asking the most helpful question

[rosalind]

Hello,
I am wondering about the type of question to ask that would most helpful. i am not really expecting future-telling or what will happen, but i would like some insight inot a new situation in which i find myself.
After being in a long term relationship (we have a child), I have been separated for about a year. I met a guy recently who has been really wonderful to me and our time together so far has been great. except that there was a bit of a red flag, and i'm not sure how to proceed. what would be a helpful question to ask? besides "how should i proceed?" anyone have any suggestions about a question that may get to the heart of this matter? i find that my questions are usually yes/no in nature or are asking the future too specifically.
any input would be greatly appreciated. thank you

 

[meng]

A question I use is: What does this situation look like? I do this to gain an objective view. This works well as the first question, before asking: What is the best approach to this situation at this time? Of course the best approach may possibly be no approach at all, so it's good to remain open to that.

 

[fkegan]

Rosalind,
I would suggest asking, "What is new-guy's relationship to me?" This keeps the question current rather than future or fortune telling. It gives the oracle the opportunity to tell you about the red flag you mention or to respond with hex 41.3 to indicate that the father of your child is still part of your situation or describe what is the connection in this new relationship in terms of what is being offered to you.

In general, I believe it is best to ask the question you need answered and don't have access to other means to ask. With new relationships it is often difficult to ask,"So--tell me, what are your true intentions and why do you raise doubts in me rather than my just enjoying our great times together?" But the Yi will answer such questions. You might start with one overall question and then more detailed follow ups. Or if in phrasing your question you find that you actually have one specific aspect of this ambiguous or complicated relationship you most need to understand--start there.

Good Luck.

Frank

 

[solun]

Hi Rosalind,
I would tend to ask "what is the 'nature' of this new relationship". But before you do any divining, you may wish to ask (and this sounds corny, I know) your heart, since you yourself spoke of getting to the heart of the matter. Try to be calm and deepen yourself and ask yourself directly - "what does this red flag mean to me now". Then, if you get 'answers' from yourself, trust them, and/or ask the well what does the red flag mean for me. Don't leave the new guy out either. Have you raised the issue of your 'reservations' with him?
Best to you

 

[dobro p]

I am wondering about the type of question to ask that would most helpful. i am not really expecting future-telling or what will happen, but i would like some insight inot a new situation in which i find myself.

People in this thread have come up with good questions to ask, so I'll take a different tack.

* The Yi isn't going to tell you a lot you don't already know, but it will provide your mind with the images it needs to come up with useful insights. The Yi's a catalyst, not the end product of the chemical reaction. So pretty much any open-ended question will serve that purpose (you already know enough not to use a yes/no question).

* In any situation, there's a lot that you DON'T need to know. You don't need to know everything about the situation; you only need to know enough to do something useful.

* What's a useful thing to do? It's useful not to harm yourself or another person. It's useful to learn something, especially about yourself. (That's why it's okay to make mistakes.) If you've avoided harming someone, and if you've learned something, the rest is ancillary.

So, if you put all this together, you understand it's not important to find out everything about the situation, and you understand it's okay to try different approaches as long you don't hurt someone and as long as you keep your eyes open. With that in mind, any open-ended question put to the oracle will trigger something useful in you.

I hope something in this was useful.