An emotionally charged and critically important: 50.3 changing to 64

[flipflops]

I have been following this website for years and years and it has bought me great comfort.. this is my first shared question..

I recently decided to go ahead with assisted reproduction to have child - on my own as I have always wanted a family and my relationships to date have not been fruitful in this regard. Medical advice is that for me it is now or never.. I cannot wait and continue to have expectations of successfully conceiving because of my age and medical situation.

So I started the process and had surgery ahead of the treatment and a few weeks before of my clinic appointment I met a man.. who I had a rare connection with.. I shared with him my intentions to have baby on my own and my impending clinic appointment.. still, he pursued me and we dated and now 2 months later we are in a relationship that is meaningful and connected - I cancelled my appointment pending the development of things between us..

Last night we had an upsetting evening where he said he didn't know if he would want to have more children (he's divorced with 2 grown up boys) and that he felt i should pursue my original course.. but now I have fallen for him I don't want to go down this route.. I don't want to lose him now even if that means my dreams of becoming a mother are lost.. i have fallen quite deeply, though I am also a little annoyed - I was derailed and feel hamstrung.. I am left needing to chose between him or a baby (on my own).. still, it is rare for me to feel this way with another so the question was (assessing the risk): How will my relationship with X be in the long-term if I let go of my dream of becoming a mother?

The answer I received was: 50.3 changing to 64

I find the resulting hexagrams so interesting - the vessel - like the womb with the rain lessening regrets and 64 - not yet across... they seem hopeful to me? That it is indeed worth the risk of choosing the love of a man over the hope of a child and a perhaps single life..

I'd be so grateful for your insights and wisdom.

 

[Tim K]

I think that Yi's answer is partial, and only refers to the letting go of being a mother.
64 losing/retreating when the goal has almost been reached - cancelling the appointment at the last minute, having done a surgery and preparation.

applied to 50, in 50.3 we see - throwing away of the meal when it's ready, changing the handles/course.
Yi sympathizes with your cause, but .3 does promise success after the rain falls (release of tension caused by desire to be a mother). After some time you'll forget about that.

I think that Universe sent you this man in an hour of need, it can't just be a plain coincidence.
You have a good relationship based on a deep connection, I think you should hold on to him.

Best wishes, Tim

 

[flipflops]

Oh Tim, I feel you are right. It has had a strangely cosmic and karmic vibe about it. Thank you so much for your words and taking the trouble to share your wisdom.

 

[flipflops]

As an update, the relationship continued with diminishing efforts on his part.. despite the fact I had thought we had something special and profound - It felt real.. he said he likewise had strong feelings.. and then it began to feel "off".. little discrepancies that didn't add up.. I discovered he was not really invested at all (and with an active online dating profile). Difficult to know what to make of his rationale for his behaviour.. I don't think he is a bad man but he was careless with my heart and dreams and I suspect in the midst of a mid life crisis.. a woman choosing a baby over him may have been a great boost to his self esteem and sense of diminishing virility?? So on reflection in this case I read 50.3 as me not having heard the truth.. allowing a deception/delusion to guide me - which made me open and vulnerable 'moveable' in this case from my dream of having a child and literally in that I moved to live closer to this man..

He was undergoing a transformation which meant he was no use to me (mid life crisis online dating with strange photos and claiming to be 7 years younger)..

I was used, it's been painful and now my ears truly have been radically changed. I have been changed by this experience.. and whilst painful I have lost some of my childlike naivity and trust which I think will serve me in the future (rain lessens regrets?) for one of the first times in my life I confronted square on my doubts and concerns and responded to the instinct and guidance that something was off.. I reactivated an online dating account and found him there and then confronted him with this.. I spoke my truth in a way that has empowered me - and did so ahead of a meeting we had scheduled to try and work through our future - so mirroring the previous cancelling of the appointment at the last minute, having had a surgery though actually in this case referring to my cancelling at the last minute (and saving of myself I think) via online research and confrontation. Hopefully after some time - I'll forget about him.

This reading goes to show I think (especially for the novice) that we can interpret readings especially when so full of hope (and in the initial heady throws of romance) in ways that serve our hopes rather than from reality..

 

[Tohpol]

This reading goes to show I think (especially for the novice) that we can interpret readings especially when so full of hope (and in the initial heady throws of romance) in ways that serve our hopes rather than from reality..

This can't be repeated often enough. Thanks for taking the time to update.

 

[flipflops]

I think also I have learned something important about Yi's direct answering - I asked a specific question about how my relationship would be and Yi answered very clearly the question I had asked - and that was about the future of my relationship. This is no criticism in any way of ashteroid's interpretation which I remain thankful for.. though I was so keen to hear something positive that I choose to agree that Yi was answering a different question about the background circumstances - it wasn't. Yi was very clear about the question I had asked and utterly accurate with its judgement.

Additionally - I believe ashteroid may have be accurate in that this man was sent to me for me to learn this important lesson and have my ears radically changed! It all had to happen.. I am wiser and more enlightened for it.. painful as it is..

 

[flipflops]

 

[mirian]

Hi flipflops,

When I came across your thread I immediately started thinking about hex 50.3 > 64 before realising that there was already a development and your feedback. By the way, thank you for sharing. The point I am trying to make is that it doesn't make sense to me that 50.3 > 64 was just about the lesson you have learnt. You have become more skeptical, pragmatic, less naive? Is that all that 50.3 > 64 represents? My experience of this reading is that it would go well beyond that. Your question was about the future of a relationship that would make you giving up having a child. A prediction with a very strong backdrop, in fact the focal point of your reading (your dream and project, a child of your own). So it would be very interesting to see how this reading plays out, as in my view it is not finished yet.

 

[flipflops]

Hi Mirian,

This is very interesting.. thank you for taking the time to comment..

I think there's something about my ears being changed! I have been transformed.. it did have a very strong backdrop as you say, though.. was the focal point of my reading about the project of having a child? you're right in that I asked how the relationship would be if I let go of the dream of being a mother.. and you've hit on something Mirian that I hadn't recognised - I thought I had just asked the question about how the relationship would be... but in fact I asked how it would be if i gave up my dream of being a mother.. and perhaps the relationship has been massively influenced by the fact that he now feels that the relationship is entirely influenced by the fact I have given up on my dream as do I.. hmm.. that is interesting... though there have been other developments here that I posted in another thread..
(http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...elationship-50-gt-61-and-in-depth-questioning)

I think he has been duplicitous and that I cannot trust him.. i will keep you posted.. I have deleted his contact details so any developments will be from his side now..

what do you see developing though?

thank you for your comments x

- the more I reflect on this the more I realise I haven't been able to let go of the dream.. it's the first thing I thought of pursuing when things ended between us this week.. now it's what's on my mind... hmm maybe I've been duplicitous!?

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi flipflops!

Thanks for sharing your process in community ~ change with support is not so bad, huh?

As far as duplicity goes, it seems the fairest thing to say, imho, is that everyone with an ego is being duplicitous ~ I love the Harper Lee quote above! Not only are we going to 'see' and 'hear' what we are most interested in seeing and hearing...we're also going to tell ourselves a story about it...one that we believe contains the real 'truth' of our situation...oftentimes ignoring, or turning a blind eye to, counterfactual information.

So, if toast is the 'what is' of our warm experience in the present moment, then 'jam' is the story we spread over it...by fixating on a part of that experience and 'filling-in-the-gaps' with our own narrative ~ a repetitive process that I call "grasping and dwelling on objects in the stream of thoughts."

Meditatively speaking, as long as you are in the washer machine, you are going to 'project' your own fears and insecurities ~ your own psychology ~ onto everything you see and hear, including readings.

This is where the power of meditation comes in ~ it reconnects you to the toast, as it is, through mental non-action while remaining presently alive to experience ~ so, direct experience, unalloyed.

Like manna, it's all that you need to see and hear clearly, and therefore to know and do effortlessly.

Ultimately, the 'answer' to our dissatisfying life 'stories' isn't to be found in our stories, or our storytelling, but rather in the cessation of the narration process, which leads to the healing of "two-ness" ~ duplicity ~ back into its original oneness ~ authenticity...

...the authenticity of seeing and hearing things as they are, instead of things as we want them to be.

I hope you find this helpful!

 

[Tim K]

I am naive and just want for everyone to be happy, so there was some bias in my interpretation of course.

Rereading the question and 50.3 I think 'throwing away of the meal when it's ready' symbolized end of the relationship itself. A direct answer indeed. After some initial attraction and seemingly good 'soup' it was just thrown away. And also a hint about your dream of being a mom - 'One is impeded in his way of life.' He did stop you for a while.

Yi still remains somewhat cryptic to me, oh well, live an learn, live and learn.


Please don't lose your openness and naivety, accepting the world as it is, without filters and preconceptions is a wonderful way to live. Being like a child is a bliss.

One of the best Tarot cards (19. The Sun) symbolizes just that:

 

[mirian]

"How will my relationship with X be in the long-term if I let go of my dream of becoming a mother?"

Hi flipflops,

I am very keen on really focusing on questions and see how answers relate to them. So when you look at your question above (which the Yi responded with 50.3 > 64) the answer was the structure of your life, represented by the cauldron, was somehow damaged and your resources wasted. The relationship didn't work, your plans of having a child overturned. Your reading embodied both aspects, both affected by unfavourable conditions. But there are good prospects when you look into line 3 interpretation. It is unfinished business, and the question is what happens next and where you go from this point.

Flipflops, please don't suffer too much as decisions in life are ever so difficult to make, sometimes we get them right, sometimes we don't. Hope that helps a bit.:bows:

 

[flipflops]

Hi Radiofreewill!

It is a blessing indeed to experience support through change..

The washing machine! Yes - this has been my head for the last few weeks! I have practiced meditation regularly - at times somewhat obsessively (which I think is ironic?! never sure of the correct definition of irony and don't think Alanis Morissette has helped any of us with clarity around that!)

It's been a while though since I've been daily meditating.. in fact almost the same amount of time I was in relationship with this man.. hmm.. I think I need to return to this practice.

I do worry that I use Yi to ask questions so much now.. in an almost addictive fashion and without the tools/insight to interpret the responses - that I have given over my power to a resource I don't have the skills to interpret accurately.. it's a little uncomfortable.

I so wish I truly understood what had happened here...as much as anything so I can really learn from it and not make the same mistakes again.. I probably never really will - though I have started asking Yi some questions about the role each of us had in the relationship's decline which I will bore you all with on another thread!

I do find your response very helpful thank you.

 

[flipflops]

Hello ashteroid,

Thank you for your response. How can any of us really know..?! though this does sound right - the soup analogy.. and I did do a lot of cooking of nice meals for this man! Oh.. nothing ventured hey..?

I agree being childlike is good.. it hasn't served me that well though you know.. very painful disillusionments when I've trusted with all my heart and found that trust was not placed in safe hands - it's scary to find yourself there. More and more now I am thinking my protective adult needs to step in and say 'enough!'.. maybe they can walk hand in hand adult and child..?

Blessings and thanks for the beautiful tarot card image.. triggers all my maternal instincts!

 

[flipflops]

Thank you Mirian,

I think the worst thing now - is that I felt in a very strong clear place about assisted conception and it had taken a lot to get there.. emotionally, mentally, practically and this emotional knock now has left me feeling less empowered and capable.. I might get over this more quickly than I imagine.. I don't know.. perhaps the good prospects are that I will decide to go ahead now and return to my initial plan of conceiving.. or maybe it's something else positive that will come from this... I'll keep you posted! Thanks for your kind words.

without wanting to sound too depressive - it's also made me think about people in the world and I'm not sure I want to bring someone else into the world to face these difficulties without the support of a bigger/stronger family unit..

 

[flipflops]

ps maybe the throwing away of the soup was the near pregnancy after all...

 

[diamanda]

Ashteroid - being able to remain childlike is a blessing indeed. And yet, at the same time, we do need to protect ourselves. I believe that trusting (anyone) blindly is a big mistake. I prefer the 'first wait and see' way, i.e. trust needs to be gained and built - not handed over without knowing the other person. Once we know we're in "safe hands", we can trust and be childlike without getting harmed. Not a good idea to 'accept sweets from strangers'! (at least that's what we were told as kids where I come from)

it's also made me think about people in the world and I'm not sure I want to bring someone else into the world to face these difficulties without the support of a bigger/stronger family unit..

I salute your wise realistic thoughts flipflops Speaking from personal experience (and lack), a big and loving family unit is the best basis to start one's life. All people I know who have that (unfortunately not many), have thrived throughout life.

 

[flipflops]

difficult to tell even then though with trust and decency.. i have found even with caution - it can seem another is trustworthy/ a safe pair of hands and then that changes.. was it an act? who knows.. some people (mostly men at the thought of an intimate relationship in my experience) initially go to great lengths with displays of consideration and kindness.. and once the chase has been completed... their attention, consideration and trustworthiness can be gone.. how to assess the decency of another is very tricky! I like to think I have good judgement and instincts though have fallen prey to this a few times now.

Diamanda, I know what you mean about family and I largely agree... in fact i do have a sister with 3 children and brother who will surely have children and we are all close - so in a sense I would be bringing a child into a community very much with their love and support so whilst it would be a solo venture - the child would have a big and loving family if I went ahead.. when I wrote the bit about a bigger/stronger family unit I was referring to my immediate lack of a relationship and partner (and therefore father) - which remains the current reality.. though I am blessed by a supportive family.

have you seen the documentary first comes love?

 

[diamanda]

Yes I know what you mean, very difficult indeed to know when to trust and invest more, especially in romantic relationships where our feelings interfere with logic.

in fact i do have a sister with 3 children and brother who will surely have children and we are all close - so in a sense I would be bringing a child into a community very much with their love and support

That does sound like one big loving family indeed, tick-box number 1 checked! I haven't seen the documentary but I just watched the trailer, looks very honest and interesting.

 

[flipflops]

It's very clever the way you and others are highlighting text to response! I will try and learn how to do this..

Yes I think it could work.. I am not sure though.. it is perhaps going against the flow somehow.. we'll see.. the documentary is really great.. thanks again for your words and thoughts.

Best,
s