A question about health and addiction

[niknak]

I would really appreciate some help with a reading I received. First a little about my situation...



I am an addict - I’ve been addicted to alcohol and prescription medications for as long as I can remember. It’s not known outside my immediate circle as I have somehow managed to get on with life and keep my issue discreet.

Very recently, I decided to stop alcohol and soon (within the next couple of days, I will quit all medications that are addictive). For many years, I have promised to quit tomorrow or next week but have never managed to follow through. I’ve made many attempts to quit and turn my life around but seem to slip back into old habits... sometimes because I’m so delusional that I think I can control my habit and other times because the physical symptoms of quitting are far too difficult to deal with. I’ve in no doubt damaged my health over the years and I am currently in a situation where I’m scared that I might have a terminal disease. I am under specialists and am due a cat scan in July. The scan was due to be booked 6 months ago but with everything that’s going on in the world at the moment, it now won’t happen until July. Since last seeing the consultant, my symptoms have worsened and there are also new ones. I’m pretty scared. It’s also hard knowing that I am responsible for what is happening and that I have I brought this whole thing on myself. I am determined to quit but realise it won’t be a walk in the park and that there is more work to be done than simply saying “that’s it, I quit”. My question to the Oracle was about my health. I think I understand what some of it means but I’m not sure what is meant by ‘reaching the end in the 8 month means pitfall’ or ‘if the situation demands you produce a tangible result, misfortune.’ Is the end in the 8th month my end? Ugh, I hope not. Does the part about tangible results mean I’m doomed either way? There are some parts of the reading that are very clear to me and other parts that are not so clear as I’ve said. I would be so grateful for opinions, thoughts and ideas. I have a feeling that one way or another, I am in a fight for my life. Actually, it’s more of a realisation than a feeling. I realise my question probably isn’t worded in the best way... I’d been putting off doing a reading for fear of the response and was kind of skirting around the real question at hand which is whether or not I have a terminal condition. Thank you so much in advance. x





How can I heal from the health problems I’m experiencing?

61, 5 6

19

 

[my_key]

How can I heal from the health problems I’m experiencing? 61: 5, 6 >19

Innermost Sincerity through Approaching

So a summary of your reading from the meaninings of the hexagrams could be that the health problems you are experiencing are building trust within you as you learn to be more accepting of the help you are giving yourself and that is coming from 'someone' on high.

The context of your reading (19) shows that you are now in a springtime and growth is abundant and every advantage should be taken of this time as your success grows. Like with all natural cycles these times of abundant growth will recede and like with the onset of autumn times will fall fallow. So make the most this favourable time and make sure you have made adequate provisions to see yourself successfully through the autumn months. Keep your expectations balanced and do what you can, when you can to foster good preparations to offset a premature early winter. This is perhaps not the Ugh!! you are thinking of more a case of what goes up must come down at some point. So, to my way of looking at it, a low point (period) rather than an end point.

Hex 61 works on aligning your outer world with your inner world and urges you to better know yourself and be true to yourself. Be your truth; speak your truth and live your truth. From what you have written above there are real signs that you are better equipped for doing this now after many years of living through a false truth. The Image asks you to lay aside making swift judgements and to show compassion for yourself and for others.

61.5 - be the leader that you were always meant to be. Shine out brightly on all around.
61.6 - beware of words spoken through overconfidence and bravado. Truths are not born of words garnered in this lofty arena. The words formed here quickly fade leaving nothing behind.

The nuclear of 61 is 27 Nourishment so this whole shebang is being powered by energies nurturing your growth and feeding you with what you need.

....or it may be nothing like this at all for you.

Good Luck

 

[rosada]

Perhaps 61.5.6 is saying you already know what changes you need to make, the problem is not being able to stick with the changes. Likewise I think 19. and it's warning about the 8th month is also a way of saying you mustn't quit too soon. Restoring your health is going to require lifestyle changes that aren't just for until you feel better - they are for life!
There is a book called Habit and if you google it there are you tube videos that condense the whole message into a two minute review. Basically the message is that we get a cue, we have a routine, and we get a reward. Like the alarm goes off, we get up and do our routine of brushing our teeth and we get rewarded with a minty taste in our mouths. Or we're hungry, we grab a snack and we get rewarded with a nice full feeling. The author suggests that to make a lasting change in our habit we keep the cue and the reward but change the routine. Thus, when you feel hungry you don't try to resist the cue, but you change the routine - drink a glass of water - to get to the reward of feeling full. Or in the case of alcohol if the cue is you're bored or lonely you don't do the usual routine of going to a bar, you change it and go to an AA meeting and so you still get the desired reward of companionship. Anyway, what I've written here sounds too simplistic. Read the book!

 

[niknak]

How can I heal from the health problems I’m experiencing? 61: 5, 6 >19

Innermost Sincerity through Approaching

So a summary of your reading from the meaninings of the hexagrams could be that the health problems you are experiencing are building trust within you as you learn to be more accepting of the help you are giving yourself and that is coming from 'someone' on high.

The context of your reading (19) shows that you are now in a springtime and growth is abundant and every advantage should be taken of this time as your success grows. Like with all natural cycles these times of abundant growth will recede and like with the onset of autumn times will fall fallow. So make the most this favourable time and make sure you have made adequate provisions to see yourself successfully through the autumn months. Keep your expectations balanced and do what you can, when you can to foster good preparations to offset a premature early winter. This is perhaps not the Ugh!! you are thinking of more a case of what goes up must come down at some point. So, to my way of looking at it, a low point (period) rather than an end point.

Hex 61 works on aligning your outer world with your inner world and urges you to better know yourself and be true to yourself. Be your truth; speak your truth and live your truth. From what you have written above there are real signs that you are better equipped for doing this now after many years of living through a false truth. The Image asks you to lay aside making swift judgements and to show compassion for yourself and for others.

61.5 - be the leader that you were always meant to be. Shine out brightly on all around.
61.6 - beware of words spoken through overconfidence and bravado. Truths are not born of words garnered in this lofty arena. The words formed here quickly fade leaving nothing behind.

The nuclear of 61 is 27 Nourishment so this whole shebang is being powered by energies nurturing your growth and feeding you with what you need.

....or it may be nothing like this at all for you.

Good Luck

Thank you so much for your detailed reply, I’m so very grateful! I can totally relate to everything you explained.

My words have been just that in times past, they have lacked any real substance and as a result amounted to nothing. I realise it’s easy to say, I won’t do this or I will do that... my words need to be more than just words - they need substance. I’ve got a lot of work to do and will be keeping my reading along with your post near to hand for reference. It often takes me a while to understand what hexagrams or lines mean and then suddenly I get an aha moment. Thank you again helping me.

If anyone else has anything to add please do, I’m happy to hear all views and ideas

 

[Trojina]

I am an addict - I’ve been addicted to alcohol and prescription medications for as long as I can remember. It’s not known outside my immediate circle as I have somehow managed to get on with life and keep my issue discreet.

Very recently, I decided to stop alcohol and soon (within the next couple of days, I will quit all medications that are addictive).

Please don't . You can't just stop the medications altogether if you have been taking them for a long time, it will be awful. You need to taper off gradually whilst receiving support from a drugs project and with the knowledge of your Dr. Some organisations deal specifically with benzodiazepines...but I don't know what drugs you mean. I do know suddenly stopping will set you back, surely you know this ?

I know less about alcohol but if you have been addicted so long it's not realistic just to try to stop on your own.

For many years, I have promised to quit tomorrow or next week but have never managed to follow through. I’ve made many attempts to quit and turn my life around but seem to slip back into old habits... sometimes because I’m so delusional that I think I can control my habit and other times because the physical symptoms of quitting are far too difficult to deal with.

Well you need more than your own willpower for such long standing addictions. Coming off some prescription medications is harder than coming off heroin, there can be pretty bad withdrawal as you must know if you have tried before.

I’ve in no doubt damaged my health over the years and I am currently in a situation where I’m scared that I might have a terminal disease. I am under specialists and am due a cat scan in July. The scan was due to be booked 6 months ago but with everything that’s going on in the world at the moment, it now won’t happen until July. Since last seeing the consultant, my symptoms have worsened and there are also new ones. I’m pretty scared. It’s also hard knowing that I am responsible for what is happening and that I have I brought this whole thing on myself. I am determined to quit but realise it won’t be a walk in the park and that there is more work to be done than simply saying “that’s it, I quit”.

Well there's no reason to suppose you are responsible for your symptoms, they may have no connection to your drug use. I'm sure many other people have these symptoms that don't drink or take medication.

You need to get in touch with organisations that can help you. I'd think your GP might point you in the right direction or you could simply Google.

My question to the Oracle was about my health. I think I understand what some of it means but I’m not sure what is meant by ‘reaching the end in the 8 month means pitfall’ or ‘if the situation demands you produce a tangible result, misfortune.’ Is the end in the 8th month my end? Ugh, I hope not. Does the part about tangible results mean I’m doomed either way? There are some parts of the reading that are very clear to me and other parts that are not so clear as I’ve said. I would be so grateful for opinions, thoughts and ideas. I have a feeling that one way or another, I am in a fight for my life. Actually, it’s more of a realisation than a feeling. I realise my question probably isn’t worded in the best way... I’d been putting off doing a reading for fear of the response and was kind of skirting around the real question at hand which is whether or not I have a terminal condition. Thank you so much in advance. x

You aren't doomed, though you need support for your addictions far more than an I Ching reading. I mean seriously you can't expect just to stop the drugs and alcohol all by yourself can you. I had a benzo addiction many years ago and got through it through a drugs projects who advised me on how much to reduce each week alongside other support. If it's been that long it really isn't something you can do alone especially if it's both alcohol and prescription meds.

How can I heal from the health problems I’m experiencing?

61, 5 6

19

Well practically the above advice I've offered. The reading can only support that. If you sincerely want to do this you can, with guidance and care and expertise of others (19) who are trained ay helping people such as yourself. I see the 19 as the nearing of whatever the primary is (Hilary's idea) also here the nearing of taking responsibility not only by you but by others too. Addicts are usually addicts for a reason that is not their responsibility and therefore society must help them.

Change patterns 20 and 34 - I always like to point them out.


I'm not sure whether the question is about the addictions or the health problem. They may not be connected, very healthy clean living people get very sick too. Just from what you are saying about being scared of your symptoms I'd say don't worry so much the human body produces all kinds of weird symptoms, no use worrying until you get to see the consultant.


re the 61 well it's a very genuine desire so I think you can receive really good genuine help (line 5) and it will be important to be very grounded in your approach to resolving these issues - just saying you will do this isn't enough (line 6) you can really convince yourself but that won't make it happen. However if you can find the right support, and the reading looks good for that then why wouldn't you make progress. 61.6 also makes me feel you have linked the alcohol and drugs to the symptoms falsely - you are thinking 'I must stop now' because you think the symptoms are directly related to the alcohol etc. You may be going way way too far with that. So in slowing down you find support - well with the pandemic it may be harder but something could be arranged. Then you have your appt with the consultant.

 

[niknak]

Perhaps 61.5.6 is saying you already know what changes you need to make, the problem is not being able to stick with the changes. Likewise I think 19. and it's warning about the 8th month is also a way of saying you mustn't quit too soon. Restoring your health is going to require lifestyle changes that aren't just for until you feel better - they are for life!
There is a book called Habit and if you google it there are you tube videos that condense the whole message into a two minute review. Basically the message is that we get a cue, we have a routine, and we get a reward. Like the alarm goes off, we get up and do our routine of brushing our teeth and we get rewarded with a minty taste in our mouths. Or we're hungry, we grab a snack and we get rewarded with a nice full feeling. The author suggests that to make a lasting change in our habit we keep the cue and the reward but change the routine. Thus, when you feel hungry you don't try to resist the cue, but you change the routine - drink a glass of water - to get to the reward of feeling full. Or in the case of alcohol if the cue is you're bored or lonely you don't do the usual routine of going to a bar, you change it and go to an AA meeting and so you still get the desired reward of companionship. Anyway, what I've written here sounds too simplistic. Read the book!

I’ve absolutely had a problem sticking to the changes that are needed! I can think of what I want to do, say what I want to do and even feel like I mean it but its all amounted to nothing and I start over again.

With regards to 19, do you mean not quitting to soon as in possibly stopping medications to soon or quitting too soon as giving up the good fight too soon? Sorry to be a pain.

I'm going to look into that book tonight and as you’ve recommended it, I’m going to give it a go - I’ve nothing to lose and could do with all the help I can get. Thank you so much, your help means a lot to me.

 

[niknak]

Please don't . You can't just stop the medications altogether if you have been taking them for a long time, it will be awful. You need to taper off gradually whilst receiving support from a drugs project and with the knowledge of your Dr. Some organisations deal specifically with benzodiazepines...but I don't know what drugs you mean. I do know suddenly stopping will set you back, surely you know this ?

I know less about alcohol but if you have been addicted so long it's not realistic just to try to stop on your own.




Well you need more than your own willpower for such long standing addictions. Coming off some prescription medications is harder than coming off heroin, there can be pretty bad withdrawal as you must know if you have tried before.



Well there's no reason to suppose you are responsible for your symptoms, they may have no connection to your drug use. I'm sure many other people have these symptoms that don't drink or take medication.

You need to get in touch with organisations that can help you. I'd think your GP might point you in the right direction or you could simply Google.




You aren't doomed, though you need support for your addictions far more than an I Ching reading. I mean seriously you can't expect just to stop the drugs and alcohol all by yourself can you. I had a benzo addiction many years ago and got through it through a drugs projects who advised me on how much to reduce each week alongside other support. If it's been that long it really isn't something you can do alone especially if it's both alcohol and prescription meds.







Well practically the above advice I've offered. The reading can only support that. If you sincerely want to do this you can, with guidance and care and expertise of others (19) who are trained ay helping people such as yourself. I see the 19 as the nearing of whatever the primary is (Hilary's idea) also here the nearing of taking responsibility not only by you but by others too. Addicts are usually addicts for a reason that is not their responsibility and therefore society must help them.

Change patterns 20 and 34 - I always like to point them out.


I'm not sure whether the question is about the addictions or the health problem. They may not be connected, very healthy clean living people get very sick too. Just from what you are saying about being scared of your symptoms I'd say don't worry so much the human body produces all kinds of weird symptoms, no use worrying until you get to see the consultant.


re the 61 well it's a very genuine desire so I think you can receive really good genuine help (line 5) and it will be important to be very grounded in your approach to resolving these issues - just saying you will do this isn't enough (line 6) you can really convince yourself but that won't make it happen. However if you can find the right support, and the reading looks good for that then why wouldn't you make progress. 61.6 also makes me feel you have linked the alcohol and drugs to the symptoms falsely - you are thinking 'I must stop now' because you think the symptoms are directly related to the alcohol etc. You may be going way way too far with that. So in slowing down you find support - well with the pandemic it may be harder but something could be arranged. Then you have your appt with the consultant.

Wow, I‘m blown away by the support and time and effort put into replies! Thank you Trojina!
I am day 5 without alcohol and wont go back now. To date I’ve been fortunate to stop with minor withdrawals, mainly restless legs and trouble Sleeping but I realise it can be dangerous quitting suddenly, I’ve been lucky in that respect.

With regards to the medications, I take pain killers and benzo's. I don’t take benzo’s daily but I do binge on them often and then go through a few days of horrible withdrawals, it’s a nasty cycle and I think I might of had a bit of a seizure a couple of months ago. I take painkillers for a back condition but my back isn’t as painful as it once was, I take the painkillers now to feel normal because I can’t function without them. I suffer from awful fatigue and when I stop them, it gets so bad I can’t get out of bed, it’s another level of fatigue, like I can’t scratch my nose without huge effort, my God it’s awful. It’s not so much the physical withdrawal, yes is terrible don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy but the Physical part is over in a few days or so, it’s the lethargy that kicks in after that I can’t handle, its a different level of hell and there seems to be no end to it. It’s very hard to explain to people who haven’t experienced it, it’s one of those, if you know, you know kind of things but it’s not a club anyone wants to be in.

Apparently, benzo withdrawal is just as bad if not worse than opiate withdrawal. Well done on quitting, that must have been really tough Trojina, very well done! I have 3 week gaps between my Opiate binges but it’s possible some of what I go through is down to the benzo’s because I’m probably not fully recovered in 3 weeks. I’m such an idiot! You’re spot on, I do need help of some sort. I’ve tried meetings and they are not for me... I’m going to see if I can find an addiction counsellor. I’m sorry for offloading here on the site... I realise I must sound like a hideous person to some. I’m embarrassed admitting all this stuff but at the same time it feels good to let it out.

I’ve given up one drug or another but I’ve never properly given up everything all at once - I’ve always had something in my system so to speak I’ve got to thinking it might be why I haven't been able to fully recover when I’ve quit opiates in the past. I’ve given up pills but continued to drink or vice versa. I honestly hate opiates, I get nothing genuine from them at all...

I'm going to reread your post and think about it for a while. There is a lot to take in. I think it might be better that I taper from the opiates, even if it’s a quick taper? I think the 8th month is suppose to be September? Do I to take the timing literally or is it more about not doing things too soon? I was considering trying to get my appointment moved forward... I‘m still a tad confused with regards to not doing things too quickly but also act right now.,, Actually, I guess I can act right now without moving too quickly... I think I’ve answered myself there.

My reading was about my health but my mindset was around my addictions at the time of my reading. Hope that makes sense? It’s interesting that you say my bad health might not be related to my lifestyle, I never considered that before, it might be the case... that said, I can’t expect to get better continuing to do the same things. Thanks again for your time Trojina, you’ve been a great help and given me lots to think about.

 

[Trojina]

Definitely taper but tapering is still hard so go to a specialist place where they show you exactly how to do it because it's not easy, it's a very big job indeed.

19 was your relating hexagram, that's the whole context not just 'the future'. Be careful not to take readings as hard predictions, it wouldn't be good for someone where you are, it isn't good for anyone really. The reading is a map to help you find where you are because you can't get where you're going without knowing where you are first.

I don't think I would take the '8th month' as literally meaning September for you. The idea with the 8th month thing is 19 is like springtime, so much to do, to take responsibility, to look after and nurture what's growing. If the work isn't done in the spring then the harvest in 8 months won't be good. But I don't think you really need to think too much about that. Hilary calls 19 'Nearing', this is nearing in the sense of a parent or teacher or kind spirit approaching you with genuine care. The primary hexagram is 61, Inner Truth, inner truth looms large to you, you are ready to share I think with the kind authority that approaches or is there for you.


It's amazing how you (and people in your situation) think it's all down to you, it really isn't. No one gets hooked on things without a reason. There's an inner pain one is trying to escape from so it's not your fault you are in a sense injured. Even if nothing traumatic happened in your life you may be very sensitive and have found you couldn't cope with the reality of the accumulated hurts of life and so somehow when your brain found it could get relief from these substances it took it and so addiction just followed. So there you are injured and you say you are a 'hideous person' and you really think you should be able to do it but you keep failing because you are not a good person.....none of that's true. Now there's this genuine impulse in line 5 to open up to really beat the hold these things have on you.

There's certainly light at the end of the tunnel with this cast, 61.5 is beautiful

'There is truth and confidence as a bond - no mistake' (Hilary's book)

So that's a very solid sincere line, your wish to let go of these substances is quite firmly rooted within and that's actually stronger in the end than any of the substances.

The warning in line 6

'Cockcrow rises to heaven.
Constancy, pitfall'


is where you might go at it too full on, seeing it as a measure of your worth and then losing that sense of worth when you slip back. Yes it is something to be proud of to go without these things but if you go only by these feelings, telling yourself you are good if you don't and so on the flip side can be you can't last in that and then feel ashamed and then the cycle perpetuates. Although yes your effort and will is required you also have to recognise you really aren't well at all and you will need help just as if you had a broken leg. Also treat yourself kindly, recognise you aren't well now. Check out what's available in your area, there may be all sorts of things available such as complementary therapy sessions for addicts and so on. These can be really helpful.

You'd be approaching your addictions on several levels. The physical, how you are going to taper, who is going to know about that and help you plan doses. Then there's the mental stuff where you might need counselling/group etc. Then there's the strategies you will be using to feel better if withdrawal hits. That might be self care, or it might be reiki, acupuncture, shiatsu - there used to be places that would offer all this to addicts trying to come off the stuff, it would be a multi pronged approach. When you lower doses of anything you know you have to be ready for some rocky days so you plan how you are going to deal with that. I hope there's stuff like this in your area although with covid19 it's not going to be quite like it was unfortunately. All that planning is actually a full time job, you recovering from addictions is a full time job, it's like a project on all these different levels.

 

[rosada]

I meant don't quit quitting! Quit the bad habits, start a new routine and don't give up on the new routine!

I'll be interested to know if you find the book helpful. Also somewhere I picked up the insight that we can think of things as having a magnetic pull and that when you find yourself wanting a drink or calories consider that it is because the idea has a pull like a magnet and that if you give the idea your attention you are connecting with it and so even if you think you are resisting you are still connecting and eventually it pulls you in and you can no more resist the drink than you can the pull of gravity. The first defense is putting your attention on something else. Music can be a great help in shifting one's attention. The second defense is physically distancing yourself from the item. Notice how in the grocery store you can not even be thinking about cookies but when you are in the isle next to them your thoughts start thinking of wanting them but if you just keep walking you get out of their force field and forget about them.

Good luck!
Rosada

 

[niknak]

Definitely taper but tapering is still hard so go to a specialist place where they show you exactly how to do it because it's not easy, it's a very big job indeed.

19 was your relating hexagram, that's the whole context not just 'the future'. Be careful not to take readings as hard predictions, it wouldn't be good for someone where you are, it isn't good for anyone really. The reading is a map to help you find where you are because you can't get where you're going without knowing where you are first.

I don't think I would take the '8th month' as literally meaning September for you. The idea with the 8th month thing is 19 is like springtime, so much to do, to take responsibility, to look after and nurture what's growing. If the work isn't done in the spring then the harvest in 8 months won't be good. But I don't think you really need to think too much about that. Hilary calls 19 'Nearing', this is nearing in the sense of a parent or teacher or kind spirit approaching you with genuine care. The primary hexagram is 61, Inner Truth, inner truth looms large to you, you are ready to share I think with the kind authority that approaches or is there for you.


It's amazing how you (and people in your situation) think it's all down to you, it really isn't. No one gets hooked on things without a reason. There's an inner pain one is trying to escape from so it's not your fault you are in a sense injured. Even if nothing traumatic happened in your life you may be very sensitive and have found you couldn't cope with the reality of the accumulated hurts of life and so somehow when your brain found it could get relief from these substances it took it and so addiction just followed. So there you are injured and you say you are a 'hideous person' and you really think you should be able to do it but you keep failing because you are not a good person.....none of that's true. Now there's this genuine impulse in line 5 to open up to really beat the hold these things have on you.

There's certainly light at the end of the tunnel with this cast, 61.5 is beautiful

'There is truth and confidence as a bond - no mistake' (Hilary's book)

So that's a very solid sincere line, your wish to let go of these substances is quite firmly rooted within and that's actually stronger in the end than any of the substances.

The warning in line 6

'Cockcrow rises to heaven.
Constancy, pitfall'


is where you might go at it too full on, seeing it as a measure of your worth and then losing that sense of worth when you slip back. Yes it is something to be proud of to go without these things but if you go only by these feelings, telling yourself you are good if you don't and so on the flip side can be you can't last in that and then feel ashamed and then the cycle perpetuates. Although yes your effort and will is required you also have to recognise you really aren't well at all and you will need help just as if you had a broken leg. Also treat yourself kindly, recognise you aren't well now. Check out what's available in your area, there may be all sorts of things available such as complementary therapy sessions for addicts and so on. These can be really helpful.

You'd be approaching your addictions on several levels. The physical, how you are going to taper, who is going to know about that and help you plan doses. Then there's the mental stuff where you might need counselling/group etc. Then there's the strategies you will be using to feel better if withdrawal hits. That might be self care, or it might be reiki, acupuncture, shiatsu - there used to be places that would offer all this to addicts trying to come off the stuff, it would be a multi pronged approach. When you lower doses of anything you know you have to be ready for some rocky days so you plan how you are going to deal with that. I hope there's stuff like this in your area although with covid19 it's not going to be quite like it was unfortunately. All that planning is actually a full time job, you recovering from addictions is a full time job, it's like a project on all these different levels.

Thank you Trojina, you will never know how much you have helped me.
I’m no longer going to jump off the pills cold turkey, I’ve listened to all the advice here and it doesn’t seem to be the sensible way to go. Also, a taper seems to be inline with my reading. You’re right, there is a lot to plan and organise if I am to do this successfully. I tend to be an all or nothing sort of person and like most addicts seem to want everything now, now, now. I have to do the work and plan this carefully, starting immediately but not moving too fast.

I‘m very aware of how easy words come, the real challenge will be putting the words into practice. I’m really seeing how stopping the medication abruptly would have been disastrous. I would have been incapacitated and unable to tend to anything else that needs doing.

I am in London so I shouldn’t have any trouble finding outside help. I’m looking for an addiction counsellor that I can maybe visit once a week. I did suffer an awful amount of childhood trauma, in short all three types of abuse and from the age of 6 to the age of 15 so there’s been a lot of damage been done - invisible scars.

I‘m going to see If I can get my hospital appointment brought forward and also speak to my GP about the new symptoms I’m experiencing, I’m trying to be brave and not worry too much, there’s definitely something not right with me but I need to take it a day at a time and not over think things. I’m praying it won’t be anything too serious but ultimately it’s in Gods hands. The help from this forum and the I Ching e

How can I heal from the health problems I’m experiencing? 61: 5, 6 >19

Innermost Sincerity through Approaching

So a summary of your reading from the meaninings of the hexagrams could be that the health problems you are experiencing are building trust within you as you learn to be more accepting of the help you are giving yourself and that is coming from 'someone' on high.

The context of your reading (19) shows that you are now in a springtime and growth is abundant and every advantage should be taken of this time as your success grows. Like with all natural cycles these times of abundant growth will recede and like with the onset of autumn times will fall fallow. So make the most this favourable time and make sure you have made adequate provisions to see yourself successfully through the autumn months. Keep your expectations balanced and do what you can, when you can to foster good preparations to offset a premature early winter. This is perhaps not the Ugh!! you are thinking of more a case of what goes up must come down at some point. So, to my way of looking at it, a low point (period) rather than an end point.

Hex 61 works on aligning your outer world with your inner world and urges you to better know yourself and be true to yourself. Be your truth; speak your truth and live your truth. From what you have written above there are real signs that you are better equipped for doing this now after many years of living through a false truth. The Image asks you to lay aside making swift judgements and to show compassion for yourself and for others.

61.5 - be the leader that you were always meant to be. Shine out brightly on all around.
61.6 - beware of words spoken through overconfidence and bravado. Truths are not born of words garnered in this lofty arena. The words formed here quickly fade leaving nothing behind.

The nuclear of 61 is 27 Nourishment so this whole shebang is being powered by energies nurturing your growth and feeding you with what you need.

....or it may be nothing like this at all for you.

Good Luck

Thank you Trojina, you will never know how much you have helped me.
I’m no longer going to jump off the pain pills cold turkey, I’ve listened to all the advice here and it doesn’t seem to be the sensible way to go and a taper does seems to be inline with my reading. You’re right, there is a lot to plan and organise if I am to do this successfully. I tend to be an all or nothing sort of person and like most addicts seem to want everything now, now, now. I have to do the work and plan this carefully, starting immediately but not moving too fast.

I‘m very aware of how easy words come, the real challenge will be putting the words into practice. I’m really seeing how stopping the medication abruptly would have been disastrous. I would have been incapacitated and unable to tend to anything else that needs doing.

I am in London so I shouldn’t have any trouble finding outside help. I’m looking for an addiction counsellor that I can maybe visit once a week. I did suffer an awful amount of childhood trauma, in short all three types of abuse and from the age of 6 to the age of 15 so there’s been a lot of damage been done - invisible scars.

I‘m going to see If I can get my hospital appointment brought forward and also speak to my GP about the new symptoms I’m experiencing, I’m trying to be brave and not worry too much, there’s definitely something not right with me but I need to take it a day at a time and not over think things. I’m praying it won’t be anything too serious but ultimately it’s in Gods hands.

I’m going to look into becoming a member here. I’d like to learn more about the I Ching. I was in my early teens when I did my first reading, that was many, many years ago now but even so, I don’t know much outside of throwing the coins (never attempted the yarrow stalks) and forming the hexagrams. It was strange the way the IChing came into my life... I was around 13 or 14 years old and a teacher at my school approached me and gave me a book telling me that she wanted me to have it. She wasn’t even one of my teachers, I didn’t know her, she taught a different year... perhaps she could see how damaged I was...

 

[niknak]

I meant don't quit quitting! Quit the bad habits, start a new routine and don't give up on the new routine!

I'll be interested to know if you find the book helpful. Also somewhere I picked up the insight that we can think of things as having a magnetic pull and that when you find yourself wanting a drink or calories consider that it is because the idea has a pull like a magnet and that if you give the idea your attention you are connecting with it and so even if you think you are resisting you are still connecting and eventually it pulls you in and you can no more resist the drink than you can the pull of gravity. The first defense is putting your attention on something else. Music can be a great help in shifting one's attention. The second defense is physically distancing yourself from the item. Notice how in the grocery store you can not even be thinking about cookies but when you are in the isle next to them your thoughts start thinking of wanting them but if you just keep walking you get out of their force field and forget about them.

Good luck!
Rosada

Thanks Rosada, I really want to see this through. I’m at the stage where I am building the new routines. I’ve quit drinking already as you know and tomorrow I will start a taper plan with the help of a family member. I didn’t relate to what you said about cookies because I don’t have a sweet tooth but swap the cookies for cheese, any type () and yes, I can totally relate... out of sight, out of mind! There’s also association... I associate alcohol with practically everything... I drank when I was happy, sad, fed up, lonely, every occasion was an occasion if you know what I mean. I’ll definitely let you know how I find the book. I’m looking forward to reading it! Have a great evening.