58.3.6. to 1 Trying to find the source of my indecison...

[dooberry]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on the forum, I've been checking out the site and reading alot of the other shared readings and feel that many of you have some good, objective insight to give.

So, here's some background on my situation: I am torn between 2 men, one who I have been in a relationship with for almost 4 years (we will call him Mr. X) and the other who I have known for about 4 months and met while out of state for the past year (we'll call him Mr. Y). I recently moved back to my home with Mr. X after seeing Mr.Y for a few months on the basis of not being sure who I want to be with as there are pro's and con's about each, but nothing so bad as to be a deal breaker with either. In fact, I'd say that they are both great guys, each in their own way.

My reason for going back to Mr.X was that the 4 year relationship "felt safe", yet I cannot stop thinking about Mr. Y as there seems to be more of a connection between us. In the meantime, I had been keeping in contact with Mr.Y for the past month that I have been back home until finally, Mr. Y said that he couldn't bear to keep going on like this as it was to painful for him emotionally and that he wished to give me the space I needed to gain some clarity and make a decision between the two of them.

In an effort to understand what is going on and how I can make a good decision between the two I asked the I-ching this question:

"Please help me to understand the basis of my indecision between Mr. X and Mr. Y?"

What I got was hex. 58 with moving lines 3 and 6.

So, the basis of my indecision is Joy/Empowerment? That's kind of baffling and I could really read into this a number of ways. My interpretation is that I am trying to find happiness but may be going about it the wrong way (although I can't say that I feel unhappy about my life, except maybe in regards to this situation). Or that there is something for me to learn about myself here.

Line 6 says: "Don't let thrill seeking comrades divert you from true joy"

I kind of take that literally, yet can't seem to discern which one of them is the "thrill seeking comrade"... Oh, the subtleties!

And then it changes to hex. 1Creativity and honestly, I really don't know what to make of that.

Anyway, I'd really appreciate any objective insight that you all could give me on my reading....

Thanks

 

[ginnie]

Pleasure comes from other people and the outside world, but true joy springs from within. Ignoring that, sometimes we evaluate the people we know according to how great we feel when we're with them. It's a huge conundrum -- the outer stimulation that comes from circumstances and other people provides us with very strong sensations, so it's easy to forget that joy only springs from sources deep within ourselves. It seems that Yi is drawing your attention to this puzzler. Line 58.3 speaks of anticipating pleasures that may not materialize, sort of like counting your chickens before the eggs have hatched. And Line 58.6 speaks of superficial joys and allurements that would make no appeal to an evolved individual. Having gotten these lines myself on occasion, I know how they can leave one scratching one's head and not comprehending. I think that's because Yi knows the future and we don't.

 

[dooberry]

Thank you for your insight on this Ginnie, you've really made me think about some things here.

After reading what you had to say about this hexagram, I went back and took a look at it again. Indeed, I see what you are saying about idle pleasures. Lines 3 and 6 both have something to say about this, but what struck me even more this time around was what line 6 had to say about diversions. In fact, it would be safe to say that I was in a sense continuing my contact with this new man even after I came back to divert my attention from the problems I'm having in my current relationship (the problems btw, are part of the reason I left in the first place). Now that he has removed himself from the situation, these issues between me and my original guy are becoming more and more glaring.

Although line 3 does talk about idle pleasures, I don't think of the new guy as an idle pleasure... At least not anymore. Yes, initially maybe so. I thought that going out with him would be fun and exciting. I was in a different state, far from home, far from the relationship and man I've known for the past 4 years and I guess that seemed exciting to me at the time. As time went on however (especially with our daily talks which lasted hours) he no longer is an idle pleasure in my mind and I know I'm not one in his.

As far as 58 > 1... Well, I took a look at that one again too and with a better understanding of 58.3.6 it makes a little bit more sense to me now. To me the change to hex 1 says that without the diversion in my life I will be able to see the truth, understand what it is that I want and make a decision.

Of course if anyone else has some commentary on this particular hexagram, I'd love to hear your input too.