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A Sequence H31, H32, H53. Yup its about a relationship! :)

satiya

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Hi All,
I thought I would write about the Yi's response to some recent events, and see what more I can discover about the readings. Also, I often marvel at the Yi's uncanny relevance to the need one is addressing to it.

I have been consulting the Yi for a few years, and have a beginners comprehension of readings. Mostly, I find the Yi speaks to my intuition, rather than any theory, of which I have very little! But I am sure there is much for me to learn in the way of knowledge.

I do not know if this is a weird assertion to make, but I have a good "relationship" with the Yi ~ I mean the responses of the Yi, feel deeply connected to the questions I ask.

Events and the Yi's response
I have been in a relationship with a girl for some years. As we did not live in the same country the relationship has always had some difficulties in nourishing itself or putting down roots that come from a single life shared in one place.

There are two unusual aspects to this relationship. One, I often receive some wordless communication from her, when we are not in contact. For example if something bad happens or if something is needed. I cannot really explain how this happens, it is like suddenly knowing something in one's inner.

The second, is that she has some psychologial difficulties. Her mother was diagnosed with acute schizophrenia about 20 years ago. This happened when my partner was a small girl, and so she has unconsciously imprinted on her own mind many fears and difficulties about relating and trusting others, which she picked up from her mother's example in those early years. She can become very depressed and when that happens she tends to cut off from everyone. (About this, Hex 18.2 often comes up)

So this is a relationship which doesnt follow the usual pattterns and paths. She often cannot communicate or seeks isolation. It is a relationship which needs a really wide foundation on my side, if it is to work (broad stable basis which brings in from outside many brightening influences - because of the isolation factor)

For some months we have communicated less and less - there was evidently a big hidden blockage in the way. Despite my trying in various ways to dissolve it, get round, undo it etc, I could not find a way through.

So the blockage grew to a point where in the terms of ordinary relationships, this one would be called non-existent. I do not mean hostility or arguments, between us, just self imposed isolation from everyone on her part ("Unable to take being with people") coupled with fears.

Over these months, It appeared to me that we were in for a "sea-change" (break up, split etc) - an intuition which has been growing in me for some time. But not one which I felt afraid of - though I disliked it. Yet it seemed more one of Love's necessity to me. Somewhere in my mind, I have had the idea that several years must pass for a different ground work to be laid, from which this relationship might flourish. That groundwork, I felt, is something that comes from "enhancing one's essence" (for want of a less clumsy phrase) but also, pragmatic things like removing the geographic distance and generating a life for myself in her country which can be sustaining for both of us (emotionally as well as in all the other senses).

So if I have had a central aspiration over the last months, it has been to put into place a different ground....something like harrowing the fields in winter, for another season's growth.

Yet its not about planting seeds. Odd to describe but ploughing up of the old fields, is not about the relationship, its just the right thing to do. And the sowing of the seeds, isnt needed somehow...the ones that plant themselves will be fine.

Also during this time I had readings from the Yi in those months about repairing the Well (usually "The well is being re-lined), About Reform and about Stripping away which I took to mean reforming myself, enhancing one's essence as opposed to playing around with appearances (Grace/Beauty) and removing what is dead - All of which I have taken seriously.

Yesterday, I asked the Yi "What should I bear in mind (attend to) tomorrow, so that there may be more harmony and happiness between us?" The Yi responded with Hex 31 Influence/Wooing with 9 in the 3rd line. ---> Hex 45 Gathering Together.

I understood this to be speaking about being careful about acting on influences which are related sexual desire (thighs hips). But I did not understand how this fitted into the context of the question I had asked.

Then this morning when I woke up, I understood, the Yi's words to mean "This relationship will be ended today by my partner, so don't go and make hay" just because this new "something" will make its appearance, and you can think you are now free to do so." ie dont react, dont run for cover, comfort

The following Hex 45 also struck me as interesting, though I did not see it very clearly.

The presentament which had come to me in the morning grew very strongly during the day, so that when I got to my email, I knew somehow there would be an email from her. And there was. And the jist of this email said: "As you know, all the feelings have been disappearing. I realised a little something today. I cannot see myself in a longterm relationship with anyone at all. All the feelings I had for you have gone. Thats all I can see into my inner at this time" = lets stop being in a relationship.

Oddly this news did not seem a bad thing to me. Not because I do not love this girl very much (I do). Nor because I do not want to be loved by her, but because this development seems to offer more happiness, whereas being in a "relationship" though having a nice "form" in substance was actually blocking a real connection, which would naturally exist through friendship. ie would allow return to something which is natural.

Although I said that this news did not seem to me a bad thing, I should say that I was also shocked. Often I notice that there are two parts of me, one quieter part deeper inside and a more surface, reactive nervous part which wants to disregard the other. The nervous part was nervous, the other part felt relieved, peaceful, thankful, optimistic.

I asked the Yi "What should ("should" = what is for the best) my reaction be to this news?" The Yi's response was Hex 32 Duration. Line 2 'Regret will be gone'.

I understood this to mean something like: "Although you might feel regretful that the relationship is not lasting, However regret will be gone, if you can act with moderation, because moderation has the quality of being able to endure".

This seemed to me to indicate three things:

One, related to me, that one can be contented in moderation. It is a sustaining basis for oneself. Moderation means to me, equaniminity, being measured in ones actions, and reactions - and has a certain kind of sweetness to it.

The other meaning is about duration in the relationship: that moderation is what is needed for there to be "duration" in the relationship. I bore in mind, that Heng is a Hex about marriage (as well as other things), and the question is about the relationship. Also, from reflecting on the injunction of The Image "To remain true to principles, and what one has set oneself". ie stay true to the aspiration to make a different ground for myself and for this relationship.

These two fit with the peaceful feeling I have.


The resulting Hex from 32.2 is 62, Little Excess. I am not sure at all what this means in the context. Insights gratefully received :)

Some kind of over compensation?

I then asked the Yi "In terms of this relationship between her and myself, what follows - where is it going?" The Yi's answer was Hex 53, Gradual Development, with no changing lines.

I am not really sure of the significance of an unchanging Hexagram. Does it indicate something about time ie a state which continues? Or something very different???

I took this to mean a time follows with the potential for patient, slow, gradual building up of a relationship. ie not anything for rushing at, but flowing, allowing stages to follow in their natural order, leading to relationship which the Yi equates with marriage or with something which is in some more formal sense the union of man and woman. ie not Hex 8 or 45.

For me this idea reminds me of the aspiration I have following, which I mentioned earlier ~ making a good basis for ones life (and one's relationships).

I mentioned this peaceful feeling. This feeling is something like: If this relationship returns as something new, that is fine, if it doesnt work that is fine. It is not necessary to aim for the relationship in order to protect what is valuable. It can be let go of, because whatever transpires it will be well.

I hope this can helpful to others in some way.
 
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patro

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31-> 45
in relation to your question... isn't that bad... it's just saying that you don't need to do nothing more than normal to make better the situations... so act like you always did. for today!
45 is also the hex that stay for people that join for the same target... under a leader.
who is the leader today from you?

the second questions was born from the fact that you thought that between you and your partner is a end today.

the third question is different and 53... show a slow evolving relations that can end ia a marriage.
 

satiya

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Oops sorry :)
The Yi's response my first question, I think it is very close to what you said. Stay still, keep direction.

Also it seemed to me to imply something about a compulsive influence...so something like, "be conscious about this"...don't let mind have a field-day with worries and speculations, because these non-conscious actions will have an effect on the whole situation.

The second response, in addition to what I wrote earlier, seems to me to indicate - very simply this news is no cause for regret. And the second Hex means something be like a little bird, one of those ones which flies near the ground from bush to bush. So little steps, small things, (get on with the immediate and obvious) solve difficulties in front of you - not those imagined in the future.

The third response, seems kind of uniquivocal :D. Gradual, patient, emergence of a new, different connection with her, which unites in something the Yi thinks of as marriage.

Overall the three suggest to me, that the current form of the relationship must end and the advice is of letting go of the old, without regret (having both of us the same aim) and if this done gracefully, it brings the possibility of new relationship ( after the stripping away ~ a large fruit remains uneaten), which will take a long time, and will be gradual.

Interestingly, I replied to her, that we should let go of the current relationship completely. Ditch the form, and the keep the essence..because the right form will come by itself. And that we have nothing to fear from this kind of "Loss". This was my natural response to the situation. I asked the Yi what would be the response on her side to this. The reply was 16 unchanging.

And in fact, this was very accurate...her response was, joy, thankfullness, gladness. And for me the same. Also a sense of purity - getting back to the orgins of how we are meant to be. Something a little sacred, as Hex 16 implies. Its not just festivity. Its also related to feeling whole and true.
 
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