Annoy someone and still walk the middle path?

[sarararahh]

I have a friend who is determined to make me feel bad about myself in a way where she can claim innocence. She knows my weak points, and it's been hard because we are in a group where I have no choice but to pleasantly interact with her. Whenever I felt I had the upper hand and advantage in this situation, I always felt really uncomfortable. I don't like hurting anyone, even my enemies. This situation has gone on for a long time now, I would say about 2 years.

In light of that, I think it's high time I learn how to give her a taste of her own medicine without actually deviating from the behavior of the superior man.

My question;

How can I annoy her the most and still walk the middle path?

Hex 7.2 to 2

Any thoughts on this are welcome. I suspect that 2 means I won't have to do anything, which is good, because as I mentioned, I'm not the greatest at actually going after anyone. Line 2 in hex 7 refers to a king, do you think that means a psychological king in myself? Or could it possibly mean someone in the physical world?

One last question that I wanted to ask if anyone has advice; I have asked many, many times over the course of time how to take the power away from her, that I know I invariably afford to her (seeing as how her behavior is never bad enough to upset anyone but me). I consistently receive hexagram 25, various lines. I understand that 25 is innocence, but how to translate that into reality? how to really wipe the slate clean? Am I supposed to pretend to myself that I don't suspect ulterior motives? I wish I understood. Because whatever it was, I would do it, and I would work hard at it every day if I could.

 

[qafinaf]

The most annoying thing you could do would be to not let it get to you.
Or better yet, "bless those who persecute you." (Look here)
Really! 7.2 could mean keep your troops (your thoughts and emotions) in line and carry on your way.

Good luck!

 

[sooo]

Hi Sarah. I'm glad to see you here again and hope you're feeling well.

I have to chuckle (a lot) at your candor here. No airs about wanting to annoy someone as being beneath you. The feeling I actually get is wanting to clear the air, or as you said, wipe the slate clean, and not carry the burden or weight around with you regarding this friend's manner with you. I think 7.2-2 is a great answer, and 25 fits right in there with it.

Here's my thoughts on it.

I think being in the center of your power, represented by the only strong line within weak lines means first to be in control of yourself, but not having to be passive or artificially restrained. Neither to be passively aggressive, which is not at all General-like. But to speak your mind openly, frankly and even assertively, while still maintaining control of your mind, power and emotions. Rather than trying to annoy this person, and repeat their disturbing behavior, to directly confront that behavior, call it out, so to speak. You speak to the behavior, not to the person, and are clear about how you feel about it. Imo, people who have notions that "a superior person" never is assertive in this manner, are way off base, and I suggest not to concern yourself with that whole mentality. If she chooses to walk away from you as a result, that is her choice. Yours is to not allow her to erode your sense of well being, self-confidence or credibility. It's most likely her own insecurity. That's something you don't need to imitate. Buck up, woman! You're no ones fool.

 

[rosada]

Great question, no doubt one we've all wanted to ask from time to time!
And wonderful answer: Recognize you control (7.2) what you respond to, so you can go totally unconscious (2) of her jabs, which will bug the daylights out of her and you still get to be the superior man!

The answer of 25. Innocence suggests to me you should play it that you assume she is innocent of conscious evil intent and ask her to explain herself more completely by yourself very innocently asking something like, " Excuse me, I'm not sure I'm understanding you?" or, in a kind, I just want things to be good between us sort of voice, "Are you mad at me?" This will require her to become more conscious of what she's doing and hopefully grow up.

I once tried the "Are you mad at me?" question with a fellow I worked with who was constantly putting me down. He looked at me as if he were seeing me for the first time and said, "I'm mad at everybody!" We shared a good laugh and were friendly from then on.

Rosada

 

[qafinaf]

These are really nice responses. I really like sooo's suggestion to address the behavior rather than the person. And rosada's story.

This morning, I watched our dog out the window. She had run around the house, propped up her front paws on the gate and was seriously investigating the sound of firetruck sirens. She was completely engaged and didn't seem to suspect my presence. I was amused and thought what a display of hexagram 25; so involved in the action at hand that all self-consciousness is forgotten. Dogs are kind of like that anyway.

Maybe if you reminded yourself what your ultimate purpose in being there is, you won't be led astray.

 

[sarararahh]

Sooo you're right, I will abandon trying to adopt her mentality, that's actually the last thing I want. Thanks for seeing humor in my candid approach though lol. How interesting that it was the only Yang line changing, I'm glad you pointed that out! I never thought about that particular aspect of 7.2. I totally agree that's not how a general should act lol. But thank you, I will remember what you said, it was helpful.

Aureolus thank you that sums it up nicely! also, your dog is a perfect example of the energy of 25. I will think of being like a dog when I start feeling that maintaining innocence is a challenge. they are the best at that

Rosada, I will try that line! That's pretty genius, I know that's going to come in handy sometime. lol

this really made a difference thank you guys so much, this was very helpful!

 

[Greenkid]

This happenend to me once. the woman sitting beside me at work was continually 'at' me. One day, I don't know where the idea came from, I made it my business - all day, non-stop - to be exceedingly nice to her, complimenting her at every turn, telling her how nice she looked, being overly helpful, etc., etc. she was flummoxed and never bothered me again. In my local town there is a placard which says "Be nice to your enemies, I'll drive them nuts" I think it's true. XX