Another relationship reading! 31.5 - 62

[fitzroy]

Hello,

This is my first post here - I've been following for some time and benefiting from the wisdom and experience of this community vicariously, so I'm very glad to finally participate.

After a long line of questions over a period of 9 months, about one relationship exclusively, I've realized that my relationship with the I-Ching has become fairly predictable, and my ability to align myself with it's advice has decreased, most likely because I've never been so emotionally invested in the subject of inquiry before.

Anyway, we connected fast and deep, as if we have known each other for many lives. We were intimate for awhile, and it was amazing. It was also intense, as she revealed many things for me and challenged me to be more genuine, and I seemed to upset her neurotic balance as well. We helped each other a lot on our paths, but we also triggered each other a lot, so it was by no means some kind of purely blissful romance - there was always something to work on - we have a very charged connection.

So some things happened, she needed space, and so did I to calm down, and several months went by without communication, the most emotionally turbulent and confused time of my life....then we see each other again and it's amazing, but now she has decided to move far away and get back together with an ex who she has admitted before is a sociopath who doesn't deserve to be with her, and I'm left here with my heart blown apart and confused as hell as to why she doesn't want to be with me. And it's still good - we love and understand each other very much, and both know that we will be friends for life, unless I mess it up any further with my obsession about being with her! Perhaps I built it up too much for myself, but it's such a strong and obvious connection, such a perfect balance, that I really thought we were supposed to be together.

There's obviously more to the story, but I think this much will help to give the questions context, because they're quite indulgent and generic:

1) why doesn't X want to be with me? 31.5>62

Line 5 is especially boggling....I mostly use Stephen Karcher's Total I Ching, which says "this is a deep connection that will endure over time" Clear enough, however, it seems in contrast to all the other translations I've read, which speak of it being 'felt in the spine'. Thoughts?

2) what would it take for us to be together (romantically)? 50.2>56

Not sure if the oracle answers questions like this, which might explain the confusion I have in interpreting these hexagrams, but I really need to bring some clarity to this so that I can carry on with my life and stop using up so much mental energy on fixating and pondering about how we can be together...Your insights will be much appreciated!

 

[Trojina]

1) why doesn't X want to be with me? 31.5>62

Line 5 is especially boggling....I mostly use Stephen Karcher's Total I Ching, which says "this is a deep connection that will endure over time" Clear enough, however, it seems in contrast to all the other translations I've read, which speak of it being 'felt in the spine'. Thoughts?

It's not a useful question really...as you ask from her POV and hence the answer will be hard to interpret if it is even answered. Besides you could just ask her this and she could tell you. Actions speak louder than words so it looks fairly clear. She has gone to be with him not you. Hence she wants to be with him not you. If I took the answer 31.5 at face value...she follows her impulse to go where she wants to go.

2) what would it take for us to be together (romantically)? 50.2>56

Not sure if the oracle answers questions like this, which might explain the confusion I have in interpreting these hexagrams, but I really need to bring some clarity to this so that I can carry on with my life and stop using up so much mental energy on fixating and pondering about how we can be together...Your insights will be much appreciated!

Well again it's not a great question as it carries the assumption this is a possibility when it may not be as she has left you and gone back to him. I have no idea what 50.2 may mean in this context.

However if you haven't already seen it, this thread might help in formulating more helpful questions



http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings

 

[Trojina]

Line 5 is especially boggling....I mostly use Stephen Karcher's Total I Ching, which says "this is a deep connection that will endure over time" Clear enough, however, it seems in contrast to all the other translations I've read, which speak of it being 'felt in the spine'. Thoughts?

Just to say, the bit about the influence being felt in the spine is the words of the the I Ching. The stuff about the deep connection enduring over time is only Karcher's commentary.

A commentary is not a translation...it's just the author's ideas about what the words of Yi, the actual translation might mean.

I wish there were a sticky on this point as so many people think a commentators words are the actual I Ching

 

[Trojina]

So some things happened, she needed space, and so did I to calm down, and several months went by without communication, the most emotionally turbulent and confused time of my life....then we see each other again and it's amazing, but now she has decided to move far away and get back together with an ex who she has admitted before is a sociopath who doesn't deserve to be with her, and I'm left here with my heart blown apart and confused as hell as to why she doesn't want to be with me. And it's still good - we love and understand each other very much, and both know that we will be friends for life, unless I mess it up any further with my obsession about being with her!

FWIW also from what I read she herself sounds a bit like a sociopath. Why would she leave without at least telling you of why she was doing what she was doing ? That's not friendship, that's not even kind.

Look at your paragraph and you can see many contradictions. She saw you, it was good, intense, she needed 'space' , she left you hanging for a few months which were the most turbulent of your life. She goes back to someone she describes as a 'sociopath' who doesn't deserve her....er well why did she go back then....and yet you say "we love and understand each other very much".


No you don't. You don't understand her that's why you asking Yi questions about her. You were left with your 'heart blown apart and confused as hell'. That sounds like a clear absence of understanding.

If she loved and understood you she would talk to you about why she was going away to be with him to help you come to terms with her departure. If you loved and understood one another she wouldn't leave you in pain asking the I ching why she left. You think you messed it up ? I disagree. It sounds like she treated you with no consideration at all, not even as a friend. I don't know of course but she does sound like a 'type' ...a person that creates great intensity, then drops you.....creating an emotional maelstrom that charades as love. She currently has gone off to play with someone else's head for a bit. If she's plays true to form at some point she will call or visit....get you interested again then leave you dangling again. if you don't want all those shenanigans find someone who understands that love also includes caring about how someone feels, letting them know where they stand and so on. This is just melodrama for her and pain for you.