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57.1.2.4.5.6 (57>55) relationship

pooja123

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I have been on a on and off relationship (6 months) with a man older than me by 20 years. He is a very complicated man and he has been divorced twice. We started as **** buddies. Pardon my french!. But feelings grew stronger. Everything was so good until one day , I asked about his true feelings towards me . He said he was developing feelings but he was not comfortable . he wanted us to be casual . I decided to take a break from him for 20 days with zero communication. i wanted to sort my feelings and the disappointment. After which I texted him to him that I am fine and that I am sorry if I was pushy. It took him a couple of days to respond to me. He told me he wasn't sleeping well. mentally and physically exhausted regarding his own personal and business life. He is an expatriate living in my country and he has his businesses worldwide. Just yesterday he texted me saying that he had to fly to another country to attend some matters and will return after 5 days. He asked me to be good while he is away. I am hoping for a proper love relationship. At least he should open up slowly. I don't want to push him. I asked Ying,What is his next plan of action regarding his relationship with me.and I got this:

**57.1.2.4.5.6 (57 > 55)

****The formation**57 - Answer*One goes after being approached.

** *57.1 - One gives the youngest ones some time to finish the preparation. Then, one shows them their weaknesses and answers their requests for explanation.

** *57.2 - When the feeding stops, all get organized to exit.

** *57.4 - One prepares explanations for their friends so that they can come back.

** *57.5 - One must warn others because an unexpected event has occurred and one needs to respond to the demands on time.

** *57.6 - Leaving to not succumb.

***In the making**55 - To manage*One prepares to meet requests. After a study, decisions will be applied and checked. Unreasonable requests will be ignored.*

My guess is that, he wants to try again, a slow and steady courtship where the outcome would be a long term relationship.I believe it would be slow like the king of pentacles. Did I get the interpretation right or am I just being hopeful?
 

Trojina

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My guess is that, he wants to try again, a slow and steady courtship where the outcome would be a long term relationship.I believe it would be slow like the king of pentacles. Did I get the interpretation right or am I just being hopeful?

:confused: nothing in his behaviour says that at all.

We started as **** buddies. Pardon my french!. But feelings grew stronger. Everything was so good until one day , I asked about his true feelings towards me . He said he was developing feelings but he was not comfortable . he wanted us to be casual

:rolleyes: great, so he wants to be casual and have the odd fcuk. If you have feelings he doesn't want to know.

I decided to take a break from him for 20 days with zero communication. i wanted to sort my feelings and the disappointment. After which I texted him to him that I am fine and that I am sorry if I was pushy

:confused: I can't imagine what you thought you were apologising for ? For wanting to be treated than something than a thing ?


. It took him a couple of days to respond to me.

Showing he doesn't care about how you feel if he leaves it that long.



He told me he wasn't sleeping well. mentally and physically exhausted regarding his own personal and business life.

Oh poor man :rolleyes: he's just trying to get you to back off.

I am hoping for a proper love relationship.

Letting him use you like a thing who is allowed no feelings isn't a way to get a proper love relationship and I don't think you will get one off him !


I asked Ying,What is his next plan of action regarding his relationship with me.and I got this:

**57.1.2.4.5.6 (57 > 55)

Well looking at what he is doing he is avoiding you, making excuses to stay away and trying to de-escalate the relationship. You have all you need to know about him by looking at what he is doing surely ?


Do you really need to ask the I Ching ?

He asked me to be good while he is away
Why ? You aren't 5 years old, hopefully.


I asked Ying,What is his next plan of action regarding his relationship with me.and I got this:

**57.1.2.4.5.6 (57 > 55)

This doesn't look like a plan it looks like blowing in the wind with whatever comes next. Frankly I think you already had the best of this (55) and if you go on as you are being so accommodating, apologising for being treated like crap and ready to take any little crumb he offers he will just continue to string you along for as long as it's convenient I guess.


I think this is horrible and advise you try to get out of it and find a relationship that actually starts as a relationship. There isn't really such a thing as 'fcukbuddy' there's a woman pretending she can separate her mind from her body and have no feelings and a man milking it or doing the same as she is. If you want a proper loving relationship fcukbuddying isn't the route to it I don't think.


Besides he's an old man compared to you. Try to develop some sense of self worth around this as your excessively accommodating attitude, leaves you open to exploitation. He's the lucky one, he has someone 20 years younger when he wants her. You however can do better than this old man who doesn't know how to have a loving relationship and runs away with feeble pathetic excuses the moment you show any feelings. You are worth so much more than this, really you are.

Can you not see how infantilising this is

. Just yesterday he texted me saying that he had to fly to another country to attend some matters and will return after 5 days. He asked me to be good while he is away

Seriously ? He didn't even ring you he texted ? Why would you hang around for him. Hanging around waiting to see if he develops feelings for you is possibly the most wasteful use of the life you have. The good news is you've only been in this 6 months so it shouldn't be too hard to turn your attention to relationships that show some potential for actual love. What he shows you is not love.


Also you don't need to ask more questions because his behaviour alone speaks volumes don't you think ?
 

pooja123

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My short explanations seem to cast him in bad light. I cant share the whole 6 months history of what how it was being with him. We started out as friends way before (phone calls, emails etc included), it was only the last 6 months we became friends with benefits. Basically the 6 months of sexual relationship. anyway, Thanks Trojina for the honest opinion. I cast another reading. To find out if he wants me off his back. Is he really avoiding me etc.Yi answered Hex 55 unchanged. (i'm still clueless about this though)then I cast another question"Should I leave this relationship" and Yi's answer, 43.3 to 58.I think it resonates what Trojina had mentioned,43.3 is asking me to cut off the ties if he doesn't share the same vision as in having a fulfilling relationshipand the transformation hex 58 shows that i will be focusing more on loving myself. Which is what is happening for the past one month, I have been celibate and the break from him (not seeing him for 30 days now, although we do text now and then), opened my eyes to not spread myself to thin when it comes to expectations regarding love. And that I will be able to embrace a new love that is more nourishing.Would appreciate
 

pooja123

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to be honest minutes after i posted the first question, I tried to re edit the information, becoz I have been friends with him more than a year. we were not even close friends because I seldom see him as his work requires him to travel alot. For me 6 months looked a lot more validating in giving information pertaining to the question. Tried to edit but my wifi is so damn slowwww. Im not trying to give excuses. its the truth!
 

pooja123

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ok so another interpertation to 43.3 is that I should have a talk first with him, once he is back. then see if he shares the same vision.
 

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