applying answer to question - who is what??? -- big learning curve ahead

[moodclad]

HI. Still a complete newbie. I've been getting to know the I Ching for several years, but still feel that I have no idea what I'm doing. (I've been doing tarot for almost 10 and still learning there too.)

I'm working on stepping up to a new level of understanding and I'm struggling with application of the answer I'm getting to the question I ask - which is the whole essence of the thing right.

I asked a question and walked away with a message. Then a bit later it struck me that I didn't apply the answer to the subject of the question and perhaps the answer if very different than what I had initially thought. Instead of just asking others to interpret it for me on the Shared reading form - I want to learn.

So if I may use that question as the example for educational purposes: I asked How is my behavior affecting my relationship? 23.2.6>7

On some thread somewhere someone had mentioned that how ___ was the subject of the reading therefore....

How do I know the subject of the question/ Since I asked how my behavior is affecting the situation - is it the situation that is transforming? or am I the one behaving my way through the changing lines?

If it's the relationship moving through the lines - then does the relationship move on into a whole new life?
Or if its me moving through the lines - I move on to a whole new life and leave the relationship behind.

Ultimately, either way I win - happy and resolved to be out of the relationship or happy that the relationship has transformed itself from what it was into something new.

But I don't understand HOW to know which it is that is moving through?

[I found this to be interesting because this is the same relationship from another thread in which someone mentioned 23.6 as a hidden aspect of the reading -- and I'm holding off on learning about that aspect of reading until after I learn how to apply the answer to the question I've asked. http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?22037-64-2-4-6-gt-2-relationship-questions ]

Not sure if what I'm trying to learn is clear - please let me know if this is just confusing.

Thanks

 

[moodclad]

Is asking - how my relationship is affected by my behavior a completely different question? IS it that simple to reverse the Who/what the answer is applied? Is it a noun, verb thing?

behavior = verb
relationship - noun
{I think ... it's been a LONG time since English class :bag:}

 

[Trojina]

There are no rules at all for knowing what applies to who in any kind of question involving others so you have to use your intuition which is easier as you build your own relationship with Yi.

If I really want to know how to take an answer concerning a relationship I put me in the question.

Have you seen this ?


http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings

 

[moodclad]

There are no rules at all for knowing what applies to who in any kind of question involving others so you have to use your intuition which is easier as you build your own relationship with Yi.

If I really want to know how to take an answer concerning a relationship I put me in the question.

Have you seen this ?


http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings

Didn't I put myself in the question when I asked "how my behavior" was affecting things?

 

[Trojina]

Yes you did, I was just speaking generally. Although your question of how your behaviour affects the relationship is too unconnected for my brain. I mean is the relationship him, you or something with it's own identity in the middle with a life of it's own ? When I say 'unconnected' I mean I can't ground it anywhere, there's no point of reference for me. You seem to be saying there's no point of reference for you either so you don't know how to take the answer.

You are separating your behaviour from the relationship...as if you were outside it impacting on it. I think I'd find it easier to ask something like 'what do I need to know about this now'. Although you are in the question you have made the relationship itself the central focus but the relationship doesn't even exist without you. What are you really asking ? Are you really asking how your behaviour affects the other person ? If so that's a question that can bring confusing answers, hence my comment to make one's own actions central to the question in order to be very clear in terms of who the answer is about.

Once you are more familiar with Yi and have your own relationship with it, it may be easier for you to intuit who is who in a reading. I've been consulting for 40 years and still find it hard to know who is being referred to when asking of others so there's no shortcut with these issues you ask of.

 

[moodclad]

Ah. I thought I'd completely missed how to do it.

 

[Trojina]

We may have crossed posts...I added more to explain

 

[moodclad]

Yes you did, I was just speaking generally. Although your question of how your behaviour affects the relationship is too unconnected for my brain. I mean is the relationship him, you or something with it's own identity in the middle with a life of it's own ? When I say 'unconnected' I mean I can't ground it anywhere, there's no point of reference for me. You seem to be saying there's no point of reference for you either so you don't know how to take the answer.

You are separating your behaviour from the relationship...as if you were outside it impacting on it. I think I'd find it easier to ask something like 'what do I need to know about this now'. Although you are in the question you have made the relationship itself the central focus but the relationship doesn't even exist without you. What are you really asking ? Are you really asking how your behaviour affects the other person ? If so that's a question that can bring confusing answers, hence my comment to make one's own actions central to the question in order to be very clear in terms of who the answer is about.

Once you are more familiar with Yi and have your own relationship with it, it may be easier for you to intuit who is who in a reading. I've been consulting for 40 years and still find it hard to know who is being referred to when asking of others so there's no shortcut with these issues you ask of.

I view the relationship its own entity. It is made of both he and I. Yet, it is more than just he and I, as it is the dynamic energy of both combined. So its more than just asking how my behavior affects him. He may be hurt or angry, but that won't necessarily mean that there is a large impact on the relationship. However, if the relationship itself is damaged, then the impact is larger and affects him and I. So my behavior affects him - but it also has a direct impact upon myself; affecting part of myself. So the a way I'm asking how does my behavior impact myself, but in a none direct way.

If I asked "how does my behavior affect my job" I'd still have the same confusion. Would it be my job changing or my behavior? Or does that still put me in the question same space?

 

[moodclad]

Is it more about what I'm questioning?

As in - I want to know what is happening with the relationship so I'm asking ....?
Versus: I want to know how my behavior is affecting x because I want to know if I should change my behavior.

Then what the focus of my question is is the subject that is experiencing the changing lines? So if my primary concern is relationship, then it is changing. If its about my behavior, then that is changing lines.

 

[angelatlantis14]

Hi Moonclad,

I think you are "over-thinking" the whole matter!
I am sharing Trojinas concern about you asking a question that is not really clear - maybe not even to yourself?

I am also not sure why you want to know how/if your behavior is affecting your relationship? If you want to know that it might be better to just ask your partner straight out if they have problems with your behavior.

To try and answer your initial question though, what I take away from your question is that you are concerned about the state of your relationship, and viewed in that light, I'd interpret it:

23.2.6>7

This Hex (Splitting Apart) points to an estrangement between the partners. Line 2 reinforces that, by mentioning splitting the bed. However, line 6 points to the fact that there is hope and potential in the relationship, provided that a change of behavior (as you asked) happens:

"There is a large fruit still uneaten.
The superior man receives a carriage.
The house of the inferior man is split apart."

This will however require an effort from your side, and that is what is reflected in the changing hex 7
"THE ARMY. The army needs perseverance
And a strong man.
Good fortune without blame."

I think that this is a great example of the I Ching answering what you REALLY wanted to know - is there a danger for my relationship?

Like Trojina said, there are no hard and fast rules for determining what/who the reading spoke about - just applying instinct and common sense, and see which interpreation makes sense in the context.
best wishes

maui

 

[iams girl]

For me, in general, the relating hexagram is about the subject or one's core situation (7), the primary hexagram is about the external situation (23), and the lines are more specifically about either affirmations or warnings about how to navigate things.

You asked about how your behavior is affecting the situation, so I would see 7 as your core situation (mostly about keeping things positive, disciplined, and focused) and 23 as the external situation (something falling apart that you have very little control over). If it were the other way around, I'd read it that you were possibly having a mental or physical breakdown (23) which would be affecting your trying to keep things together (7).

I'd read the lines as saying you are in danger by staying (23.2) and reaching a point where things will be over in a possibly traumatic way (that's my personal experience of 23.6 anyway). Obviously, in this case, they emphasize avoiding the potential consequences if possible and only you would know individually what that means for you.

 

[moodclad]

The relationship ended in a traumatic way. I reached out and tried to have a conversation about the situation, and that was followed by a goodbye and no response to a request for a conversation.