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A better understanding for an unchanging "PI" 12

simplyaimless

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First off, I would like to say thank you for all those who took the time to read and assist me with a better understanding, direction, and/or a totality of my situation. From what I have gathered from hexagram 12 unchanging or not, can be a very difficult situation and unfortunate result depending on your situation.

I have been placed in a unfortunate situation for quite some time now and leaned on the "I Ching" for advice and guidance. My question was "How can I end my wife's affair?" I used Yarrow sticks to receive the divination of hexagram 12 unchanging.

What is means to me? From what I have gathered and my experience thus far... it appears there is nothing I can do but let my wife's new found relationship run its course. It is said "only by accepting the situation and being patient would he find success." As difficult as it is to understand and swallow this situation, to avoid any calamity and I must hang on to my virtue.

I'm not sure I understand the meaning of "the great is departing, and the small is arriving", who the superior person and inferior person is. I would like your opinion on your thoughts of my situation and the result of receiving hexagram 12 unchanging.

Your suggestion as to what should I do? (besides the obvious and negative) How would you approach this situation using this result?


for those curious, My wife and I have been together going on 11 years and 6 years married next month.
My wife fell into an entanglement and emotional feelings for someone else and has pronounced her love for this new person. I truly feel this is a stage in our lives that we as a couple must go through in order to come on top. I do love my wife and will continue to do so, she's been a wonderful woman for me and our two daughters. Thank you again for reading and posting a comment.
 

xuesongyu

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Hello friend:

When there is no changing line, you should consider the hex name and the hex code of the hexagram.

The hex name of Hex 12 is "Stagnation"(according to my translation), which means a state of inactivity. So I think I Ching suggests that you should directly tell your wife that she should end her affair and cut off the contact with that man.

---------------------------------------------
The Wisdom of I Ching: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1500859788
I Ching Codes Predicting the Future: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KRPT8G0
 
S

sooo

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The trigrams (heaven and earth, husband and wife) of 12 move away from each other, so it isn't really a standstill or stagnation but more of a separation. The space between them increases.
 

bradford

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The meaning is pretty obvious.
I suspect you don't want to see it.
 

simplyaimless

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Hello friend:

When there is no changing line, you should consider the hex name and the hex code of the hexagram.

The hex name of Hex 12 is "Stagnation"(according to my translation), which means a state of inactivity. So I think I Ching suggests that you should directly tell your wife that she should end her affair and cut off the contact with that man.

---------------------------------------------
The Wisdom of I Ching: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1500859788
I Ching Codes Predicting the Future: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KRPT8G0



Thank you for your thought and comment. I have tried and no luck to reason, beg, plead unfortunately. I believe it's meant for me to stop and wait?
 

simplyaimless

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The meaning is pretty obvious.
I suspect you don't want to see it.

bradford, when people ask for a different meaning, or a different view of interpreting something I can without a doubt see clear and answer the question. But when I am the one with the question i receive this road block in my head and everything that seems so simple becomes something a little more complicated. I am sure you've been there before.

As far as accepting the text and the wisdom to follow, I do accept it. How I understand it and apply it is the difficult part. I'd appreciate any additional input from you, thank you for taking the time to post.
 

moss elk

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Please accept my sympathies.
Sometimes when we are close to a problem it is easy to miss the bigger picture and hard to try to see it with some amount of objectivity. We can confuse our hopes and wishes with what is really going on.

She chose to have the affair. She made the choice, not you.
You cannot make her stop the affair, only she could choose to.

"How can i stop my wife's affair?"
I don't think Yi exactly answered your direct question, but gave advice on what you should do.

Withdraw, seperate.
Preserve your dignity in a shitty situation.
 

bradford

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bradford, when people ask for a different meaning, or a different view of interpreting something I can without a doubt see clear and answer the question. But when I am the one with the question i receive this road block in my head and everything that seems so simple becomes something a little more complicated. I am sure you've been there before.

All us humans have a huge set of mechanisms to help us see only what we want to see. We have defense mechanisms, logical fallacies, coping strategies and cognitive biases. That's why we need to get outside ourselves and why we use oracles like the Yi - but we have to really force ourselves to listen to the second opinion we get, and not try to twist it all around.
You have to separate, let your wife go, go in different directions. This doesn't mean it's over for good, although it seems it might be. It only means that you hold only with an open hand.
 

vakos

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I was searching for ideas on interpretation of 12 UC and found your post today.

It is indeed a frustrating situation, I hope you are over it by now.

My experience with unchanging hexagrams is that they bring us two kinds of messages:

1. The image of the situation you are in.
2. The realization that although you are part of the setup, you play no active role in it.

So, the answer to you question of "what can I do...?" was a quite emphatic "nothing proactive".

But Yi is giving guidance of how to cope with the stagnation in your life. I wish you find the right mindset to eventually "come on top" as you said, for the sake of your couple and two daughters.
 

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