45.3.6 to 33 is it about me or about him? please help

[petra33]

Dear all,
I had a few dates with what seemed to be a really nice guy to know. But now I am pretty sure he is running away.. We met by chance: I was having a dinner with some female friends and he was with another male friend for a few drinks. We started to talk all together and at the end of the night he asked for my number.
He lives and works one hour from my city and he was doing a master between my city and a village close by. During the weekend he is always back to his city. Long story short, he is a really busy person (who commutes a lot) and right now I am travelling and working a lot. But we managed to have a few dates. And they were great. We also got physical. We confessed each other we did not expect to have such good time. Actually, he said that first and he said he wanted to keep seeing me..
We keep in touch by text and we do not use social media to communicate (also because I said have issues with privacy, as I have had problems with stalkers on our first date. Therefore, we did not exchange Facebook).
I was off town for 2 weeks and we did not see for 3 weeks, promising to see each other while I was back. Now I am back for about a month and I text him I am back. He keeps asking me about my plans and how my things are going, he talks about his day and such and such but when it is time to set up for a date, he disappeared for hours, texting back keeping asking questions about me. It is like he keeps the conversation open, but does not really want to make another date really happening. He invited me to visit him several times, but before I left for my last travel, he said he was too busy and we needed to wait for when I was back. Also, he wanted to know what I was doing abroad and when I was back (so, I thought he was sincere).
Now I am back. So, yesterday, he asked me what plans I had for this weekend and when I said I did not have any plan and I was "open to suggestions", he disappeared again for hours, texting back after saying what he was doing, without inviting me. Then again asking me about my trip and talking about the weather, sending kisses.. I was really disappointed, not because "he has a life", but because he left me wait for an answer he could give me shortly and directly. It was like 8pm (not sleeping time). But I text back "it sounds like a good plan. Have fun darling. Good night." I did not reply to his other questions. And I thought it's enough for me. His response was short and quick (I think pretending to don't understand I could be upset): "night night! x"
He is not my boyfriend and it is too early to talk about relationship. But I think this is the usual scenario for a lot of women. He gets scared of commitment and he runs away. And doesn't have the guts to tell you. What confuse me it's the fact that he keeps the conversation open. He doesn't just reply to my texts, but he also keeps asking about me and what I am doing etc etc and I am not always the first to text.
So, I think I am stopping to text or reply, because it is becoming a stressful situation and it is a game I don't really enjoy to play. Unless he changes his behaviour. And I am wondering "What he is going to do from now"? I asked the same question to the I Ching and the answer is 45.3.6 to 33
This cast seems to be a picture of me, rather than tells me what I can aspect from him. I tried to get closer (45), I exposed myself upsetting myself (45.3), I am going to stop any contact to him because it is time to be strong and I know that is the only way to see if he wants to really know me (45.6); therefore I do a step backwards because, apparently, it is not the right time for this (33).
Any chance it is referring to him? And what it means? The question was just about his behaviour towards me. My decision is taken (it is a really intense time of my life and I need someone that at least make a little effort to know me and who lets me do the same with him with serenity).
Please, put some light on it. If the cast is just about me, the I ching doesn't want to give me his opinion .. Or it just approved my attitude towards this situation (?): like "you don't have anything else to do about it. Just wish for the best, but later on"
But if it is about him, what it says? I judged him too quickly, he is just insecure and my silence is going to make him even more insecure? .. I don't really see it realistic.. Or maybe because 45 and 33 are anthitetical, it just confirms me he is stuck, anable to take a decision about us right now? But still, the question was about his actions, not his feelings (feelings change every minutes in these kind of situations).
Any thoughts about this cast, please?
Thanks anyway and all the best to all.

 

[moss elk]

From what you've described about his behaviour, he obviously likes you (or he wouldn't keep sending messages), it very well may not be commitment he is afraid of, but rather: rejection.
(yes ladies, some big strong handsome men are tender cupcakes on the inside.)

45 > 33
(line 3 someone is whining
line 6 someone is crying)

Is he Gathering/Preparing to Run Away every time he communicates with you?
Start asking him about his previous relationships, you may find the reasons for his unusual behaviour.

And as to the question of:
is the answer about him or me?
this is why it is best to ask questions of advice for you, to keep it simple and avoid complex confusion.

 

[petra33]

Dear Moss Elk,
thank you very much for your answer.
Now, I get insecure. Is it possible he likes me so much to get stuck?!
I do not know.
Also, at this point, I am not sure if there is another woman. At first, I was sure he was single, but maybe I am wrong. Maybe he keeps texting me to have someone to play with while he is in my city. But then, I do not explain why he asked me to visit him at his city several times (since the beginning), or to go to public events together such as concerts, ballet or cinema (but then we stopped seeing each other because of his job and my trip)...
Though, everyone has his issues about relationships... Maybe he is scared to open up more?... I do not know. He is getting really passive. I guess I cannot be too direct or he is going to get scared, feeling like pushed to a corner.

But you are right I should ask for advice for myself. But I am always scared to misinterpret the answer and to do something wrong. So I preferred to ask about his actions to be ready to react properly.

Anyway, thanks a lot for your interpretation of my cast. I hope there is still a chance to really know this guy, then.

All the best to you and to all

 

[diamanda]

What he is going to do from now? 45.3.6 > 33
Since you are not yet crying about him, and for sure he won't ever cry about you by the looks of it, this means that his purpose is to continue playing you till he brings you to a point to cry rivers over him - and only then he will retreat for good (i.e. no text messages anymore).

He gets scared of commitment and he runs away

I believe this is a misconception. Not wanting commitment doesn't mean the person is "scared" of it.

it very well may not be commitment he is afraid of, but rather: rejection

I don't see how this could apply in this case, as petra has not rejected him at all, on the contrary.

Petra I'm sorry to say this but this guy obviously doesn't want anything substantial with you.
And because of the answer, I believe the only purpose of his continued text messages but no meeting is to force you to end it with him, rather than he having to tell you in so many words.

 

[petra33]

Wow diamanda!
Thanks a lot for your reading!... To be honest you scared me a little bit (ohi-ohi!)
To be honest I do not see him so bad. But previous experience thought me that men can even act worse to do not be the one to put the word "end"...
Your readings are so different.. One is a bit too optimistic, and one really catastrophic (I don't want to cry, unless it is for pure joy!)..
So, I did another cast to make my mind a bit clear.

What I should do in order to get a real romantic relationship (with him)?
27.2.4 > 38
mmm it suggests to fulfil my needs, maybe talking to him (27),
to think more about how to start the relationship rather than the relationship itself (27.2)
and to put myself and my standard first, probably having a stronger/aggressive attitude (27.4)
because there are different positions that cannot meet half way (38)
or
maybe it says to talk to express my needs (27)
going step by step not obsessing myself with the goal of relationship, like it is too early to talk about it now (27.2)
and to be more assertive and selfish about my values (27.4)
without forgetting to flirt more to create the right sparkle to build up a proper couple (38).. At the end, men are from Mars and women are from Venus..
I am not happy with my readings, to be honest.
I am a bit clueless and in any way it looks like a lot of job to do...
It could be worth it if he feels something for me..
So (even though I avoided to ask it so far), I asked
How he feels about me? 26.1.6>46
And that is even more unexpected, as it seems pretty good. It doesn't even match his behaviour of the last weeks..
I mean, line 26.1 yes... The rest a bit less..
26 can say he likes me a lot but he doesn't want to "go
for it" because he thinks the situation is too difficult to be handled 26.1
but there is a chance that he wants to overcome his fears and let his feeling growing for me and to express them to me, because at the and it is yes a risky thing but the right thing too (26.6),
Therefore he is about to let them progress little by little (46) despite his concerns (26)

What do you think?
27.2.4>38 is pretty obscure to me..
and 26.1.6>46 seems a bit too optimistic and a bit in contradiction related to 45.3.6>33

Thanks for your time and all the best anyway.

 

[petra33]

sorry the second half of my text doesn't appear complite.
I copy and paste here the secon part of the message

How he feels about me?
26.1.6> 46
And that is even more unexpected, as it seems pretty good. It doesn't even match his behaviour of the last weeks..
I mean, line 26.1 yes... The rest a bit less..
26 can say he likes me a lot but he doesn't want to "go
for it" because he thinks the situation is too difficult to be handled 26.1
but there is a chance that he wants to overcome his fears and let his feeling growing for me and to express them to me, because at the and it is yes a risky thing but the right thing too (26.6),
Therefore he is about to let them progress little by little (46) despite his concerns (26)

What do you think?
27.2.4>38 is pretty obscure to me..
and 26.1.6>46 seems a bit too optimistic and a bit in contradiction related to 45.3.6>33

Thanks for your time and all the best anyway.

 

[diamanda]

Dear Petra, sorry if you felt scared by what I wrote.

If the possibility that he doesn’t want a relationship with you scares you, then I don’t think you should be doing any readings about him at all. It's very dangerous for our mental health to do readings where we only want one particular type of answer and can't accept anything else.

Sorry to say this but sadly I don’t see anything positive in your readings.

What I should do in order to get a real romantic relationship (with him)? 27.2.4 > 38
27.2 – seeking nourishment in the wrong kind of place, advance is inauspicious.
27.4 – seeking nourishment anywhere and everywhere with insatiable desire.
38 – going separate ways
No matter which way I look at this, a romantic relationship with him doesn’t sound possible.
Perhaps you are seeking ‘nourishment’ from him and he’s wrong for you, and he’s looking for ‘nourishment’ everywhere around him like a tiger hungry for prey. Doesn’t sound like a good match. 38 is not “a proper couple”, it’s two people going in opposite directions.

How he feels about me? 26.1.6 > 46
26 means taming of a large animal. In this case the ‘taming’ has been concluded from a to z (lines 1 and 6), there is no more taming to be done. So he feels he completely conquered you. 46 in relationships usually means getting over someone.

I do hope I'm wrong, but if not I wish you to find someone new and compatible very soon!

 

[petra33]

Thanks a lot di amanda.
What scared me was the intention to play with me until making me to cry.. I wanted to know him better. The beginning was promising and I was honestly oriented for something serious. Having a look at the bigger picture, the best thing to do is to retreat as I wanted to do since the first cast, forgetting about him for the moment. If he will come back, I will consider the thing from another point of view.
It is the wiser thing to do.
Thanks a lot for your time.