...life can be translucent


A bit worried...



So, everyone knows I am getting a divorce. It should have been final by now, but we can't agree on what to do with our condo. I feel that it should be awarded to me as it is our daughter's home and would cause the least amount of upheaval for her. Also, the mortgage is very low, and I am not sure I could find anything as affordable. Initially, I offered to take the condo in lieu of child support, which he can't really afford to pay, but he refused. I have offered for him to pay child support and keep the condo and give him a share of the equity in the future, whenever I decide to sell it, again he refused. I have no idea what he is planning, and I have been somewhat nervous that he is going to blindside me.

I asked Yi how the rest of the year looked regarding my divorce and got 41.2 to 27. I then asked if it would be final by the end of the year and got 62.1.3 to 51. Finally I asked if I should take my lawyers advice and have a temporary custody order done now, 24.1.2 to 7. The second reading is the one I am most concerned about. It seems to be confirming my concerns that he is planning something of which I am unaware, but of course the difficulties could have nothing to do with him, could be delays or something we have no control of, but I am still concerned. The 2 lines in the last reading are a bit confusing as doing one would seem to go against the other. I'm just not sure, and as I said, I do not want to get blindsided. Any ideas???


May 31, 1972
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Yes, be concerned about the 62.3 line - be on guard for sure.

- Jeff


Aug 23, 1972
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Don't use the argument that you and your daughter should stay in the condo so as not to disrupt her routine. Assuming you get custody, what happens when she moves out? Are you then living in your car? Do you have to sell and then split the proceeds with your soon-to-be-ex? I'd insist on getting a fair appraisal of the condo. Agree (hah) on today's appraised value and on fairly apportioned shares of that value (hahahaha). Make these numbers part of the official divorce decree. Keep careful payment records of his child support and spousal support, if any. When it is time for you to assume full ownership or sell, you then can deduct from his share, all his missed support payments, plus accrued interest. The Yi didn't tell me that; my lawyer did, and it worked beautifully. My ex, who thought it clever to remain grossly underemployed so as not to have to pay oodles of child support that would of course have done nothing but keep me in Godiva chocolates, will end up with cash equal to about 20% of the current market value of the house, which is not insignificant. Ask your attorney what he/she thinks of this strategy. I promise you that living well is the best revenge. And as Dobro would point out, living well also happens to be the best way of living.

The Yi was, of course, correct. Be careful. And remember that sometimes being careful means being smart.

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