A bit embarrassing question: Hex. 27.4 to 21

[misswasabi]

Hello everyone,

Lately I’ve been having a feeling I hadn’t experienced for a long time. The thing is I feel more sexually aroused than usual. It’s not that I usually lack a sex drive; I think my sexual drive is usually nothing but normal, but these days it feels like too much. Why is that a problem? Well, because I’m starting to feel attracted by men I wouldn’t get involved with in normal circumstances. Let’s say I’m not dissolute and wild by nature and I normally find it hard to meet someone I fancy. Twenty years ago I experienced the same feeling, and –coincidentally- it was when I had just moved in with the guy who was my boyfriend then. Even though we had been together for nine years, I ended up giving in to the strong attraction I was feeling for other men and had to break up with him. It was very hard, because it made me feel so flippant and unreliable… and also it ended up with a great, solid relationship. Eventually I reached the conclusion that I was too young and needed to experience more things before settling in a relationship.
And well; now I’m feeling pretty much the same. I just moved in with my partner and the only think I can think of is to have sex with a guy from the maintenance staff of the building where I work. And it’s the kind of vain and shallow desire I rarely experience; I tend to fall in love with people, I like to build strong connections; I’m not a one-night stand person, so to speak, so it’s rare that I experience this kind of raw desire that would lead me nowhere.
The thing is I’m not as young as I used to be, so I can’t blame my youthful for that, and I’m afraid there is a pattern here which could be exposing some kind of fear of commitment. I don’t know, and I certainly feel a bit embarrassed to be explaining this here, but don’t know what to do, and I wouldn’t like to see myself ruining my relationship just because I can’t control my sexual desire . Now I’ve been elaborating more on the topic I realized I asked to wrong question when casting the coins, because I just asked: “What should I do regarding my attraction to the maintenance staff guy?”
I got hexagram 27.4 >21. And it looks like a very interesting cast, very physical, I would say, because it refers to the mouth and to bite. I think it’s definitely related to my hunger, and 21 could indicate that I should…well, bite. But that’s not serious… I’m starting to think that I’m probably advised to rethink what I want, to bite through this desire and understand what kind of desire I’m (really) trying to fulfill here. Or maybe not; maybe the Yi is being as literal as “Go ahead and sink your teeth into this juicy prey”. OMG. I can’t believe I just said that
Any ideas on what the Yi could be trying to tell me will be much appreciated.

 

[moss elk]

What would you be feeding?

Ultimately, you'll have to decide between commitment and being the kind of tigress you are thinking of being. You can't have both.
(unless you found another tiger, but those relationships aren't based on love)
The pattern you are repeating is to avoid commitment (or to hurt men)

A long time ago, a friend of mine was in a four year relationship, living together and, engaged to be married. They took a trip to Paris and were going to wed soon after. Under the Eiffel Tower, he walked away to get a beverage. When he came back to her, she was full on making out with a stranger. When they went back to the hotel, she told him she didn't want to marry because she wanted to have sex with a lot of different people. They broke up, he was shocked and devastated for a long time. She went on to become a stripper. So, if you don't care about your current partner, go ahead, be a tigress, but don't ever pretend to be otherwise, because there is another person to consider.

 

[rosada]

27.4 talks about the tiger's instinct to continually pursue. I wonder if it is significant that these attractions you've experienced have come up soon after you've made a commitment. I wonder if while dating we're sort of in singles mode and maybe that mind set continues for a bit so even after we say we've shifted gears and are now supposedly in couples mode, perhaps we're still programed to talk flirty and be looking for feedback and reassurance that we could be a desirable mate. So when you committed to move in with your boyfriend the hunt was over but your "hungry tiger" instinct doesn't know that and so with the boy friend no longer being the challenge, the inner tiger who instinctively is always looking for new conquests, still continues to prowl and hits on someone new. Maybe you need to have a little talk with yourself and say, "Listen you sexy beast, I want you to know I realize you are the cutest cat in the jungle and you always will be, but my making a commitment to my partner is not some sort of obstacle you need to Bite Through. Calm down and cool it with the looking for new meat." In other words, we're spiritual beings in animal bodies that come with animal instincts and it's our job to train our animal and restrain those instincts and sometimes that takes a bit of doing. When you find your self - your animal - being attracted to another man, handle it as you would if you were walking your dog and he started sniffing the neighbor's dog, say no and keep moving.

 

[misswasabi]

Thank you both for your comments.
Elk Moss, I think the key is precisely the question you pointed out: What would I be feeding? To me, what I live is a massive contradiction between two different drives: my strong desire to create stable, faithful connections and relationships, and the sudden crave I experience sometimes for strictly sexual relationships with new men. Of course it’s up to me to decide whether I want to feed one or another, and to me there’s no doubt I want the first, the deep meaningful relationship with my significant other, and I won’t be “feeding” that if I consecrate my time to fantasize with someone else, that’s for sure.
I don’t want to be a slave of my impulses, and of course I don’t want to hurt men or anyone, for that matter. The truth os the whole thing makes me suffer a lot, so I guess the pattern I see in my behavior doesn’t have its origin there. I don’t even think my “impulses” are a bad thing per se, but they’re certainly conflictive. Probably rosada is right, and I’m just trying to balance two sides of my nature (one more rational and one more instinctive) both of which are relevant but work at odds with each other. I’m taking hexagram 27.4 as an invitation to think, as if the Yi was saying: “don’t blame yourself for your hunger, but take this opportunity to think what are you nurturing yourself with, what is the life you are building for yourself”. In a nutshell, I will take it as an invitation to exercise awareness, instead of taking one of the two paths I always choose: be swept along and feel guilty, or be frustrated and puzzled with myself. Rosada, I think I will have a bit conversation with myself (I laughed at the example for the speech to my “inner sexy beast”; I think you were right on (and you are fricking funny ))