advice on advice :) 10.6 --> 58

[salvia]

This is sort of a fun question. My mother warned me not to get involved with a certain man, because it would make me look bad and no one "normal" would be be ever interested in me after that.
(He is 20 years older. My last two boyfriends were also 20 years older. I'm 29. She thinks it will make me look like I have issues. I don't, I just got over a crush I had on a man, younger than me. Unfortunately, it turned out the feeling wasn't mutual, at least not enough, so nothing happened. Then this guy came along and fell in love with me. I'm still not sure of what to do.)
I'm not one to listen to my mother's advice, especially when it comes to my love life. But I understand what she means (I must admit it does make me a bit uneasy. It's sort of natural to want to look good in public eyes.) But anyways, I wondered if there is any truth in this. Am I doomed if I go ahead with this?

I asked the I Ching to give me an advice concerning this ... advice I got

10.6 --> 58

Which I understand as a "LOL" from the universe. As if it looks like a difficult situation but in reality, it's not worth worrying about.

Oh, perhaps I should mention ... When asking about him as a potential partner (a coulpe of weeks ago) - hexagram 58, unchanging. Not sure if I should connect it to this question but it's interesting.

Your thoughts?

 

[ginnie]

10.6 brings supreme good fortune to those who follow the omens . . . Looks like your instincts are good when it comes to choosing a romantic partner!

 

[blue_angel]

That's a heavy weight to bear. "No one normal will ever be interested in you again!" You'll be doomed. No, I don't believe life works that way.

The answer seems to say, you can be the judge of your own path. Evaluate your path, look behind you. If what you see is good, there will be good. It seems sort of like "what you reap is what you sow". If you work on a beneficial harvest your chances are good. 58 shows a joyful opening. I usually see an unchanging hexagram either as not going to bring any change or growth. What you see is what you get. But 58 is not bad to get. How do YOU feel about this man?

Everyone is different and unique in my opinion. There is an average amongst society. But I do not feel there is a "normal". Besides, normals boring, why would anyone want to be normal. Lol.

I do know many couples with quite large gaps in ages that seem to be happy and complement each other well, if that helps.

Best wishes on your journey,

Blue_Angel

 

[salvia]

@ginnie
Oh, I hope so. Some hexagrams (about what would the relationship be like) weren't good at all! But it is, after all, the book of changes, isn't it?

Unless ... It means I should follow the warning omens - the previous hexagrams? Oh uch: At least some were good ...

 

[salvia]

@blue_angel

Yes, very heavy, my mother likes to be dramatic when it comes to these things, I think she thinks she'll be more convincing like that

Interesting about the unchanging hexagram. How do I feel? Well, for the first time in my life, I have a definite feeling that this is not something that will last. I've always entered relationships thinking "this is it". Perhaps it's because I'm more experienced now or perhaps this is what we call "baggage", I feel as if we are too different to function long term. But I'm almost irresistibly drawn to him, could be because he is completely different and interesting. I'm really scared to enter into a relationship like that, because I feel like the ending at some point is inevitable, and all the suffering that comes with it. My head keeps telling me to be rational and I'm succeeding for now ... But at some point, who knows, I'm only human.

I agree ... I look at people as people. Not as people with a age nubmer accompanying them. And yes, why want to be normal
Although there are some things which are more likely to be a problem with a bigger age gap. My last two boyfriends were not terribly fond of changing any part of their lifestyle and that was a big problem in the end. But that could also be a problem at any age I guess.

Thank you

 

[blue_angel]

The ending at some point of everything is inevitable. That's life. Nothing lasts forever. A good friend says "mostly we don't know what's going to happen next, that's the mystery, that's the adventure, that's what makes life fun. So we live right now in this moment. Because tomorrow, I could walk outside and be hit by a bus. And there goes my life."


Its good yes, to have a long term goal in mind. But you can only work today for your future harvest. To think in such "black and white" thinking as "this is it" or "this is doomed"... my grandmother has this quote she says to me. "If you're always waiting on the other shoe to drop, it most certainly will". I think she means that, if you're believing or anticipating something to go wrong it probably will. Like you create that. You manifest that. Not that at times we don't have a certain
intuition about something. Or a gut feeling we should follow. And I
don't know what this is for you. Which one. Your path, only you can live
it, and figure it out. But I added this, just in case it would be of some
help. Create the life you want.

Best wishes on your journey,

Blue_Angel

 

[salvia]

Thank you blue_angel, you are right. The ending is always inevitable. And there's always plenty of buses

(I cast a few hexagrams*** about this a couple of weeks ago and what confirmed my fears was the answer to "what would our relationship be like": 40.4.5 --> 29
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...(s)-and-my-interpretation&p=196043#post196043
- some things have changed since, he's single now.)

I agree about manifesting our own fears. Problem is, sometimes I have no idea what is intuition and what manifestation! For instance, my last boyfriend ... I didn't yet know him, never met him, not even seen a photograph of him. A mutual firend of ours mentioned his name over the phone. It hit me: we will end up together! I knew it. And it happened. At first it was wonderful (well, that's nothing special I guess, but it really was) and during this bilssful phase it hit me again "this will only last until the New Year". There weren't any signs to tell me something would go wrong. And again, I was right.

With this man also, when I heard we would be working together, I had this thought, that something will happen between us. Something. And I said to myself, please no, I want to be with someone younger this time! And he's not even my type! At all! And here I am.

I get these intuitive hints all the time. Usually about some small things I don't really care about. It seems the more I care about something, harder it is to distinguish between what I'm thinking and what I'm sensing to be true.



***
1. what would our relationship be like? hex. 40.4.5 --> 29
2. please, give an advice about him: hex. 62.5 --> 31
3. how does he feel about me: 20.3 --> 53

 

[blue_angel]

From looking at your readings altogether, I feel its more about you than about him. Which they usually are anyway. There's definite potential in the readings. It just looks like you aren't sure or don't know what you want. You seem to be filled with fear and or anxiety about it all. Instead of just flowing with it. So are you even really interested? You don't seem to be. He has professed his love for you right? You say he's not you type. I use to say that. But now I realize I really don't have a "type". My type would be kind, humorous, interesting, unique, lol and a whole bunch of other qualities. I have learned I can fall in love with someone from what's on the inside and even if at first the outside was not appealing, after I know the inside, it seems to reflect on the outside, and all of a sudden they are gorgeous. When they didn't appear to be so before. So what is this type of yours? You say you are both so different. Well isn't that what makes it more interesting. Can't really get bord with that. There'll be a lot to learn from each other I would think. If you find someone exactly like you, wouldn't that get a bit boring? I mean do you want to be in a relationship with yourself? Of course it helps to have some common ground and some common goals or common vision. You would each have to be open to the others views, goals, differences, interests. But don't we have to do that in every relationship? Have you even explored any of this with him? Does he know your goals and interests? Do you know his? The Iching is amazing. A good tool. But sometimes we just have to live life. Experience it. Learn it. But if you're not interested and something tells you hey I'm not interested. Don't fight it. Just tell him. Just be honest. Straightforward. You seem to be making this more difficult than it has to be. Are you attracted to the man or not? Do you feel a connection to him or not? If yes explore it. If not let him go on his way.

 

[salvia]

Wow, you really are good at this!

You are right, this situation really does fill me with anxiety. When I saw hex. 29 I immediately thought - OMG, danger? Will I be in a car crash with him? Or perhaps he has a std? (He had a lot of women, especially when he was younger.) One part of me wants to flow, the other wants to control. Some days I don't know what I want, others yes. I haven't really had a chance to spend much time with him in the past two weeks since he told me he loved me, that hasn't helped I guess. I'll see more of him on friday. There definitely was some kind of connection. We'll see if it's still there

But, yes, those hexagrams ... it really could be all about me. I've been avoiding danger ever since this started. Just as water in hex. 29.

What I meant when I said he was not my type was that I wouldn't be attracted to him "on the surface", which was all I knew of him before we started working together and that's why I (when I got the intuitive "message) thought: why would I be interested in him? But yes, our perception of people changes as we get to know them I don't really have a "type", either.

I say he is different from me ... Well I think he is a bit too hedonistic. Not sure how to describe it, really. Like he's one of the bad boys and I've mostly always been one of the good girls. Perhaps that's what I'm attracted to.

 

[salvia]

Update.

Recently, he has sort of taken a step back. We almost went for coffee once but it didn't work out time-wise, and then I initiated two phone calls but it stayed kind of formal. It could be that he has changed his mind, has other problems on his mind or he is afraid that I'm only being nice (I never really made it clear how I feel, as it's been all a bit too sudden for me.)

I asked the I ching

- Why is he so reserved towards me?
I got 18, unchanging.

- What are his feelings towards me now?
I got 7, unchanging.

- How should I behave towards him so it would be good for our relationship?
21.3.5 changing to 13


I remember getting 18 in a reading, years ago. And the situation worked out. I waited three days and then went into action. Complete turnaround. So, I'm hoping this time is similar
Not sure what to make of the 7. Strategy?
Anyways, I'll see how things develop, if they do at all ... I'll keep you posted Meanwhile, any thoughts on these two readings welcome
PS: I know a family member of his has some health issues and he had to help in these past days (but at the same time, I know it was not an emergency and it culdn't take up all of his time) ... Perhaps hex. 18 is implying that? But not sure if that would be the answer to my specific question. Just a thought.