A little help with hexagram 15 interpretation, please?

[LuquiBeginner]

Hello, everybody! I'm new to the community and this is my first post. I've been reading the posts on Clarity for some time now in order to better understand the readings I get from the Oracle. I'm glad I could join such a nice community of people I was hoping to get some help from you guys about a reading I recently got from the I Ching. I'm using Richard Wilhelm's translation, by the way. The matter at hand is this: there's this girl I like and I've been trying to get a bit closer to her for the past month. I haven't been a nuisance or anything. We actually just speak and see each other two days a week since we're attending to a certain course together at college. We took the habit of going back home together because we take the same route. A few weeks ago, I asked the Oracle if I had any chance of actually having a relationship with her and the answer was, if my interpretation is correct, an absolute no: hexagram 19.3 into 11. The next day, I decided to put the Oracle to the test, as I always like to do. She knows I like her, so I texted her at lunch time and asked her if she was done with her classes. She didn't respond although she saw my message, and replied two hours later saying she finished late, that she had lunch with one of her friends and saying she was sorry for not replying sooner. Feeling defeated, I went home and asked a final question to the Oracle: What course of action should I take if I want to have a relationship with her?The answer was hexagram 15, Modesty (or Humility). The answer had me awe-struck, because this is pretty much the only hexagram with 6 positive lines in it, and felt really down. I thought "If the Oracle is actually just telling me to be more humble, I must be a really big piece of trash". Yet, I'm having a bit of trouble understanding the answer because I don't know if I should take it literally or if a deeper meaning is telling me to let go, given the 19.3 into 11 I got before. What do you guys think about those two readings and those three hexagrams? Would you help me interpret them the right way, please?Thank you very much in advance!

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 15. Modesty describes someone who is neither too boastful nor too shy, someone who can do what is necessary in the moment to move things forward and whether their role is to lead the parade or clean up afterwards it makes no difference to them, as they have a clear inner sense of their self worth. As a response to your question I think you are being advised to be yourself and take things one day at a time.
Also a modest person would not assume they should be given special attention and so they are not discouraged if plans don't always work out - like the lunch date not happening.

As to your first question, "Can I have a relationship with her?" , this is a yes-or-no question and the I Ching does not have any hexagrams that say yes or no so it is usually more productive to find a way to phrase your question differently. In this case I think the I Ching is advising you as to what you must be aware of so you can have a relationship. 19.3>11 warns you must not be demanding or controlling but to go with the flow. Interesting that shortly after receiving this response you wanted to meet with her for lunch but she didn't jump at the opportunity or rearrange her schedule to accommodate you but you didn't let that derail your interest, you were able to flow with it.

 

[LuquiBeginner]

Dear Rosada, thank you very much for your answer and sorry for not responding sooner.

Your interpretation is very interesting. I really hadn't thought about it that way. I appreciate your help.

Maybe there is something I need to clarify further. This girl knows I like her because I had been doing some advances, but she hasn't really been responding the same way.

Before I asked the Oracle the question that got me to hexagram 19.3 (which turns into 11), she had been a bit distant. I mean, she wasn't showing any sign of interest, but neither of the contrary.

When I texted her that day I didn't really ask her if she wanted to have lunch, mainly because I couldn't. She read my first message but decided not to reply until after she had lunch. My guess is she imagined I wanted to grab a bite with her, she didn't want to and chose to ignore my advance.

Hence, I consulted the I Ching and got 19.3. That's why I interpreted it as something "bad" in the first place.

She was still being polite but became more... Cautious?

Don't know if this changes anything in the reading...

 

[bradford]

15 isn't about being humble. It's about being realistic, or authentic, not getting carried away. Being neither more nor less than what you ought to be. Not getting ahead of yourself, but not being self-effacing either. The lines play around a bit with our misunderstanding of what humility means, and this is intentional.
Your statement about this being "the only hexagram with 6 positive lines" suggests that you still need to learn not to approach any idea in the Yijing as inherently positive or negative.

 

[LuquiBeginner]

Thank you very much, Bradford. I appreciate your help with your interpretation of hexagram 15. I see now that the sense of modesty or humility is very similar to the aristotelian idea of phronesis as a way of finding the "golden mean".

 

[bradford]

Thank you very much, Bradford. I appreciate your help with your interpretation of hexagram 15. I see now that the sense of modesty or humility is very similar to the aristotelian idea of phronesis as a way of finding the "golden mean".

Good insight.