63.3.6 > 42 - Romance Question

[prettypippy]

This is my first time to post. I would like some feedback.

I have known a guy for about a year. We have just been friends during that time, not super close friends, but he always invites me out with his friends to parties etc. There has never really been too much flirting or sexual tension or anything, but I have been aware that he was a bit of an "admirer" for sometime because he is constantly telling everyone I am wonderful etc.

Anyway, about 6 weeks ago, he got back from a month's trip away, and his attitude changed quite a lot. Suddenly, he was not only complimenting me, but trying to act on it. I couldn't take his advances seriously because my impression of him is that he is all talk and perhaps a bit of a "player". Each time he tried to make a move on me, I told him it was a bad idea because he was not serious and I would get hurt. I feel he has basically acknowledged that he is not serious.

Anyway, last weekend, it was my birthday, and after drinking too much, I "made out" with him. A couple of days later he tried to make it happen again, but I said no again for the same reason. Last night same situation and I ended up doing a lot more. I have never done that before in my entire life, i.e. been involved physically without commitment, and in my mid thirties, I can't understand why I started now. I felt really bad when I got home and I asked the I ching, "Did I do the wrong thing last night?" and I got 63.3.6 > 42.

My understanding is that 63 is saying successful completion of something and taking that something to a deeper level. Line 3 refers to something from a long time ago being conquered. And line 6 warns of the danger of looking back. Hexagram 42 offers promise if the situation is taken advantage of quickly.

I think the Yi is telling me it wasn't wrong but the successful completion of this part of the journey which has been going on for a while, and if I look back on it as a bad thing then I put myself at risk. If I can avoid looking back and enjoy the situation, it will turn out well.

That said, even though I think that is what the Yi ching is saying, I still can't help feeling like I did the wrong thing, and I am scared of getting attached to this guy if all he wants is physical. I fear that now he will get bored with me and forget about me, and that I will be left feeling like a fool.

Any thoughts?

 

[danadanadana]

Hexagram 63: After Completion:
Everything has reached a perfect balance, but the caution is that this harmony will inevitably change into dis-harmony of some kind, because that is the law of change. ANYTIME you have balance, you ALWAYS have the loss of balance to follow (period). So the oracle cautions you to be prepared for disharmony because that is always the time that follows such a sweet harmonious time that you have just experienced with your special friend.

Line 3:
The Illustrious Ancestor
Disciplines the Devil’s Country.
After three years he conquers it.
Inferior people must not be employed.
Now that you and your special friend have broken through to a new level of connection by expressing your attraction for one and other you have reached a place in your relationship where you will begin to know each other better. You may learn new things about your partner now that you are closer to him - whether you like this new information or not will influence how you proceed with the relationship.

Line 6:
He gets his head in the water. Danger.
Here the oracle advises you to let the momentum of the situation carry you forward without too much resistance into a new time and allow things to develop in your new relationship.

Changing to Hexagram 42:
THE IMAGE
Wind and thunder: the image of INCREASE.
Thus the superior man:
If he sees good, he imitates it;
If he has faults, he rids himself of them.
Nobody is perfect, not your friend, and also not you. But the oracle says that we can only do things each day to improve ourselves when we can, and that is the meaning of Increase, slow, step by step improvement allowing the new relationship to take shape as you watch each other and learn more about each other every day.

GOOD LUCK! and lets be reminded that we ALL DESERVE LOVE and we all have a lot of love to give!!

 

[prettypippy]

Hi danadanadan,

Thanks for your reply. Actually, last week I felt very negative about what happened, and reading your interpretation surprised me, as it seemed quite positive. I decided I needed to reflect a little more and not panic and make myself feel guilty for having had fun.

In terms of updates, the only thing that has happened, is about 2 days after the previous post, he contacted me to go out with him and his friends. I didn't feel that it was a special invite for me and probably he just invited all of our friends. On that particular day, I didn't really feel like dealing with all the games that we seem to play with each other, so I just responded that I had already gone home from work. I haven't heard anything from him since. Now it is a week since the last posting and since I saw him.

What I have generally been feeling most of this week, is that some of his emotions for me probably are genuine, i.e. he is not purely being a "player", but that there is definitely something stopping him from moving forward to know each other better, and I have no idea what that is. I think it is more him that has something unresolved/a block than me, and so I figured that all I can do is wait and if I keep waiting and nothing happens, then it is over.

This morning, after realising a week had gone past, I was feeling sad, and like it was all over, and that I was unlikely to hear from him anymore, so I asked yi, "Is there anything that I need to do in this situation?"

I received 5 (waiting) no changing lines.

I figured that was clear, and matched what I had been thinking anyway. But I think I was hoping for confirmation that it was over, as waiting is quite difficult sometimes. What surprised me about yi's response, is that telling me to "wait" implies, not over yet.

Later today I asked yi "while I am waiting, what do I need to focus on regarding this situation for my own development?"

I received 64.3.6 changing to 32. I feel 64 (not yet across) is telling me it is not over yet, line 3 is confirming that I still need to wait, that if I tried to do anything right now, disaster would follow. But that I need the help of others to create a new situation. I have no idea who "others" would be.

Line 6 was interesting. It talks about drinking wine, and doing things in a haze, which is not altogether a bad thing, but it sometimes has me do things that cause a loss of trust. I feel this describes my situation last week, that I did things I wouldn't have normally done because of drinking, and it caused this difficult development in a previously trusting friendship, but why do I need to focus on this for my development? Is it telling me not to drink with him anymore?

And then 32 (duration), one interpretation I read of this, is that for relationships, this bides well for marriage. I am really not sure on this...

Does anyone have any thoughts or guidance on how to understand these answers?

 

[Pallas]

Can you tell us what happened in this situation? Did the relationship go anywhere?