54.1.4 to 7 I have trouble with both of the Hexagrams!

[mariah kaze]

Ok, I've come to a stopping point in my daily reading because I can find nothing on this combination to help me.

First of all, the marrying maiden thing has always scared me because it means I've gotten myself into a "subordinate" position in someway. When I get this Hex a lot of the time one of my girlfriends will show up and we'll have a long talk about something they have on their minds. I also hook into the "no direction is fruitful" and immediately assume that I've gotten an answer that I "don't like". Let me qualify my questioning by this one fact: I do not ever intend to marry this man or any other man. I see no need at this stage of my life to be married in the legal sense. Like many older people, it would be a distinct disadvantage for me to marry because I would be financially diminished by rem-marriage. I only intend to live with him "as if" we are married.

So, my question was: "what in reality, would life with Dave be like?"

Now does this say that I have to be discrete in public with him but that things will eventually come together? Does it say that his womanizing will always lead to war between us? Does it say that nothing furthers me in this relationship and I'm better off sticking to group activites?

So back to basics. What do each of these Hexagrams have as their "theme" and how have I missed the boat here? :bows:

 

[simon ian]

Consult again, but drop the word "reality"
It may well be muddying the water.
You may get a very different result!

 

[willowfox]

It really doesn't look that welcoming, for a start you will be at a disadvantage in the relationship , as it shows you will be in a weak position as regards to this man. And secondly I feel it is advising you to think twice about this guy as he doesn't sound like the right sort of chappie for you or your future happiness.

Hex 7 could well indicate a very authoritarian person who could end up controlling your every move.

 

[mariah kaze]

Consult again, but drop the word "reality"
It may well be muddying the water.
You may get a very different result!

Ok, did as you advised and got
25.1,2,6 changing to 47.

I think this falls right into willowfox reply. I need to take a long second look at this from a much more objective perspective. I'm invested in doing what is for the higher good of all here and not very interested in having what I "want" from the outcome.

 

[mariah kaze]

It really doesn't look that welcoming, for a start you will be at a disadvantage in the relationship , as it shows you will be in a weak position as regards to this man. And secondly I feel it is advising you to think twice about this guy as he doesn't sound like the right sort of chappie for you or your future happiness.

Aha! you have upon exactly my sense of "dis-ease" with this man. I keep getting "it is not yours to dominate" . We've had some conflict over him "ordering me around" already.

Hex 7 could well indicate a very authoritarian person who could end up controlling your every move.

My father was like that so it's no surprise to me that that kind of man is the kind of man I always pick. This is doubly reinforced by the striking physical resemblance this guy bears to my father. Part of what I'm trying to do with this man is "do it differently" than I have conducted relationships before. I am stubborn, willful and hard-headed. I am that woman in "Coming to Meet", I think for him. I constantly surprise the guy by the way I think. He's got a low opinion of women and does not respect their intelligence. I do not fit the mold for him - and he's intrigued by it - which is exciting but not very viable long term, I think. He won't change and I'm not at all sure that the battle won't cost more to win than it will be worth in the long run. When I ask what is the future of this relationship it comes of 8.5 changing to 2 and has for weeks now. Is this saying he's receptive to holding together rather than for me to be?

 

[cutiecat]

Hi!
This is slightly off the topic of Yi reafinds per se, and it's my intuition
more than logic talking here, so bear it in mind please.

I actually can totally empathize with your issues here 'cause I myself was
very much subconciously attracted my dad's type.
On it's own it's not good or bad. But look how you describe this guy-
he holds women in low-esteem, he has no respect for them, he is shocked
by your strength and etc. Are you trying to prove something to your dad,
I wonder. Do you feel with this guy as a dutiful daughter (54?) as opposed to an equal
partner? May be you attracted this person to finally figure something about your
relationship with your dad, or even rebel, be free and unoppresed finaly, even
near a father-like figure? May be this relationship is about your dad and you,
and this guy is just a random facilitator?

Sorry if I'm way off.

-CC

 

[mariah kaze]

Hi!
This is slightly off the topic of Yi reafinds per se, and it's my intuition
more than logic talking here, so bear it in mind please.

I actually can totally empathize with your issues here 'cause I myself was
very much subconciously attracted my dad's type.
On it's own it's not good or bad. But look how you describe this guy-
he holds women in low-esteem, he has no respect for them, he is shocked
by your strength and etc. Are you trying to prove something to your dad,
I wonder. Do you feel with this guy as a dutiful daughter (54?) as opposed to an equal
partner? May be you attracted this person to finally figure something about your
relationship with your dad, or even rebel, be free and unoppresed finaly, even
near a father-like figure? May be this relationship is about your dad and you,
and this guy is just a random facilitator?
-CC

Hi! I can see that I'm not going to be able to keep one single thing secret here am I? LOL. You are amazingly perceptive. Am I trying to prove something to Dad? Possibly. He's been gone a number of years now but you know what they say, "new relationships bring up old demons" and that's precisely who I had in mind when I asked the question about offerings and sacrifices toward our ancestors. I am pretty sure that my dad would NOT approve of this relationship .... but I never had one he did approve of so? I'll disclose a bit more to you because I'm feeling pretty safe in this forum.

My dad was a lying, cheating son-of-a-bitch that dumped my mom for another woman whom he also cheated on. I've been through a lot of therapy over this but I may not be finished yet. Dave is also a lying, cheating son-of-a-bitch. I sent him on his way in a nasty scene where I "gave him away" to his other girlfriend telling her he was a lying piece of **** and that she was a piece of **** too. Since then, she has broken up with him too and he has gone home to his wife of 25 years whom he claims to be divorcing but really is not, so far. His wife stays with him because of her children (grown) and needing him to support her. She has her own life and does not care what he does as long as he does not bother her for sex.

The battle here has been between the girlfriend and me and not the wife. I don't care if he's married but I have been unreasonably jealous over the other girlfriend. How's that for blind-siding yourself? I type this out and feel how sick it all sounds. And it is. I've extracted myself physically from the situation but as you see, I'm still hung up on him, - or is it just stubbornness and wanting to win? I never did win my dad back from my step-mother. Could it be that simple?


Sorry if I'm way off.

-CC[/QUOTE]


You're definitely not far off!

 

[cutiecat]

Hi!
This is slightly off the topic of Yi reafinds per se, and it's my intuition
more than logic talking here, so bear it in mind please.

I actually can totally empathize with your issues here 'cause I myself was
very much subconciously attracted my dad's type.
On it's own it's not good or bad. But look how you describe this guy-
he holds women in low-esteem, he has no respect for them, he is shocked
by your strength and etc. Are you trying to prove something to your dad,
I wonder. Do you feel with this guy as a dutiful daughter (54?) as opposed to an equal
partner? May be you attracted this person to finally figure something about your
relationship with your dad, or even rebel, be free and unoppresed finaly, even
near a father-like figure? May be this relationship is about your dad and you,
and this guy is just a random facilitator?

Sorry if I'm way off.

-CC

Just to clarify about you previous post. Only these are my words, you quoted more
than my post. You may've put your words in the quotes.

Otherwise, wow! Thank you for sharing all this, I somehow think it will do you good.

I'm not a psychologist of any sort, so I do no feel I have any right to advise you
on this subject. But yes to answer your question I think this could be that simple.

If you feel like it I can PM you some intuitive suggestions.

Thank you for sharing your life!

-CC

 

[mariah kaze]

Just to clarify about you previous post. Only these are my words, you quoted more
than my post. You may've put your words in the quotes.

Otherwise, wow! Thank you for sharing all this, I somehow think it will do you good.

I'm not a psychologist of any sort, so I do no feel I have any right to advise you
on this subject. But if you feel like Pm me, and may be I can share some intuitive
thoughts of mine.

Thank you for sharing your life!

-CC

I think I fixed it? The editor is not the simplest here How do I pm you? I'll peck around the site some more and find you, I think. Thanks so much. I already feel better

 

[willowfox]

When I ask what is the future of this relationship it comes of 8.5 changing to 2

The advice here is don't allow yourself to fall into a trap, run as fast as you can away from this guy.

 

[mariah kaze]

The advice here is don't allow yourself to fall into a trap, run as fast as you can away from this guy.

I have been. He keeps coming back. Three times now, I've told him I'm done - but I haven't "really" meant it. It's time to really mean it and let it go. You all bear with me as my claw marks shred the wall

Thank you for your kindness.

 

[willowfox]

Then you are like the creatures mentioned in line 8.5 who willing give themselves up to be slaughtered.

 

[citty]

8.5 is usually portrayed as auspicious. Why is it a trap here? Because he doen't have any respect for women and this is a strong woman?