little without giving too much away (my poor attempt). I do consider her a "powerful" woman-her independence, self-reliance and intelligence are traits that I admire.

Can you be more specific when you said "no harm is done"? Well...I can take rejection well and I will respect her regardless if she is attracted to me or not.

I am into my head. Yes, I will need to move this situation forward and have something to work with. The pain of rejection or misinterpreting can cause issues but I take your suggestion to heart.

Thanks for taking the time to read my comments.
 

Liselle

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But what does it mean that it will last?
I only meant that hexagram 32 can represent things that last, like habits, and/or are predictable, like the orbits of planets. I don't know exactly what it represents in your reading. (Sorry.)
 

moss elk

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In line 6, someone gets angry.
The reading doesn't seem promising for a relationship.
 

rosada

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44. The Temptation
32. Continues

If you attempt to develop a romantic relationship you will find your interest doesn't wane so I vote you speak up! You might want to watch a video or two that celebrates younger man/older woman relationships just to get your unconscious primed to guide you properly. (I think Somethings Got to Give is such a film but I don't remember for sure..)
 

wishofthed

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44. The Temptation
32. Continues

If you attempt to develop a romantic relationship you will find your interest doesn't wane so I vote you speak up! You might want to watch a video or two that celebrates younger man/older woman relationships just to get your unconscious primed to guide you properly. (I think Somethings Got to Give is such a film but I don't remember for sure..)
You are right. I rather face the humiliation of rejection if the hexagram is headed that way. I don't care that she is older than me but she may care. Regardless, it's her choice if she accepts my advances.

I had to ask the I-Ching as I have misinterpreted cues from women before-just trying to create a harmonious dynamic...

Thank you for those that replied.
 

moss elk

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There are things worse than rejection.
Such as a long lasting bad relationship.
You got 44, which specifically says: do not marry this one.
 

marybluesky

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Hello wishofthed!

What would happened if I attempted to develop a romantic relationship with her-I received the following: Hexagram 44 (changing lines-5,6) into 32.
You find her, or your emotions toward her, too intense/powerful (44). Something valuable will unfold (44.5), something you don't see now; and you'll be tempted to push the things hastily which causes stress but no important difficulty. This continues for a while (32).
 

wishofthed

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Hello wishofthed!

What would happened if I attempted to develop a romantic relationship with her-I received the following: Hexagram 44 (changing lines-5,6) into 32.
You find her, or your emotions toward her, too intense/powerful (44). Something valuable will unfold (44.5), something you don't see now; and you'll be tempted to push the things hastily which causes stress but no important difficulty. This continues for a while (32).
Thank you for your response. I did ask her to go out dancing with me to outside events (two different times) but she declined. I wanted to really allow it to become a gateway to better know her and to see if she would be interested in me. You are indeed right on the interpretation, I did push things hastily, but I don't think it matters...I think I hide my disappointment well from her and I didn't get angry (someone did mentioned it from a prior posting)-no shame either for trying!

This I-Ching casting did allow me to gain a better understanding of the situation. My attraction to her is strong. Based on her actions, she simply isn't interested in me (nothing wrong with that). I may keep more of a distance from her to allow myself to move on and open up space for other things. I hope she doesn't think I am aloof or don't like her, but I don't want to continually make this a lasting (Hexagram 32) theme of me trying to develop a romantic relationship with someone who isn't interested. I also think Hexagram 32/"Lasting" could also mean that there is nothing I can do to change her mind-she isn't attracted to me, period.

This casting has allowed me to prevent a possible undesirable reality via reflection. Thanks marybluesky!
 

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