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Apt Issues 36.1.5<39

thisismybody

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Hello all!

It's been a few weeks. I hope life is treating everyone well.

The skinny: I've had a few issues with my apt manager overstepping my boundaries, such as with mail deliveries. She had a stroke about a year ago and I energetically have a hard time getting close or trusting her. It's very hard to explain. It may or may not be stroke-related. Before I moved in, we had a bit of a run-in because she called me and insisted I had called her and got mad at me when I said I didn't. A few days later, she called thinking I was "church Melissa." Anyway, this is while I was inquiring about an apt. Very few rental options where I live, so when this apt came open, I jumped on it, as it was $300 less a month on rent.

I try to stay away from her and everyone beside being cordial, as I like my privacy. I'm a great tenant. Pay on time. Single. Quiet. Work all the time.

The delivery issue was resolved with me never approaching the matter, and she dropped it. (She had knocked and called me twice.) She thought I was having a washer and dryer delivered, even though I have no hookups. Well, I was having a portable COMBO W/D delivered and felt it was none of her damn business. It hooks up to the sink. Consequently, I put a sticker on my door that said there was a camera on site. The maintenance man has a history, as she did, of coming in and not leaving a note after. I looked up tenant laws after this W/D thing. I didn't have a inside lock to lock anyone out while I was sleeping.

About a month and a half ago, she put a pest control notice right on my sticker. So, the Monday came, a little over a month ago, for pest control. I was working nights. Like I said, I cant lock out anyone who has a key. That afternoon, I awoke to a man's head in my bedroom door asking about a 2nd bathroom. I figure they were looking for the W/D. Usually, the single maintenance guy on site does pest control. I'm not sure who these guys were. I sleep with earplugs because it's loud. I immediately woke up and told him it was against the law to enter like that. He said that my apt manager was outside.

Anyway, I had found that the air intake to my apt was sharing air space with the neighbor's bathtub. Open, with insulation hanging. All the walls on my side were missing. Nasty stuff. I pulled her in the apt and said it need to be fixed. She said immediately.

A month passed. Nothing. I texted her and said I'd fix it. Well, I went to take a really good look at it today, and it was so gross I called her and said it needs fixing asap, as it was beyond my scope. It's wet. There's mold. There's who knows what on the ground. It's ****ing disgusting.

Q: How should I deal with this air intake issue?

Yi: 36.1.5<39

Interestingly, a few weeks ago I asked, "Should I move out?" (I was thinking when I got another job offer or my lease was up.) Yi: 36.1<15.

36 - yes, there's some wounding involved, as I need to hide my light and protect my privacy here. She has more power than I'd like.

36.1 - fly. Move? Carry on without missing a beat or stopping to have someone change my mind? (So should I move NOW?)

36.5 - protect myself from the tyrant. Yes, I've often thought of her as such.

39 - Obstruction, impasse. My lease is obstructing me from moving.

Could this be saying: Yes, move when your lease is up. Don't look back. But, be on guard for now by feigning your knowledge?
 
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tyrant

Hi, thisismybody,
here's my quick take on this
(my internet connection is not so great, where I am , so I will rely on my memory, rather than looking up the hexagrams-- and just give you some impressions).
I agree with you, that the living situation is pressured, annoying, and requires that you hide your light, in the presence of a person who is capricious and lacks good boundaries, whether due to incapacity or deliberate intention.
You are certainly right to assert yourself, when the worker enters without knocking, and when your landlady invades your privacy.
At the same time, it sounds like this troublesome situation is only occasionally annoying, rather than constantly "in your face".
Your reading of the moving lines 36 makes sense to me.
Hexagram 39: the main thing I remember about this hexagram is that "going forward" is hindered, while "coming," i.e. receiving offers more opportunities.
Thus, I think the yi is affirming your perception about the difficulties, and your need to move, but it is advising you to wait, and to receive something - -whether it be a new apartment, a new association with people, or something else -- which will then allow you to move smoothly.
 

thisismybody

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Ah, thanks, loverofknowledge. I get that too. It is just an occasional annoyance. But it's requiring me to flex my boundary-setting muscle, which has been weak in the past. I'll wait it out patiently and see what's in store.
 

thisismybody

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Update:

A few days ago, my apt manager entered my apt while I was at work without prior notice. This was the last straw for me. Ironically, a few days prior to this I had been thinking it had been very quiet and was considering remaining at the apartment and signing a new lease. Only, I asked about moving a few weeks ago and got, 59.6. Yikes. I knew that meant it is not safe for me to stay. But since she stopped doing it and my sliding chain lock had been doing it's job, I reconsidered. Well, until I got home on Thursday.

She came in without prior notice and left a pest control note. Still illegal. I talked to other tenants. One of the guys said no one was really home all day except for a few other tenants. He verified that no notice had been left. So, I called her.

I thought twice about it, but had had enough. I called. She denied and lied about no prior notice. She took a "poor me" stance and how she tries to help her tenants and helps pay their water bills, etc. She said she put notices but that they ALL flew away and she had been out there cleaning, even though it wasn't her job. She mentioned her stroke and that she was a widow of 18 years. Poor me, I'm so a victim. I lit her up. I told her she better never ever enter my apt illegally again. I warned her that I'd take legal steps.

I'm looking into what I can do now. I've decided to collect evidence and give it to the owner to get out of my lease. I think I only have two months left anyway.

She's unstable and I think about the 59.6 quite often. Hilary has an on-point commentary about it meaning to not overcommit yourself and that there's a seriousness to "blood." I'm in a vulnerable position and do not know what she's capable of. After witnessing her lie to save her own hide, after seeing her do things to create a positive impression in me over the past few months, I have to stick with my gut that there's something very, very wrong with her. I've read "The Sociopath Next Door." It was eery. She reminds me of it.

The positive in all of this is that I've learned to assert myself without fear of retribution. I have to protect myself, especially from someone who thinks she's above the law and has no issues crossing a stranger's boundaries.
 

thisismybody

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Another update:

I pushed it with the apt manager and ALMOST got out of my lease early. The owner was going to allow it, but changed his mind. I served out my lease. I bided my time and was kind upon leaving. I left the place immaculate. They were shocked. I was shocked to receive my deposit back in full. I had gotten 13.3.4.6 around that time, in December.

I ended up feeling so discouraged about renting that I bought a really nice RV. I live in it on some land owned by a married couple. People who work shift work like me rent spots out here. It's nice, quiet, and beautiful. I'm very happy.

Also, the apt manager probably wasn't a sociopath, but a stoke did leave her not quite right. She was aggressive to take revenge, but nice to your face. Like a split personality.
 

thisismybody

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Update again: Hurricane Harvey caused major flooding where I live. This apt went under. Had I not moved, I would have experienced the flood. Fortunately I did move to a bit higher ground a few miles away. On looking back, 59.6 could have been about the flooding.
 
O

oceangirl

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Wow thisismybody your prior situation isn't much different to mine in terms of personal space and boundaries. Mine knocks on my door and calls out until I answer even though I've repeatedly told her I'm a frequent meditator. She's also the biggest drama queen I've ever met which comes from being a control freak from her upbringing but good lord she's 66 years old, need to let go of your stuff. I do my best to keep out of her way and have recently tried hard to change the dynamics of our relationships back to a very secure You Landlord Me Tenant!!
I'm hoping some money will come my way in the next couple of months and I too can buy an RV type vehicle and just do my own thing as these circumstances I'm experiencing now are not unlike others I've been dealing with for years. This is the sucky side of having to rent. I'm glad you're happy and you were away from the floods in time.
 

thisismybody

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Hey Oceangirl,

I feel your pain! Boundaries are so important, but some people just don’t get that or don’t care. I really hope you get that money and get out. I bought an RV and am extremely happy to have my own space! It’s a blessing, really. And in hindsight, 59.6 really did mean flood. I would have lost everything. The waters came so fast, within a night, that no one knew to get out or pack up. The hurricane was far from us, but end up just sitting over Texas, and brought a torrential amount of rain. I had a premonition last summer and kept wanting to get to high ground, so it was strange when it happened because all those premonitory feelings subsided. I never posted this, as I don’t post much, but I got 14.6 TWICE during that time. I knew I’d be ok. “Blessed and protected by heaven.” I’m sending you love and light to help on that journey. Get you some space!
 

thisismybody

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Hey Oceangirl,

I feel your pain! Boundaries are so important, but some people just don’t get that or don’t care. I really hope you get that money and get out. I bought an RV and am extremely happy to have my own space! It’s a blessing, really. And in hindsight, 59.6 really did mean flood. I would have lost everything. The waters came so fast, within a night, that no one knew to get out or pack up. The hurricane was far from us, but end up just sitting over Texas, and brought a torrential amount of rain. I had a premonition last summer and kept wanting to get to high ground, so it was strange when it happened because all those premonitory feelings subsided. I never posted this, as I don’t post much, but I got 14.6 TWICE during that time. I knew I’d be ok. “Blessed and protected by heaven.” I’m sending you love and light to help on that journey. Get you some space!
 

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