50.1.2.3.4-27. Best Approach?

[Lodestar]

Hi, found out I've to work very closely with someone on a short project who has been very rude and disrespectful to me in the past. I find them arrogant, obnoxious really.. the type who won't let you speak.I consider two options:
1: Amp it up myself and don't allow them to dominate. 2: Sit back let them dominate away and daydream..
To be honest 1 won't happen, I tried before doesn't work with people with infinite energy and stories about themselves, I'm definitely veering toward no.2.

However this is a good lesson for me as I was completely dominated by my mother and sisters growing up and I'm working working working on trying to get the pattern of domineering disrespectful dynamics out of my life.

I asked what is my best way of dealing with this person, to protect myself and get the job done in as pleasant a way as possible? I'm not sure what the reading is telling me..

50.1.2.3.4 - 27 the vessel - nourishment
.4 seems very discouraging..

 

[peter2610]

OK, the I Ching is seeking to guide you here with an answer that applies not only to this situation with your "colleague" but can be applied to life in general. The central issue here isn't one of him dominating you or you dominating him, it is one of you maintaining a true relationship with yourself in which you sustain your sense of self, calmly and gently without any needs. You do not need to control him neither do you allow him to control you, if he is rude and abrasive simply try as far as possible to simply continue to show him that you cannot be disturbed very easily.
There are indications here that your impression of the guy could be wrong, both Hex 50 and Hex 27 are concerned with how we formulate our thought processes and nourish/malnourish ourselves with the thoughts that we generate. First yin is urging you to remove "stagnating stuff" - wrong attitudes that have become established unconsciously. "One takes a concubine for the sake of her son" - be open, accept a difficult situation for the sake of the promise it might hold.
The parallel nuclear progression (43,1,2,3,4,5 - 2) is urging you to be careful, not to go blasting-in with an incorrect attitude. Try to approach this with an open attitude, give him the benefit of letting-go of any negative baggage. Good luck.

 

[Lodestar]

Thanks so much for your reply Peter, great!
Yes I knew there was definitely a lot of anxiety on my part - about being able to cope with the situation, I'm working on literally ignoring what is going on around me in my life, trying not to analyse it too much, just analyse my feelings and give myself the support I need to feel safe. It's a new tactic for me, but it's working, I guess in posting this I was feeling a lot of doubt about my boundaries, but thanks so much for your interpretation, it fits perfectly! :bows:

 

[Tim K]

I would like to add some details
1. Yes, remove old attitudes.
2. 'Sticks and stones will break my bones, But words will never harm me'.
Outer activity can't hurt you if you concentrate on cooking what's inside the pot. Your thoughts and emotions are safe inside.

3. Warning about not to pay too much attention to the outside. If you do - the cooking will stop, until you go back inside.

4. Again, more serious warning. If you loose the legs - which separate you from the ground/world - all your emotions and thoughts will spill out.

Transform your attitude, keep calm and cook while humming some cool tune to yourself.

 

[Lodestar]

I love the idea of cooking and humming a tune!!!

 

[peter2610]

Thanks so much for your reply Peter, great!
I'm working on literally ignoring what is going on around me in my life, trying not to analyse it too much, just analyse my feelings and give myself the support I need to feel safe. It's a new tactic for me, but it's working, I guess in posting this I was feeling a lot of doubt about my boundaries, but thanks so much for your interpretation, it fits perfectly! :bows:

Yes, that's the right approach. Be aware of the various situations in your life but try, as far as possible, to maintain a balanced approach. Don't allow troublesome situations to invade your innermost sense of self, don't become fervently preoccupied with them or they will. If you rightfully belong in a situation then you have a responsibility and personal duty to fulfil it as best you can but don't become "possessed" by it. The more balanced your approach, the more accurate and effective will be your insight. There are limits and boundaries to all things but to those who suffer always be prepared to be generous.

The I Ching's guidance in all this is invaluable. If it gives guidance that is somewhat perplexing, don't worry. It will eventually be fulfilled at a level we have not yet seen.