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8.2.4. to 47, potential relationship

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I had two dates with someone who seems, so far, to be just what I've been looking for -- so of course I have such incredible anxiety about it! I know it's not good to pin one's hopes so quickly on someone, but it's hard not to. I've never had an actual romantic relationship, still at 35, though I've longed for one as long as I can remember -- thank you to those who've had patience and kindness for my posts when I was so deeply sad about past failed attempts.

He was just visiting town for a couple weeks looking for a place to live and intends on moving here next month. But he still hasn't found a place ... so it's this strange limbo. I've tried to text him a little but he doesn't seem anywhere nearly as eager to talk as when he was in town. I don't know if this means he's lost interest. I don't know if he's shy and anxious too (before we kissed he kept coughing and said it was a nervous cough and joked that he must have an allergy to love), if I should keep texting to strike up conversation in the meantime and try to further the connection that way, if that's just my own impatience and over-attachment and there'd only be more opportunities for me to mess it all up before the next date could actually happens ... Or he could give up on the stress of trying to find a place and not even move here after all! (he has the kind of job where he can work remotely and live anywhere)

I asked the Yi for a general diagnosis of the connection between us and received 8.2.4 to 47. I hope 47 is just about my own anxiety and not that I'm already being too clingy and obsequious (8.2) and striking him as exhausting ... but both lines are auspicious? So maybe it's just reflecting my own worries?

And I asked for the romantic potential between us and received 1 unchanging, and I asked how to be with this in general and received 42 unchanging! Is this just telling me to control all my energy and be patient? Or that I should harness that energy and act?
 
F

Freedda

Guest
Looking at your first reading and a 'general diagnosis' - with the image of 8 you have water, which can be emotion, maybe our longings seeking a home within a caring environment (the earth). It seems to describe what a lot of us want from a romanic relationship.

The oracle text advises us to 'approach directly,' which you could interpret as meaning that it's best - and that there is nothing wrong - with showing your feelings. By way of a suggestion, it might also mean having a 'direct' talk about this: 'I like sharing with you, even if it's by text, or even when you're far away. Let me know if this becomes too much for you' ... or some such thing (my words here, so you use your own).

The lines seem to be a reminder you that this has to happen on both the inner and outer levels, maybe the inner is your feelings towards one another, and the outer is how that manifests in the world.

I don't see any big warnings or red flags, but maybe it is a reminder that a relationship is a two-way street.

47 is interesting, in that some of it's names are 'Exhaustion' and 'Confined' so we tend to first think of this negatively. But if you look at the the oracle's words, they say something different: here there is success, fulfillment (or the potential for these), but I think we are also reminded that we need to move beyond just words - we have to have the intent and actions to back up 'I love you' - we have to walk our walk.

It perhaps goes without saying (which might be why we need to be reminded of it), that we can each only walk our own walk, have our own feelings, make our own commitments - and maybe this is why this sometimes feels so exhausting or confining: that we also try to walk, act, feel for another - maybe to think that if we feel a certain way that they should too - but love just doesn't work that way I think.

Best, D
 
D

diamanda

Guest
general diagnosis of the connection between us and received 8.2.4 > 47
Line 8.2 shows a feeling of togetherness coming from within ourself, and since 8 is proximity, I believe this shows how you felt when you two met. I'm saying this describes you because he told you in so many words that he's 'allergic to love' (even if he passed it off as a 'joke').
Line 8.4 shows a really pleasant date.
And then we have 47. It dries out (best case scenario), or lies and imprisonment (worse case scenario). So this is a case of something starting well but not ending well, unfortunately a common story in life.

I asked for the romantic potential between us and received 1 unchanging
There's nothing romantic here, only male sexual energy. And the answer being unchanging, this won't change so I hope you won't waste a minute more on this guy.

I asked how to be with this in general and received 42 unchanging
Look at who of you has what profit from your interactions.
Profit means I achieve what I want to achieve. You want to achieve a loving relationship, but you won't get it from this particular man, so there's no profit there for you. He wants a place to stay in your town, so if he taunts you enough he'll eventually get you to the point where you'll be begging him to stay for free at your house, and then you'll be trapped as in 47 (just one possible scenario).

I see a lot of red flags in this situation, both on his side, and on yours...

His red flags:
intends on moving here next month. But he still hasn't found a place - he's either very disorganised, or lying to you making you believe there's a "future" between you (common player tactic)
he doesn't seem anywhere nearly as eager to talk - so if there's a future between you, where's the logical interim step of ensuring a consolidating present?
he must have an allergy to love - this is a huge red flag, he clearly tells you he dislikes love

Your red flags, which I hope you work on!
seems, so far, to be just what I've been looking for - so you're looking for someone who meets with you a couple of times and then flakes out? and you decide he's what you want after only two dates?
I have such incredible anxiety about it - he's playing you like a fiddle. This is a classic story, the guy initially appears to give you so much, then suddenly withdraws it all and leaves you stressed and confused. At that precise point, you need to recognise this sadistic manipulative game for what it is - and leave. The fact he's causing you stress is a red flag which applies to both you and him.
if that's just my own impatience and over-attachment - it could be partly your own anxiety and low self-esteem, this is something we can work on. I find it perfectly normal to want to keep in touch if the two dates went well, but if one of the two doesn't keep in touch after that it means that they're flaking out (best case) or manipulating you (worse case).
 

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