another dream 45.3>31

[goddessliss]

I can't believe another dream with my exhusband in it - this is the 4th one!!

why is my subconscious using Dave in my dreams

Hex 45.3>31

I don't have a clue what this means to be honest.

One book suggests line 3 means I'd like to reunite - no that's not right. If I wanted to do that I would pick up the phone and call him.


In this latest dream Dave had cancer and was going to die the next day although he was up and about as if healthy. I said 'why don't you get some treatment' and he said 'if we get back together I will be happy to do anything to survive and get the treatment needed because then I've something to truly live for'.

 

[Trojina]

I think what is happening is inner healing of the trauma of the break up. I had a similar dream experience so I know how crazy it is. But it's good. Some say that once love has been between two people no matter if they break up and it's all hellish, on some level that love is still whole. Paradoxically to know that allows you to move on away from that person more fully. You take with you whole and in one piece all the parts of you that might have got left behind during the break up, important things like faith and so on. So what may be happening is these dreams are making things alright between the two of you because on some level way above all the human shit we make while we are here on planet earth things are alright between you. None of that has anything at all to do with 45.3 it's just my thoughts which may not be true for you but which I felt I wished to express on your previous dream thread.

On the other hand when dreams are so startling it is hard not to also wonder if he is actually calling out to you psychically. However if he was there's no reason he couldn't just get a message to you in waking life is there..apart from feeling awkward about it.

Hmm what about the 45.3...it's often people trying hard to make things work that don't work. Imagine if this dream actually happened. Imagine if he had cancer and wanted to be with you not her. What would you do ? More importantly how would you feel ? It might be worth imagining that scenario to see what feelings come up. I'm wondering if what would come up would feelings like in 45.3. That would be like on some level you might really want to help and even be pulled back in a little yet it wouldn't really work for you. Although consciously you feel you have resolved all this the subconscious takes a lot longer to catch on and accept things. I think perhaps your subconscious is working hard to resolve old feelings of abandonment by giving you dreams where he wants to come back to you. But then what ?

Actually what you haven't said is how you feel about all this in the dream. How did you feel in the dream when he said he wanted to be with you ? I think that feeling maybe the clue to 45.3 here

 

[goddessliss]

Thankyou Trojina as usual you've hit the nail....

After reading your post it brought up a lot of questions - all of which I could answer very easily.

If this was a true scenario - I'd be there in a heartbeat. Not to reunite our relationship but to help him through his cancer treatment. Having said that...when we were trying to sort things out I suggested he get help for his substance abuse and he said he couldn't do it without me but he didn't get serious about getting help and so we went around and around in our dysfunctional dance. In the end clearly he chose NOT to get help and teamed up with a woman who supported his substance abuses. But I wouldn't offer that help now, not for the substance abuse treatment.

I think you're so right and I'm now able to deal with it all on a subconscious level whereas before I was trying to block the pain even though in essence the pain was actually there, I just tried to pretend it wasn't as I got on with my life in what I thought were positive ways.

I believe in my heart I've just learned to live with my losses but cerebrally I'm over it.

In terms of the potential him psychically calling out - could quite possibly be.....although the other times he was doing he did it in a different way and the last time I 'felt' him was in about 2012, not to say it isn't possible now.
I doubt if he'd have the courage to pick up the phone....he was never big on courage hence his substance abuse or part thereof.