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TwoGeese

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Greetings community,
I haven't posted in a long time. I got super frustrated with the yi and took a break for a bit. Since returning I am understanding more often than not what yi is saying.
Until this reading. A little background: I graduated from art school in 2007. I was not a traditional student and was older than all my classmates. I spent most of my life wanting to be an artist and was very naive about what that might mean. I have made work and showed on-line but have yet to go to a gallery with my work. Mostly because I am thinned skinned and can't stand rejection.
So currently I am feeling a "done-ness" about my work. I don't know what to say, can't decide if I value it. Blah blah blah.
I asked yi 2 questions.
First, what if I try to make a living as an artist? 39. 3 < 8
Ok that's clear. No, what I want is not to be found here.
Second, what if I stop making art? 32.2.4 < 15.
(This is where I am confused)
Perserverance (so do I keep working even though there is nothing here for me?)
Line 2 "Regrets vanish" (since I'm already confused because I'm fearful to let this go, if I let art go my regrets vanish?)
Line 4 "In the field, no game." What I want is not here so the correct path is to walk away from art?
I can't even get started on 15.
Since this is raw and big for me any help would be much appreciated.
 

Trojina

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So currently I am feeling a "done-ness" about my work. I don't know what to say, can't decide if I value it. Blah blah blah.
I asked yi 2 questions.
First, what if I try to make a living as an artist? 39. 3 < 8
Ok that's clear. No, what I want is not to be found here.

Well let us look at the line

'Going on, limping; coming back, turnaround.' That's Hilary's translation and if you read her commentary you can see how the line clearly connects with 8, the relating hexagram. Her commentary, paraphrased is kind of 'okay this is hard going and you know it but what if you paused and re-imagined this ? What if you imagined where you want to be and just follow the inclinations that feel natural to you ?'. In hexgram 8 one needs to flow where one belongs naturally. Right now your purpose is at odds with where you actually naturally want to flow.

I don't think this categorically means 'no you cannot make a living as an artist', (although that's hard for anyone I think ) I don't think this answer is just 'no', it's far more than that. It's showing you how hard you can make this and suggesting you make this less hard edged about the 'making a living' part and more to do with finding your direction, soft focus, wider view. So in 39 you are heading somewhere that actually feels quite inhospitable and in line 3 the advice is to turn around to what feels hospitable to you.

I can't say exactly how you would do that but I think it's a case of re-orientating yourself away from certain aims in order to rediscover a connection with aims that really truly are part of who you are and this doesn't preclude being an artist or even making money from it but the whole idea of 'making a living' in the way you are imagining it is a hard road I think.

It may sound trite but a person can't stop being an artist just because they don't make a living from it.


Second, what if I stop making art? 32.2.4 < 15.
(This is where I am confused)
Perserverance (so do I keep working even though there is nothing here for me?)
Line 2 "Regrets vanish" (since I'm already confused because I'm fearful to let this go, if I let art go my regrets vanish?)
Line 4 "In the field, no game." What I want is not here so the correct path is to walk away from art?
I can't even get started on 15.
Since this is raw and big for me any help would be much appreciated.


I have reason to doubt the 'no game' in 32.4 because on more than one occasion when I have cast it there most definitely was game !! Anyway no you aren't going to stop making art so it's a sort of non question which is why you got a weird answer maybe. 15 calls for realism of course which I get the sense in this cast you already have. I see you have 40/37 as change patterns and that plus the 15 makes me wonder if this is more a question of finding the right place for your art in your life at the moment ? I don't want to emphasize these too much, they are just almost the skeleton of the change lines showing through but they are the pivotal doorways to the reading, so to speak (good grief I do waffle) and the 37 makes me think of everything finding it's right place, and you have had 32.4 which is about the places you look and then 39.3 showing you taking a route you can't sustain. That doesn't mean letting go of your goals and what you are drawn to but it does mean really realigning with what you really want to belong with.

In 39 also one cannot struggle on alone, one needs helpers, allies, things to belong with (8). What can you be part of with your art ? I get the sense you need to be part of something with others rather than soldier on with a lone mission. I don't know how artists work together but certainly I think you need to think about joining with others with similar goals with whom you feel at home.

I think a question you are being asked by Yi in 39.3>8 is what really truly feels like home, where is your heart ? Turn around and go towards that. I think 8 speaks pretty loudly, we know where we belong, we feel it. Where do feel you really belong right now, what do you want to return to where there is a warm reception for you rather than a lonely battle ?

Consult your emotions because I think these can guide you here. If it feels hard and lonely turn around.
 

TwoGeese

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Thank you Trojina,
I love when you respond you break it down and yet make it bigger.
I am reponding in my phone and i can't quote you so this might be messy.
First, YES! I am not sure yet where I want to go 39 and my feeling of"done-ness". I didn't know this feeling would last so long. I think you saw "how art fits into my life" correctly. When it feels like "work" I don't want to do it but all my training says do it anyway so you can make money. But this is where the sadness/sickness is. I need to think on this some more. Thank you again for helping me see my way through the changes. Seems like magic to me I get lost with more than one line (obviously one line can throw me too).
 

TwoGeese

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Thank you Trojina,
I love when you respond you break it down and yet make it bigger.
I am reponding in my phone and i can't quote you so this might be messy.
First, YES! I am not sure yet where I want to go 39 and my feeling of"done-ness". I didn't know this feeling would last so long. I think you saw "how art fits into my life" correctly. When it feels like "work" I don't want to do it but all my training says do it anyway so you can make money. But this is where the sadness/sickness is. I need to think on this some more. Thank you again for helping me see my way through the changes. Seems like magic to me I get lost with more than one line (obviously one line can throw me too). :)
 

TwoGeese

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A brief update. I have reached out to a few artist collectives on the internet and participated in a quilt project. Feeling much more grounded. Trying to silence that part of myself that wants recognition. Not always easy but when I succeed, however temporary, I feel less crazy and actually enjoy my work. If more changes or evolves I will try to remember to update this
 

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