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63.1.3>8 already somewhere else?

Icecoldkitkat

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Asking about a failed relationship because of bad timing. I'm trying to make up my mind if we should stay friends. I asked 'Is his mind already with someone else?' 63.1.3>8 This seems a perfectly clear answer to 'has it happened yet' type of a question. My interpretation is - Yes, already there with someone else in mind and united. Can someone just kindly confirm or provide their knowledge. I don't think I was prepared for such answer although felt ready to move on myself. Just feels like one final 'punch in the stomach' of an emotion when having to let go of someone dear or completely change where they belong in your heart.
 

radiofreewill

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Hi Icecoldkitcat,

"Is his mind already with someone else?"
63.1.3 to 8 ~ You are wandering through Ghost Land.

There is a famous Zen story about a Master and a Monk sharing a long walk together when they come to a river crossing and find a beautiful young woman who asks for help getting to the other side? The young Monk immediately waves her off with, "No, nope, sorry, it's against the rules for us, we can't do that." But, the Master spoke up and said, "Wait, it's okay, she can just climb on my back."

So, the Master carried her across, put her down, and continued to walk with the Monk. A couple of miles later, the Monk speaks up and says, "I don't get it? The rules say 'no touching women' for us, but you did it anyway? I'm bothered by that?" To which the Master replied, "Well, you should be ~ I put her down two miles ago, but you're still carrying her?"

(Which reminds me of one of the Dalai Lama's great sayings: "In the beginning, learn the rules. This is so you can break them properly later on.")

From Field's "Duke of Zhou Changes":

63. Across the Stream
Your plea is heard. Good omen for small matters. Good fortune in the beginning, disorder in the end.

1. His wheels are dragging. It drenches its tail. No harm will come.

3. The High Ancestor attacked the Land of Ghosts, and conquered it in three years. The lowborn should not use this omen.

and

8. Alliance
Hostile countries arrived. The latecomer met with misfortune. The original cast of the stalks was superlative. The long-range prognostication is that no harm will come. Good fortune.

What you already acknowledge about your situation is that the timing hasn't been 'right' ~ you've been like a surfer who overslept and shows-up late at the beach, just when the tide is starting to go out? While you might still meet other surfers, that day's opportunities to ride the waves together are gone...

...and now you're hanging-on dreamily to what might have been, and thinking competitively about those who did show up for high tide?

The Yi says that you can spend three years living in that 'what if' space, if you're not conscious about it? That would be three years of missed high tides...

How long has it been already?

I hope this helps!
 

Icecoldkitkat

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Hey radiofreewill,Yes, thank you, that really helps. It's only been half a year of on and off awkward dance. I think he really wants to be friends and asks me for my help and opinion a lot. I also think it didn't develop because of fear (both of us). There is a very strong connection, at least from my side it feels like but maybe I'm just being played around. I keep getting life lessons where I see stuff pointing back at me giving me chance to correct my ways with people. That feels like constant progress within my own self and a lot of creative outbursts (very useful for me). He is asking me to give him guidance with his creative work. I wasn't sure how to read it - literally or is it an excuse to be nearby. I think we feed of off each other's vibes when together and it feels nice to be spending time together. So I asked 'What exactly is he asking for from me?' 27.1>23 The magic turtle's gone... I take it as it applies to both of us. Again, as you said, looking in the wrong place?Obviously, I want 'the turtle back' so asked 'How do I fix it and get the turtle back?' 12.4.5>23 Both pointing at 23! I feel like it might be me stripping my 'bad' ego. But it probably just means that our 'relationship' will fade away. What do you think?
 
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diamanda

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Is his mind already with someone else? 63.1.3 > 8
His mind no. He had sex with someone, but decided not to proceed further.

What exactly is he asking for from me? 27.1 > 23
He's soul-less and greedy and wants to destroy you.

How do I fix it and get the turtle back? 12.4.5 > 23
If you leave it up to him, and you continue to suffer, you will collapse.
 

radiofreewill

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Regarding your relationship with this man, you're getting hexagrams like 63 (It's over), 23 (Splitting apart), and 12 (Nothing happening) ~ that's a lot of red flags?

What can you tell us about him?
 

Icecoldkitkat

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Yes, I agree, radiofreewill, a lot of red flags. Diamanda, those are pretty ballsy statements but I presumed that the readings were headed that way. I sometimes feel like it's a game or a 'battle' and sometimes when we give in we both get restless. He seems a perfect mirror to me. When we met I was in a very bad condition after a long cycle of bad mental health and separation. The way he acts put me back on my tracks whether he intended to or I just bounce off of his energy. Generally, I feel grounded and in check by him which is exactly what I need from a friend or someone that I let close to me. He is a bit older than me and is just finding his path in life with his freelance and I am a mature student, very similar circumstances. I am a foreigner in his country. He is cautious and very good at keeping his emotions (apart form being explosive) in check, I suspect due to two unexpected deaths in his family few years ago. Also he has never had cohabited with a partner. Has got many friends and to be frank is a bit of a tease but his moral grounds and good. He tends to sum things up between us in a black and white fashion. I hoped we could be friends as we seem to be great together but it might be wrong for me - see the previous readings. I asked what is his role in my life - seeing all the 'suffer, collapse, destroy' words... and got 45.4>8. That seems very good. Maybe I ching is having a laugh? I feel like he cares about me and keeps in constant touch and is interested in my well being but maybe because we started off wrong he has got residual deep resentment towards me that he can't help. Thank you so much for looking into it
 
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diamanda

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Dear Icecoldkitkat, I phrased it boldly in case it hit home.

When we met I was in a very bad condition after a long cycle of bad mental health and separation.
And what he is doing to you right now is that he's keeping you in that same cycle of bad mental health and separation.

  • He is cautious and very good at keeping his emotions (apart form being explosive) in check - so the only emotion he readily gives you is anger?
  • He has never had cohabited with a partner - huge massive red flag.
  • He tends to sum things up between us in a black and white fashion.
You are describing an abnormal and mean person.

Furthermore, you want him as a partner, but it's unclear if you two can be even friends. How can you be 'friends' with someone you fancy (and who is explosive)? If you continue allowing this person to torture you, any self-esteem you may have will be destroyed and you will emotionally collapse.
 

radiofreewill

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Here's a fun 'homework' assignment for your consideration: Watch, or re-watch, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" by Ang Lee and answer for yourself the question: "Tragedy, or Triumph?"
 

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