An inheritance: 20:5 - 23

[deepstillwater]

My grandfather was quite a wealthy man, and on his death a number of years ago I learnt that my father's share of his estate (as he is also deceased) will pass to myself and my brother and sister.

The estate itself would not be divided until the death of my grandmother. Unfortunately, she passed away about four months ago.

My father was the youngest of three boys, and I have found the two older sons (my uncles) extraordinarily difficult to deal with about it. They give out no information, even when asked, although I have a perfectly good right to know. When I asked the estate solicitor for information about what was the estate (as I knew nothing except that there was an inheritance) after grandad died I got an angry responce from the eldest uncle, and he told everyone I was "desperate" for money etc.

A close aunt from that side has confided that she fears there is some underhanded business going on from them, and she is worried that I and my brother and sister will see nothing from the estate.

I asked the I ching. "What would be the best way to approach the issue of the Will?"
20: 5 - 23
I see this as a clear indication I need to get involved directly, and closely. (Not an easy matter!). The spliting apart (normally a hexigram I see as a danger warning) in this instance could be fortunate.

I also asked " What is the current situation regarding my grandfather's will?"
And a very similar responce.
20: 1,2,5,6 - 19

So that is very clear! But how? Do I need a solicitor to push for my interests?
I have two options for solicitors,

my mother's (I ching said 56:1,3,4,6 - 24)

or one which I have used in the past and have benefited from his help (56: 3,5,6 - 45)


ARGH!

 

[themis]

Hello Deepstillwater,

Perhaps you'll need a new lawyer. Surely you need not limit your choice to your Mother's or the one
formerly used. The top line in 56 indicates failure, loss, etc.

You could seek advice from the IC on how best to deal with your Uncles /what you should expect
from them / whether it would be advisable to engage the services of a new lawyer. In case you receive a somewhat ambiguous response, you could enquire what would be the upside/benefit of ...
The info. from your Aunt is certainly enlightening ...
'To be forewarned is to be forearmed.'

Wishing you every success in your endeavours.

T

 

[willowfox]

You need to get a copy of your grandfather's will, otherwise you are just left to guess what it contains and what you are entitled to, therefore a lawyer's services are definitely required and I would go with your own if I were you.

 

[deepstillwater]

Thanks Themis and Willowfox,
I already have a copy of the will (I got that from the estate solicitor after my grandfather died) and I know what I am entitled to by law.

My gut feeling from the two questions about gaining my own solicitor is that it would be unfortunate (particularly the last line "burning one own's nest" - burning away my interitance in solicitor's fees/excessing fighting costs?!).

My impression is that the use of any solicitor would be very unfavourable.

I've been thinking, perhaps the key is in my own involvement. As the I ching says, if my father had been alive I would be been only an minor observer (the peasant) but I am actually the one who must take charge and be involved.

blerg!

 

[willowfox]

So, as a private citizen, how would you get this sorted out, as what authority do you have, as being a recipient is not enough to force obstinate family members to move of their backsides.

 

[peter2610]

Inheritance

Hello Deepstillwater,

'What would be the best way to approach the issue of the Will?' - Hex 20,5 - 23

Hex 20 is often concerned with how we view a given situation, and (for the two top yang lines) how others view our conduct and behaviour. The fact that you've received this hexagram twice seems to point to stepping back and taking another look.
Fifth yang - 'Contemplation of my life, the superior man is without blame' - is, I would suggest, urging you to remain blameless in a situation where your actions are observed by others and likely to influence how they respond. At the top of the upper nuclear trigram Ken, Mountain, and in resonance with 2nd yin, fifth yang's actions are viewed clearly by others. Wilhelm's commentary 'A man...must always be ready for self-examination...in examining the effects one produces' - indicates taking a good look at your position and being careful about your effect on others. The Zhi Gua for this line, Hex 23, often indicates loss of faith in the universal process leading to our 'Splitting' from our path and from others. Your question was asking about the 'best' way to approach the issue, this answer is saying examine your take on this and be aware that others will respond according to the effect you produce.

'What is the current situation regarding my grandfather's Will?' - Hex 20,1,2,5,6 - 19

Again the I Ching is framing its answer within the context of viewing and appraisal of the situation. Line 1 - 'Boylike contemplation' - is suggesting that your view on this is inappropriate. Second yin, 'Contemplation through the crack in the door' - is suggesting that your assessment of the situation could be narrow, partial and possibly self-centered (don't worry about comments like this from the I Ching, we all get them and without them how could we possibly grow). The Zhi Gua for this line, Hex 59, Dispersion, reflects the need to disperse the danger of a wrong, narrow view.
Top yang represents taking a view that is unencumbered by personal concerns, 'liberated from his ego' one can see things from a more universal perspective, the big picture. The Zhi Gua for this line, Hex 8, Holding Together, indicates having faith in, and holding to, the universal process.
Hex 19, Approach, suggests that this is a propitious time to move forward with the time. In the context of your question, it indicates moving forward with the general consensus. To summarize: Examine your take on this situation, try to take a wider perspective and move on with the general flow of events.

The two solicitor questions both came back with Hex 54, Kuei Mei - in this context, the action contemplated is inappropriate, it's unlikely to work, dead in the water, a non-runner.

Peter

 

[deepstillwater]

Ahhhhhh, I see.
Thank you Peter!

Perhaps the view that my uncle (although a few people have said to me that they are suspicious of what he is doing) has clouded my judgement that was already narrow.

There are laws regarding wills that must be followed, and I'm sure the executor solicitor of the estate would not be risking his career.

I think I will call or send a letter to my uncle and ask him what is the "general consensus" is at this time. I will be very careful to watch how I "appear" to them in this matter - I've already blotted my copy book in the past.

 

[ace]

20.5>23

off and running so not alot of time but ...

it strikes me as "a Will" being a rather interesting image for 23. The process seems to "cut to the chase" or focuses on the essential aspects of life (and death). Paring down the non-essentials and cut to the core/essential, so to speak.

20 is the process of watching and being watched. Sound like exacting what is happening.

20.5 may be inviting you to watch your own life (really SEE yourself), as you are watching the process of the WIll or process of "this cutting to the core/essentials" unfolding. LISE's interpretation of the fan yao (23.5) here may be interesting. This cast a bit of light on 20.5 for me. It may be-- watch your own life and possibly actions/behaviour in this 23 context, because here you are certainly being watched.

Good luck!!

 

[gato]

20.5-23 Analyze past events regarding your interest. Do not act.

Hope it helps :bows:

 

[ginnie]

I asked the I ching. "What would be the best way to approach the issue of the Will?"
20: 5 - 23

The situation is deteriorating because everybody is getting focused on 'what's in it for me' -- that is, greed and self-aggrandizement will eventually completely take the field.

There is this watching going on. You are watching them and they are watching you.

Sometimes it is said that 20.5 signifies watching how human nature works. Yes, we can observe from a distance, but it is not admirable unless we can serve the situation in some constructive way. To serve is to rule, says the I Ching, not here, but somewhere.

 

[ginnie]

I also asked " What is the current situation regarding my grandfather's will?" 20: 1,2,5,6 - 19

Lines 1 and 2, peeking and hiding. Yi does not consider this admirable or mature. Lines 5 & 6 again have to do with everybody in the family keeping a watch on everybody else, probably all wanting to eventually get a nice slice of the pie -- if there is indeed any pie left.

You might not have the temperament required to hire a lawyer and conduct a lawsuit against difficult family members. Some people actually enjoy legal procedures. Do you have someone like that in your family with whom you might form an alliance?

 

[deepstillwater]

Hi Ginnie
You are right, I do not have the temperament for that.

Already I am sick of the whole thought of all of it.

My aunt, who I mentioned before, is very involved with that side of the family and yet very vocal. She urged me quite strongly to get a solicitor, and she has told me a few people have mentioned to her that they are finding things suspicious around my uncle and the will etc. Unfortunately, my uncle will choose to blame my mother (who is not at all involved) or my aunt for their "influence" on me if I was to pursue a solicitor...

I can see why the I Ching says everyone is peeking and hiding! I believe at least some of the peeking is out of concern for myself, my brother and sister, as these people have nothing to gain from the will. Well-intentioned, although perhaps not admirable.

I'd thought I would try to contact my uncle, not on this matter but just a general hello and to let him know when I might be in town to stop in for a cup of tea. I thought what the situation really needs was direct communication without any thought of the will.

I'm not afraid of conflicts, but this situation is ridiculas!

 

[willowfox]

My impression is that the use of any solicitor would be very unfavourable.

Let us know how much you achieve without one. If you don't use a lawyer sooner rather than later, then I don't think you will see any inheritance.

 

[deepstillwater]

Let us know how much you achieve without one. If you don't use a lawyer sooner rather than later, then I don't think you will see any inheritance.

Willowfox, other people in my family have expressed the same to me.
I have patiently thought over this matter, and read all the careful interpretations here.
I can only do what I think will be best, although it may look foolish to others.
Thank you everyone.

 

[ginnie]

I believe at least some of the peeking is out of concern for myself, my brother and sister, as these people have nothing to gain from the will.

I'd thought I would try to contact my uncle, not on this matter but just a general hello and to let him know when I might be in town to stop in for a cup of tea. I thought what the situation really needs was direct communication without any thought of the will.

I'm not afraid of conflicts, but this situation is ridiculas!

My total sympathies, Deep. I like your plan of going to see your uncle for a cup of tea.
When the I Ching gave you hexagram 19 as your relating hexagram, I believe it meant that you are to approach your uncle.

You might extend to him the same respect you would extend to anybody else, and you do seem like a great guy. If I were you I would ask him if there's anything you might do for him, to dispel the malicious gossip in your family that all you want is money for yourself.

Inheritance is actually a branch of the law, you know. These documents are legal documents. The rule of law is very important to our civilized way of life. A lawyer that deals with inheritances is very specialized and very good at securing for the beneficiaries their rightful inheritances. If your uncle cannot be dealt with in a friendly manner, then maybe you, your brother, and your sister can get together and engage the services of a lawyer. At least, I wouldn't rule this out.

But you're not at that point.

 

[deepstillwater]

Continued developments - continued difficulties

Hello everyone

I thought I might update on what happened when I visited my Uncle in Australia in August (see previous posts in thread) I was travelling back from the UK for two weeks, so it was the only opportunity in 2 years i would have to see him in person.

I sent my uncle a letter, telling him about my visit in August and that I would like to visit him and talk about the matter. I was careful about my tone, and while I didn't receive a reply when I was in Australia I rang ahead they were quite nice and welcoming.

My uncle and I spoke about the inheritance, and i stayed for lunch and spent some time with them. It was nice to see everyone, and I did try my best to be friendly and accommodating, and to approach the issue of the inheritance with a view to find out what was best for the family and the farm.

While i was there I understood about what the I Ching was talking about with everyone "watching". That side of the family think we look down our noses at them (which we do not) and think we have airs and graces. My mum and sister find my uncle at least very rude, uncommunicative, abusive and unpredictable. He does like to drink a lot. It is easy to see how the situation of 20.5 developed.

He asked for me to give him my bank details for the solicitor, so the first payment of the inheritance could go in. Which I did, along with my brother and sister.

Unfortunately a month or two later, his computer crashed so he rang my mother (who lives in Australia a few towns away) and asked her to ask us to email the details again. So we did straight away.

Unfort. my uncle rang my mother late on Friday night (quite drunk she said) demanding our bank details - as it was quite late and my mother unfortuntely has bourne the brunt of his abuse quite unfairly over various issues during the years, she asked him to email us about it or send her an email listing what is needed and she would forward it.

My uncle became very abusive and yelled at her down the phone. My mother (who will not inherit anything, it was my father's inheritance and now he is dead it falls to their children - including me) is upset that she is increasingly being drawn into a situation that does not involve her and that she is the whipping boy for my uncle. And he cannot see reason or commonsence.

My sister (who now lives in the UK near me) and I will ring Uncle C tonight.

I asked the I ching: "how should I respond to Uncle C"

32.5 changing to 28.

Wow.

I'm guessing my actions should be perservering at all times.
That I should listen to him in a responsive manner, then act. But not in a way that I feel would compromise myself.

The whole situation will crumble (28) I imagine? That things are unstable and will change.

*sigh*

Am I on the right track with my assessment?

 

[ginnie]

I asked the I ching: "how should I respond to Uncle C"

32.5 changing to 28.

I'm guessing my actions should be perservering at all times.
That I should listen to him in a responsive manner, then act. But not in a way that I feel would compromise myself.

The whole situation will crumble (28) I imagine? That things are unstable and will change.

Dearest Deep,

The hex 28 signifies in my opinion that it is a very burdensome situation, not a situation that is crumbling. That is, it feels like just too much. Inheritance matters are like this in many families, not just your family.

Try not to get hung up on his alcoholism. After all, he lives thousands of miles and many time zones away from you. Please remind your mother of this, too. He cannot harm either of you.

Don't make mountains out of molehills. Forget about your uncle. Focus on how to complete the paperwork required by the bank.

The problem is that the bank does not have your details, not that your uncle does not have your details. The bank needs to know how to get your inheritance to you.

You mentioned an executor -- Why isn't the executor acting as the liaison with the bank? Do you have the telephone number or address of the executor?

What about the law firm that drew up your grandfather's will? Would a solicitor/lawyer in that office agree to convey your bank details to the proper bank?

What about an accountant? Do you or your mother have the name of any accountant who did your grandfather's or your father's taxes? If your mother has in her possession any tax-related papers, then maybe you can connect with such an accountant, who might be able to help you with the banking matters.

Hope this is helpful ...

 

[rosada]

Thank you for keeping us informed of the ongoing situation. Being able to see how things actually work out helps us learn.

I googled "32.5 I Ching" and found an author who interpreted 32.5 as specifically referring to someone who is blamed for something not their responsibility. Sounded like an exact reference to your mother. I didn't really see where this gave guidance as to what you should do about it though. Maybe 28. collapse is referring to the computer crashing. Perhaps you should send your uncle both an email and a letter with your contact information so he will not have to bother your mother should anything like this happen again.

I am unclear as to why you are having to go through your uncle for information. Shouldn't the executor of the estate, be dealing be dealing with you directly?
-Rosada

 

[ginnie]

I am unclear as to why you are having to go through your uncle for information. Shouldn't the executor of the estate, be dealing be dealing with you directly?
-Rosada

Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too.

 

[deepstillwater]

Hi Rosada and ginnie,

Thanks for the info on 32.5 - I think that is very apt. My poor mum gets blamed unfairly (many times unfortunatly) by that side.

I think 28 sums up my feelings towards the situation - it is too much negotiating deep-seated family divisions/completely different views/money issues.

I think you are right though - no need to make a mountain out of it (familys are complicated by nature!) and just get on with it.

I talked to my sister after posting and we agreed we would send the solicitor of the inheritance a letter with our details and addresses. We will ring out Uncle and let him know thats what we will do, because it is the easiest thing to do.

While it seems strange, going through my Uncle I thought was the method most direct and least likely of offence.

Years ago, when the inheritage was first raised I asked the exector of the will what the inheritance actually entailed because I didn't know anything about it and as I was the eldest child I though perhaps I should find out for myself and siblings - which threw my Uncle in an angry furious frenzy.

He spoke to all the family members that I was "desperate for money" and that my mother or aunt had put me up to it - all of which was untrue and grossly unjust. I only asked what the inheritence was and what was going to be done to help run the farm which has been in our family since the
1860s.

Plus the I Ching did caution the first time I asked (see first post of the thread "What would be the best way to approach the issue of the Will?" 20: 5 - 23
"What is the current situation regarding my grandfather's will?" 20: 1,2,5,6 - 19) .

I saw this to be wary of how I might be percieved, that I should approach and be involved rather than peer from afar, and that fighting or obtaining my own soliciour would only dimish funds for no real gain.

This is why I've tried to deal direct with my uncle.

 

[ginnie]

Good for you, Deep! Your Uncle sounds like he has an irritable, impulsive temperament and an explosive temper. When dealing with him, try to remain polite and detached.

He has a lot of his own problems to deal with, so don't expect him to be able to help you much, either now or in the future ... sad to say.

But at least you're on the right track now about your inheritance.