angry at certain people's attitudes. - for why!!?

[em ching]

Hi,

I am nice to all - I just never feel that I don't like someone - unless they are rude or offensive.
However there are certain people who just seem to take a dislike to me - not to my face exactly - but I know instinctively - especially girls who seem strong minded etc.. there seems to be a type I'm noticing anyway.. and I don't know if I annoy them by being 'too' nice and they think I'm just trying to please or what, but recently a certain girl who I have made an effort with and we've had conversations etc but I still get a bad vibe and this has been realised because she left me out of something.

Now I am angry (which is good because usually I might think; yeah I'm an idiot I can see why she would take a dislike eventhough I have done nothing but try!)

So I asked the I-ching
What is her problem?
And got 44 - Coming to Meet (No moving lines)

Does that mean we just clash - like two bulls coming to meet?

It's just I hate conflicts where some people get off on bitching...
Do you find that there are certain types of people that take an instant dislike to you or you to them!?
I just don't understand the concept - I only ever dislike someone if they are mean, rude or arrogant..
I would appreciate your thoughts, or similar experiences?
'Coming to Meet' - does it just say inevitably there will be people who cannot like/ accept you? And if so why on earth should that be!!? To teach you a lesson about yourself?? ...

 

[mudpie]

Do you think this Is " a woman thing " of some kind? I have experienced it myself at times. It almost seems that women can be like cats, their territory easily threatened, claws come out for little reason, or sometimes no seeming reason at all.

you can even see the dynamic in children. boys tend to form big, easy loose groups where everybody is in, and they accept each other like bear cubs tumbling together. BUt little girls form tight circles and are very protective of their turf. If an unassuming new girl innocently attempts to join, the "mama cat" can be vicious but in those destructive subtle ways.

44, unchanging depicts this kind of powerful influence, but it also points to two players who can perhaps "come to meet" for a good purpose, if the initial power-play can be tempered and understood . Perhaps submission of some kind is called for, sort of like holding up your hands to prove you mean no harm, figuratively speaking. Offering a fig leaf so that the tension dies down. On the other hand, don't give away your power repeatedly by allowing yourself to be a victim. If another woman is not willing to meet you halfway, what's the point? keep your dignity and go find another friend(s).

women can be really good friends to each other. it can take time to build trust, IMO.
I have found that as I became less defensive (and perhaps less competitive), the more women friendships opened up

men are so much easier

 

[meng]

This is classic. Hilary should feature this somewhere for its irony.

Em Ching, respectfully, your approach here fits 44 to a tee. 44 is marked by a strong sense of entitlement, and indignation toward anything which does not recognize or bend to ones will. This isn't to say it's wrong to feel this way; it actually is the kind of force that can lead toward your goal, and/or make you very unpopular.

 

[willowfox]

This hex is telling you that this relationship cannot last anyway, she may appear to be friendly but this one has a hidden agenda and therefore not to be trusted, you have to pay special attention to her actions and not take any notice of what she says, she simply can't be called a friend. So, don't let her con you anymore, and don't over react about the situation but tell her straight if she approaches you again. You cannot trust her so stay away in future.

 

[Trojina]

Hi,


However there are certain people who just seem to take a dislike to me - not to my face exactly - but I know instinctively - especially girls who seem strong minded etc.. there seems to be a type I'm noticing anyway.. and I don't know if I annoy them by being 'too' nice and they think I'm just trying to please or what, but recently a certain girl who I have made an effort with and we've had conversations etc but I still get a bad vibe and this has been realised because she left me out of something.


So I asked the I-ching
What is her problem?
And got 44 - Coming to Meet (No moving lines)

Does that mean we just clash - like two bulls coming to meet?
:

I think what you say here, underlined, may have a bearing on the problem ? I often find 44 has to do with pushing past others comfort boundaries - or being pushed, in a way that feels too much. Like theres 'coming to meet' but its nice to have a choice to meet or not and in 44 someone might be ignoring someone elses choices. If the question was answered directly, and i have no way of knowing that, then the question 'does she have an issue with me' could indicate the issue she has is that she feels you are being too pushy, even if you are being 'nicely' pushy. You have to decide if thats a possibilty or not.

Your experience certainly is not a comfortable one as it involves what you feel is rejection, but rather than deal with what is in her mind perhaps you need to ask something that helps you deal with whats in yours such as "how can i best handle/react to her behaviour to me".

 

[meng]

I think what you say here, underlined, may have a bearing on the problem ? I often find 44 has to do with pushing past others comfort boundaries - or being pushed, in a way that feels too much. Like theres 'coming to meet' but its nice to have a choice to meet or not and in 44 someone might be ignoring someone elses choices. If the question was answered directly, and i have no way of knowing that, then the question 'does she have an issue with me' could indicate the issue she has is that she feels you are being too pushy, even if you are being 'nicely' pushy. You have to decide if thats a possibilty or not.

:bows:

 

[em ching]

This is classic. Hilary should feature this somewhere for its irony.

Em Ching, respectfully, your approach here fits 44 to a tee. 44 is marked by a strong sense of entitlement, and indignation toward anything which does not recognize or bend to ones will. This isn't to say it's wrong to feel this way; it actually is the kind of force that can lead toward your goal, and/or make you very unpopular.

Hi, Yeah maybe it is me somehow - but I won't really have cause to see her much now anyway and if I do I'll keep my distance. I don't know what I'm doing wrong just being friendly.. i dunno - yeah maybe I'm too many questions/ impatient with relationships and don't let them unfold naturally? who knows... on the other side of the coin I can be too quiet and reserved.. seems I just can't win sometimes...

I'm sure she doesn't hate me, but she doesn't seem to want to accept me and I'd like to stamp out whatever it is I do, to repel certain people - it doesn't happen that often but when it does it bothers me.. (I like balance to much I think - (libra yep))

Anyway to quote Meng - What are you saying will make me unpopular?
Wanting/ expecting people to naturally want to be my friend? like a sort of arrogant expectation? Because even if that's right, I don't have a hidden agenda to be as popular as I can regardless of if I deserve it or not.. I hope that's not what I do! To me, she is just being arrogantly dismissive.. but then it must be something I'm giving out!?
I may ask tomorrow what that could be...

Could 'Coming to meet' also be saying that we must accept in this world, that there are certain people who you just can't get on with (maybe it's a chemical or wavelength thing?) because yeah there are some people you take an instant dislike to even if you haven't spoken to them!..

 

[willowfox]

Could 'Coming to meet' also be saying that we must accept in this world, that there are certain people who you just can't get on with (maybe it's a chemical or wavelength thing?) because yeah there are some people you take an instant dislike to even if you haven't spoken to them!

That is correct, some people just instantly repulsive one, intuition I suppose and that is what Hex 44 is about, warning you that this is not your friend, so keep your distance, put trust in your instincts.

 

[Frankelmick]

em ching,

Hx 44 can be very sexual.

Alfred Huang says that one meaning of "Gou" is to copulate.

Could there be a subtle sexual element to this instinctive dislike that you occasionally experience?

Best wishes,

Mick

 

[em ching]

Erm don't think so
Well not with this particular person anyway...
I guess that's life some people can't or won't get one another. Though I never consciously instigate this! Which is what's frustrating as I don't enjoy bad feeling or see the need for it! Unless we were in battle...

 

[ben_s]

44 is about the pushy broad!

"furtively and unexpectedly obtrudes again from within and below...The maiden is powerful.
One should not marry such a maiden...The inferior thing seems so harmless and inviting that a man delights in it; it looks so small and weak that he imagines he may dally with it and come to no harm."

Maybe the reason you don't like her is that she really is mean, rude, and arrogant!

The oracle is telling you to quit wasting your time trying to make this gal your friend. Someone who really was good enough to be your friend wouldn't waste a second putting you down! (or anyone else!)

 

[em ching]

Hello,

Haha pushy broad seems quite fitting actually!
I asked 'What do I do to annoy her'?
And got 44. 4, 6 ('Coming to meet' again - I love it when this happens - it reaffirms my faith that the oracle is speaking of my specific situation and it cannot be mere coincidence!) changing to 48 'The Well'

I wanted my answer to tell me something about what I do to attract this negativity and what I can do to change...

Reading about the well it talks of men who 'may differ in disposition' but the foundations of human nature are the same in everyone'...
It also speaks of a person who 'possess good qualities but neglects them' (Could that be talking about me and my air of deference /social inferiority ; ie maybe coming across as too eager to please? rather than conducting myself with more dignity or pride?

'No one bothers about him' kind of rings true - I do feel under-valued/ held in contempt or dismissed by certain people.. is that because I don't show that I respect myself enough so why should others?
Then again I do over-think things and amplify times when I feel I have let myself down but others may have thought I was being normal..

It then goes on to describe people drawing from the well...
Could this be suggesting that strong minded people draw from my weakness, in order to make themselves feel more powerful?
Classic bullying syndrome, and I have been bullied before... probably because I come across as an easy target - though I'd like to hope that I could stand up for myself better now! Though sometimes I am definitely still too passive..
Sometimes I feel I just need more of this

 

[steve]

Hey
I agree with your first glimpse
yea i think it is simply coming to meet
head on , but what then rumble or parlay

So the yi is saying this is where its at

Steve

 

[em ching]

Yeah seems to be though I haven't done anything to offend - not consciously anyway.
Do you agree with the interpretation 44.4, 6 'Coming to meet' to 'the Well' as suggesting this certain person is drawing from my perceived weakness to make herself feel stronger?
Cause if that's the case then I just need to learn to hide my 'weakness' better!

Thanks