44???

[seeker]

I got this hex, unchanging, and am not sure how it relates to the question. Background is my divorce is still pending because we are arguing over the condo which my daughter and I live in, but is jointly owned with my husband. Initially, I wanted to hold onto it as my mortgage was very low and it was my daughters home and I thought she had had enough changes in her life. However, over the last year, due to tax increases and an increase in the APR, the mortgage has increased by $150 per month, and my daughter appears to be adjusting well. I have been rethinking my position and my options. I asked Yi if I should sell the condo and got 44. My understanding of 44 relates to coupling and influence, so I am not sure what this means. The only thing I could find that even remotely related was not trying to enforce your will and meeting someone halfway. Any thoughts???

 

[peace]

Doesn't it also have to do with temptation? Could be temptation of pride, power, etc.

Peace

 

[bruce]

Seeker, I think "not trying to enforce your will and meeting someone halfway" is a real possibility for 44. It's sometimes hard to tell if Yi is speaking to our temperament or emotional condition, or whether it's directly and pragmatically answering the question asked. In this case, perhaps they are the same?

One other thing I've noticed with 44 is that there is often a pregnant opportunity which accompanies it. The mood may not always be especially amiable, but then neither are the moods that accompany a pregnancy. Large purchases, for example, can create a stressful and temperamental disposition.

 

[lightofdarkness]

As a universal, 44 pairs with 28 and reflects exaggerations in issues of cultivation etc - excess but also a preparedness to go beyond what is normally required; to go the extra distance.

28 is unconditional in this act, 44 is conditional, more persuasive/seductive and so its link to intercourse etc BUT that is a very particular aspect of 44 overall.

44 has its roots, its basic architecture in 43 - seeding (spreading the 'word') - and so that basic develops into the focus on persuasion/seduction.

For an alternative perspective, still using the IC, try the questions method:

http://www.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/lofting/icplusProact.html

Chris.

 

[hilary]

I wonder - going out a long way on a very thin limb - whether you might be thinking of selling up now not just because your daughter is adjusting well, but because you are. I mean, that your stronger self is emerging and ready to move on to something new. Maybe selling the condo would finalise the break for you (moving on from 43) and allow in completely new possibilities? Potentially scary, unpredictable stuff, but pregnant with possibilities, like the man said.

 

[seeker]

Excellant thoughts from all, lots to think about. Wondering what the possibility would be, and still not sure if it is saying to do it or not. Hilary, that actually is how I am feeling lately, I have started my life over and more and more I make changes and move ahead. My marriage ended, I am looking at a new career, and I planned and carried out my first real vacation on almost 10 years, doing all the research, planning and preparation myself. So yes, perhaps this is just another step in my taking charge of my life and breaking all ties with the past. Question is, is it the right step???

 

[seeker]

To see if I could get a clearer picture, I asked in regards to the condo, what now? 51.1.5 to 45. But what do I do, sell or not? 56.3 to 35.

I read the first answer as saying there could be some unexpected things, but to remain calm and go forward. I am not sure about the second answer. Just looking at the hexes I would read it as wandering would bring progress, so would think yes, go ahead and sell, but I am not sure about the moving line. The translation I have talks about a house burning up and misfortune. I usually read this line as misfortune caused by arrogance or not treating others right, but I ma not sure how it applies here.

 

[lightofdarkness]

Seeker, the fact that you organised your vacation etc and obviously feel good about doing that, together with the focus on 'breaking all ties with the past' - and so all emotional/financial ties with the ex in the form of the condo - suggests (a) sell it and (b) you have the skills to deal with any 'downside' as well as potential 'upside'.

But there is also (c) rent it out. That will give you a capital base usable to raise funds for continued development. Since you still share it with your ex so make a business proposition where both sides retain ownership but do not live there, it is for capital growth of both sides - and if need be one side can buy out the other if need be.

The only contact as such would be via the real estate agent managing the condo. There are two equations at work here:

C - M - C = commodities are sold for money and the money used to buy. But there is no growth potential here.

M - C - M' = money buys commodities that are then sold for a profit and so more money - this forms a loop that can grow M (money).

The first path is 'use value' - it goes nowhere once the transaction is complete. The second path is 'exchange value' - it can go other places as it develops 'surplus value'. It is the path of capitalism.

With your child there are costs that will include education etc so the condo can serve both you and your ex as a source of income/appreciation to aid for that in the future (M buys condo (C) that generates M'). (to make it tighly bound up, both of you could sign it over to your child and be guardians until coming of age etc)

Any costs incured from the condo become tax deductions and that includes running it at a slight loss (in Australia we have the concept of negative gearing etc) - IOW any work income by you can have its tax liability reduced due to the condo being an ongoing business etc.

As such, you 'downsize' to a smaller place, cheaper rent, but maintain the asset that is generating some income in some way and/or is appreciating its value over time. (the rent goes back into paying the morgage to start with)

Short term there is 'suffering' but long term there can be a benefit for the 'kid'. So something to think about ;-)

The idea is to take some adverse situation, that is REACTIVE, and turn it to being PROACTIVE.

Now you may *really* need to sell and break the ties and thats fine but with an asset in real estate it can be used to buy more assets etc etc etc such that the short term sufferings can be benficial over the long term...

You seem to have the skills to 'cultivate', to focus attention and manage things so there is an opportunity here to do just that and profit over the long term - but of course that depends on how willing your ex is to get involved business wise! - focus attention on the benefits for the 'kid' etc

Note how all of the above covers the notion of 'seeding' (43) and of persuation/seduction (44) and so of being cultivating etc.

Cultivating (wind) associates a LACK OF TRUST IN OTHERS and how to deal with it; constant supervision/communication etc; formal contracts etc to allow for shared investment and development - when profit starts to appear (cash or more properties) you can THEN sell the condo and break all ties with the ex.

 

[luz]

Great reading, Chris... shows you're not just another pretty face!

 

[seeker]

Yes, that was pretty good. He would never agree to rent it, the whole point is he wants his money now, and neither of us can afford to buy the other out. But you make a good point about cultivating and about reinvesting. The two options I have are, sell now and split the profit and be done, or continue to live there, pay all bills and fees associated with it, and when I sell in the future, say 3-5 years, he gets half the accumulated equity minus the bills and fees I have paid in the meantime. In other words, I increase the value, but he gets a share of that increase. So in regards to what you said above, one of the things that occurred to me is that I am paying for an investment that he will share in without his contributing anything further. If I could sell and move somewhere else, he would get half the current equity, but I could then get a new place where I could build equity that I would not have to share with him. Its the difference of his getting a share now of something that he contributed to, or his later getting a greater share without contributing anything additional to it. Maybe its petty, but he has profitted throughout our entire marriage from my hard work and good sense. It does not seem right for him to continue to profit from it now.

 

[luz]

Seeker,

You can also ask him to give you his equity (or part of it) in lieu of future child support payments. That might work for both of you, you secure those payments and keep the apartment. And he won't have to worry about those payments...

What Chris suggested also was to rent this place, which means it would pay for itself and find another place for you. The problem I see with buying into a new place is coming up with money up front for the downpayment, etc. If you only rent... it might be a good solution, IF real estate prices keep going up... Where I live the prices have gone way up, I don't think they can continue to do that forever..

 

[cal val]

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>

You can also ask him to give you his equity (or part of it) in lieu of future child support payments.<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>I don't think there's a court in the US that would go for that. With my approval, my ex tried to waive visitation in lieu of child support. And the court said no way it would deny my child her support... that it was beneficial to the child both financially and emotionally. I'm so glad the judge made that determination. He turned out to be a good father and visited her a lot, and his support made her life easier than it might have been.

Property and child support are two totally different issues and shouldn't be co-mingled.

Love,

Val

 

[jte]

"But what do I do, sell or not? 56.3 to 35."

"Maybe its petty, but he has profitted throughout our entire marriage from my hard work and good sense. It does not seem right for him to continue to profit from it now."

Gonna connect the dots here, Seek? What's anger and what's common sense? What's the "right" thing to do? Won't vindictiveness go cold pretty quickly if you find you sat yourself down on a flagpole?

In other words, are you sure you wanna deal with getting a new place while you're trying to switch careers, raise your daughter, and find a new love interest... sounds like a lot to juggle...

"I asked in regards to the condo, what now? 51.1.5 to 45." He's probably going to make an attempt to force you to sell the place. Maybe court action or some such thing if words won't do the trick. It'll be stressful, but you'll deal...

My 2 cents,

- Jeff

 

[seeker]

A lot of this has already been looked at. I offered to take the property in lieu of child support (its rare, but our county will allow it in certain cases), in fact, before we got attorneys that was our agreement. Then after talking to his attorney, and with influence from his mother, he backed out. As far as renting vs buying, rent here is really high. I actually pay less for my mortgage than I did for my rent. My husband lives in low income housing and pays more for rent than I do for my mortgage, even with the latest increase. The down payment is also not a problem. We made a large down payment and property values have increased dramatically, so I will get a good size down payment from selling this place, even after giving him his share, plus my father said he would supplement if needed. The problem I am finding is that it works both ways, I get more for my property because of the increase in values, but I also have to pay more to get a new place.

Jeff, if you're right then Yi is just defining the situation rather than answering the question. He is already trying to force me to sell. I'm just starting to see that that might not be a bad option but I need to see what is available before making up my mind. Thanks for all the help and input.