49.2>43 Afer a breakup

[misswasabi]

Hello everyone,

After some months struggling with a distant relationship, I decided to call it quits. It was awful. Even though I've had countless occasions to do it, we were doing ok lately, and we were supposed to meet tomorrow and spend a couple of weeks together, I decided to leave him today. It felt unfair, cruel and out of the blue, but I thought it would be even more difficult to do it after having spend more time together and becoming more attached. I love him madly, but it was clear to me that it was a toxic relationship, so I think it I would have done it anyway sooner or later. the problem is the feeling of guilt, which only worsens everything. I left him by email; wouldn't have had the guts to do it on the phone. Didn't get any reply, and I don't think I will ever get one, knowing him. But I asked the iching two questions:

Which is the state of the situation right know? (maybe a stupid question)
I got 49 unchanging

Then I asked: will we ever meet again?

Got 49.2.43

I never get hexagram 49. I know it's about things changing, a revolution. But in this particular context, I can't even work out whether it is a positive answer or not.
I hope someone can give me more insight with that. I'm really desperate to fins something to hold on to.

Many thanks

 

[diamanda]

Sorry to hear you're going through so much emotional pain misswasabi.

Which is the state of the situation right now? 49 unchanging
49 means revolution, changing. It's a type of change that is inevitable, like when a snake sheds its skin - it doesn't do it consciously, it just needs to happen because this is its nature. In your case, it was inevitable that at some point everything would change, because the situation simply couldn't continue the way it was. As you yourself said, you would have done it anyway sooner or later. On top of this, 49 is about two women, so I wonder if a significant factor of the toxicity that you mentioned has to do with another woman being involved here.

will we ever meet again? 49.2 > 43
49.2 says that when the right day comes, something/someone is removed/changed, and also that "attack is lucky, no blame". 43 shows being resolute in a decision. So I believe this addresses your feeling of guilt about having done something so abruptly. Because of both 49 and 43, I believe that very soon you will fully feel that you did the correct thing, and you won't want to meet him anymore.