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Am I being deluded? (yes :) Hex 21 and 22(sort of)

em ching

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Hello,

I am quite a shy sorta person who finds it difficult to express myself, especially with funny, 'cool', confident people.. basically because lack self-confidence and happiness/ security at the mo... which I'm seeing someone about because it's holding me back from who I want to be!

Anyway don't wanna go on too much about that - It's just that at the mo I am boyfriend less and keep either getting with people briefly then nothing or generally liking the wrong people - maybe those 'out of my league'

Anyway yesterday I was doing photo work on the computer at uni, and was sat by this guy who is popular, funny, attractive, good at photography blah blah and was chatting to him ok - banter was quite good for me anyway tho felt put my foot in my mouth on occassions - anyway so he was nice etc, and had complimented me before though I think generally he's just quite charming -

Well, since then my thoughts have been wee bit pre-occupied but I KNOW it's just fantasy land - as I'm too awkward etc, but just to see I asked the I-ching - I got Hex 21 which I read a very relevant interpretation of online: 'Self-deception dividing you from yourself' it also relates to acknowledging the truth and maybe talking? (I'm trying to get better at that)
Anyway then I asked again online (dunno if that's such an accurate or good way to speak to the i-ching?) and got 22-Grace which I also need more of..

This is probably a bit of a boring one, with the answer speaking for itself and I probably already know that I'm just letting fantasy take me away, having another crush on an unnatainable boy, cause feeling generally a bit hurt by life at the mo...

Thoughts on this or similar experiences would be welcome though :)

Thanks for reading!
 

em ching

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Hmm.. I can see that no one has answered..
Erm I guess in a nutshell does Hex 21 bode well, or is it just saying I need to improve myself first.. and stop dreaming for 'better' of fanciful ideas and just live!

Again answering own question.. thoughts on the matter would be appreciated.. I may ask the oracle again?
Being a bit frantic this eve...
 

ben_s

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21 actually says there is some obstruction in your mouth that you should "bite through." In your case there is some way you are getting in your own way. I think you don't need to bite through your foot, but you do need to get it out of your mouth. Any guy is guaranteed to be unavailable if you assume his interest is only because he's charming, not because you might be worth it!

I suggest a follow up question:
What is the obstruction I put in my own way? How can I "bite through" it?
 

willowfox

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Hex 21 says there is a problem that needs to be overcome between the two of you and is telling you to make the effort to overcome it. This hex does not say give up or that it is just wishful thinking, it says get out there, make the effort, do your best and you could well win the prize but it is up to you. Determination to succeed is what you need so go for it.
 

em ching

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Thanks that's great - I know it's my nerves that makes me put my foot in my mouth but I shall re-ask maybe for advice on how to overcome it and where it all springs from.

I also do agree that it is that old chestnut of if you don't love and respect yourself then who else will!

Working on it.. Thanks!! :)
Could it also be saying though that there isn't such a connection as there isn't the ease of communication?
I mean there have been guys I've liked where the words have flowed fine - I guess he's just a wee bit cuter ;)
 

willowfox

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Could it also be saying though that there isn't such a connection as there isn't the ease of communication?
I mean there have been guys I've liked where the words have flowed fine - I guess he's just a wee bit cuter ;)

You need determination so stop with the doubts otherwise you are just going to bite your own tail and get nowhere. There is a connection but there is a barrier across the road, so get out of your car and raise the barrier, then proceed along your way.
 

em ching

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yeah that sounds about right in theory and hopefully in practice the next time I encounter him or similar!
Will ask how to overcome this general attitude when it feels right - don't want to get 'Youthful Folly' etc.. and maybe i know myself really - Confidence is key!...

Just a thought on the I-ching - I have found that yes I usually ney always get relevant answers and am definately more familiar with some hexagrams than others - and have not had hexagrams such as the creative, receptive, army, and other less specific ones as much- have you found this?

Probably it's cause I ask similar questions - mostly regarding love/ relationships...

Gunna try that experiment in another thread asking the question which hexagram has the greatest meaning to me and my life purpose etc..
That should be interesting..

Sometimes,the more I am encouraged by the I-Ching the more I worry ergh what if I get a hexagram that seems totally irrelevant!
Hasn't happened yet though and shouldn't probe too much - It just works! :bows:
 

Tony_L

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Well, since then my thoughts have been wee bit pre-occupied but I KNOW it's just fantasy land - as I'm too awkward etc, but just to see I asked the I-ching - I got Hex 21 which I read a very relevant interpretation of online: 'Self-deception dividing you from yourself' it also relates to acknowledging the truth and maybe talking? (I'm trying to get better at that) ...
Anyway then I asked again online (dunno if that's such an accurate or good way to speak to the i-ching?) and got 22-Grace which I also need more of..

From reading your post, I wondered if the Yi is presenting you with two possible self-images that you have some choice about:
21: Once this attractive guy "bites into" my self-image, he will encounter something tough, hard, or distasteful. So I shouldn't let him get too close. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, so I'd best not let him get a taste of me.
VERSUS
22: I'm a graceful and beautiful young woman and this attractive guy would enjoy getting to know me.
Maybe the Yi is saying that your old self-limiting beliefs and attitudes are leading you to behave like 21 but that once you shed those beliefs and let your true self shine through, 22 is the potential result.

Take care,

Tony
 

em ching

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Hex 61 changing to hex 54

Hi,

Just consulted again asking what is my obstruction/ how can I bite through this problem (with the guy in question at the back of my mind though realistically I don't think anything could happen with him specifically) and I got hex 61 'Inner Truth' with 3 changing lines - (not too sure but I think they mean changing to hex 54 'The Marrying Maiden' which I'm not sure bodes too well for a romance with the guy in question??)

Anyway reading the interpretation of Inner Truth the idea of 'inner dependence' stands out: 'the more reliance he places on the support of others the more uneasy he will become' - which has been me in a nut-shell since I was a teenager!!!

It's also amazing as during my encounter with this guy, though it was fun at times, overall I'd say it could be characterised by this line: ' If is words are not well spoken, he meets with contradiction at a distance of more than a thousand miles' (From the Wilhelm translation) and he did go and sit with his friends when he came back in the room, although I was about to leave and we don't know each other that well...

Anyway I think inner truth basically says I need to express my true self more assuredly in order to influence people, instead of bending to others/ trying to impress or showing my sense of inferiority by being nervous/ shy etc.. though I guess a degree of that is good too!! (ie humility etc)

Do you think though that the hexagram changing to 'The Marrying Maiden' suggests something could happen with this guy?

And does inner truth suggest there could be an inner connection or more that I need to face reality (like Biting Through!!) and accept that at the moment because of my restrictions (that I place on myself? He's unnatainable?

Thanks, :)
 

Trojina

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I saw your answer like this. Hex 21 is about biting through obstacles, cutting the crap to get to the truth which might take some determination, energy and hardness - like biting :D So the way it stands now with the guy you don't know the truth of his feelings or how things are between you so could it be 21 is saying take some measures to discover the truth ? How you might do that I don't know, a little investigation, a little more open flirting ? For example if you said "i'm going to x tonite" in front of him or to him see if he turns up ? I don't know exactly the best way to go about that..maybe your girl friends wlll have some tips.
 

em ching

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Hmm well there will be an event soon where I can attempt that sort of thing and talk to him more - could give flirting a go hey why not eh! :flirt: and hopefully bite through the issue! although he'll probably be surrounded by people.. but nuff with this defeatism!

Any commentary on Hex 61 'inner truth' to 54 'the marrying maiden' though??

I mean basically I do feel that I'm probably currently off on a flight of fancy which is kinda fun (in my head) but been here before.. need to keep it in check really.. but you never know..?
 

willowfox

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Just consulted again asking what is my obstruction/ how can I bite through this problem got hex 61.4,5,6 > hex 54

Well, the obstruction lies within your head, so the lines are saying that you need determination, you should not take any notice of other people, just do your own thing with confidence and truly believe in yourself, believe that you can do it. So, determination, confidence and belief will overcome your shyness and restraint, and your inability to put yourself forward.
 

em ching

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Thanks yeah that's great - so obvious really... it is my plan of action though!

However last night I couldn't sleep as I was fantasising about the prospect (Haven't been out for a while been stuck in doing uni work :brickwall:

And then I was like whoa! stop this nonsense now - it's a passing crush girl!! And so I asked the I-ching - 'did I get under his skin?' (ie is it at all reciprocated)
And got Inner Truth again! (it's amazing when that happens isn't it?)
But this time the changing lines to 33 - Retreat..

So there is my answer isn't it!?

:eek:
 

steve

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Hi
I see hex 21 in this situation , possibly a hurdle or something u need to conquer
yea something in you
Stand up and be counted, i say

Steve
 

em ching

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Hex 43 - breakthrough!

Hello,

Well as I related this little story last week I just thought I'd carry it on -
I saw the mentioned guy again today and it was good - but I'd say quite chummy - ie he's just a friendly confident guy that I like, but I don't think he sees me in that way - judging from his manner etc..

Anyway when I goy back I just asked whether he does or not? (Though in my heart I think know)
And I got 43 - Breakthrough - with no changing lines.

Now since I last posted this I have kind of changed my outlook on life - it's crazy but yes - i mean i think i've got a way to go still probably - but I'm just approaching people more openly, considering myself everyone's equal more and thus have been more confident so it's good!

I think 'breakthrough' says that the encounter has taught me something about myself - but not to push for anything more (ie a romance type thing)
Is that right?

I feel good about it though - making friends is more important anyway and anything else will happen naturally if there's a proper connection.. and i don't think there is especially with him - i'd just perhaps like there to be :rolleyes:
 

willowfox

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Hex 43

This says that there is a problem between you that he needs to sort out and quickly but will he do something about it or will he just wait and see if the problem disappears of its own accord, so if he does nothing then things between you will progressively get worse. There is a definite problem here.
 

em ching

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Ah ok yeah that probs makes sense - don't think it's gunna happen with him... ah well..

Read this interpretation online which was quite fitting :

"Thoroughness is required when preparing new soil, so that the remnant seeds of past problems are not allowed to sprout up again. When starting a new project after solving a problem, take care to see that any destructive tendencies in your personality are overcome or balanced at the beginning. "

i.e. try not to let my slight new burst of confidence be undermined again because someone I like ain't on the same page...

I guess I shall just have to move on!!
 

em ching

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So it could be a breakthrough in the sense that I am starting to realise inferior elements within myself that need pushing out (like the Yang line)

Or that he is pushing me out as an inferior?

Again a very relevant answer considering my recent train of thoughts and the consequences of my encounter with him.. :bows:
 

em ching

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I meant to say like the Yin line oops...
And I don't think I'm inferior but maybe he kind of does.. in a social sense..
:eek: sorry for going on everyone!
 

em ching

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Hex 43

Just read this interpretation in a previous shared reading by bruce g :

'In matters of love/romance/relationships, insecurity is the worst message to send to a potential mate, lover or friend. The way to security is in being prepared, even for the worst. If the inside is fortified, there’s no alarm. You hold yourself “up”, not fold under pressure or compromise your seal'

Which i thought was pretty apt! (it's probably the message i sometimes send out)

I don't think this hex is too straightforward...?
but I guess no hexagram can give a yes/no or positive/ negative answer as it's all relative and situations are multi-faceted :)

Would you agree with bruce's interpretation?
Does the hexagram suggest worrying too much about potential dangers generally due to inner weakness? Or that I need to break away from the idea of him as there is a prob?

Thanks...
 

ben_s

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I'm just approaching people more openly, considering myself everyone's equal more and thus have been more confident

Just my opinion, not the oracle's...
that sounds great! :)
 

em ching

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Thanks very much for the encuraging words!
And in any case, I do feel I have had a breakthrough so in that way it was a very appropriate hexagram to get I think!
:D
 

em ching

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Hex 51-34

Hi,

I am not obsessing over this (well maybe a bit) but I am generally thinking que sera sera about it :)
However I asked the I ching (one last time I think!) does he have feelings for me?
And got 51 'The Arousing' changing to 34 'The Power of the Great'.

I think this is saying I'm going to be shocked into a realisation soon (probs that he doesn't as he has my number and could contact but hasn't..),
and maybe hex 34 is saying that it will affect me positively?
maybe because I'm feeling more confident at the mo and will get over it ('that which does not kill me makes me stronger' in other words)

Is this the correct assumption with these two?

Thing is I did ask about his feelings but have again interpreted them as relating to my position.. which is perhaps generally all the info the I ching can do...?

Or if the hexagrams are speaking of his feelings, what are they saying?

Thanks again :)
 

em ching

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Any interpretations of what 51 - 34 is saying?
Sorry to be bothersome but from reading Wilhelm's descriptions etc I can't seem to distill them into general pointers, ie a nutshell! if there is one..

So any help would be greatly appreciated :eek:
 

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