Best course of action - 44.3 to 6

[MethodNix]

Hello everyone! I know it's a bit annoying mostly to ask about relationship questions, but these are the hardest ones to figure out, so I go to Yi with them.

A bit of the background - we have (or had) some kind of connection, and it was really nice and kind of filling the things I'm missing in life so I'd really like to keep it going. There seems to be a disconnect past few days and I might be overthinking it, but I'd really like to know what to do so I asked "What is the best course of action on my end for the best possible result regarding the thing with him?" and got 44.3 to 6.

Seems the changing line says I'm to blame for this misfortune, but there could be a possibility to get out of it. The resulting hex is 6 which says there could be a conflict or I'm about to loose an argument and that I should withdraw from it.

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on how to interpret this one and what to do? Be the first to contact? Be timid? Or to start a
fight?

 

[Trojina]

"What is the best course of action on my end for the best possible result regarding the thing with him?" and got 44.3 to 6.

Seems the changing line says I'm to blame for this misfortune, but there could be a possibility to get out of it. The resulting hex is 6 which says there could be a conflict or I'm about to loose an argument and that I should withdraw from it.

It's good you had a go at interpreting your own reading but it doesn't say you are to blame at all. Possibly you got this idea from a commentary not Yi as Yi says you're doing exhausting work, or maybe even he is if it's an indirect answer

'Buttocks without flesh,
Moving awkwardly now.
Danger.
No great mistake.'

This line is about Yu the Great I believe, I will double check (yes it is). He was dealing with a flood and he worked so hard his buttocks and thighs wasted away. This is tough going, it takes a lot out of you, it eats energy from your life and as we are in 44 after all this isn't something one can easily accommodate into your usual life style or pace of life.

I don't know how this answers your question but it isn't saying anything about fault but about something that's a great deal of effort to the point where you may not get a chance to eat and drink and rest and so on.


I'm wondering if it is bypassing your question and just telling you he's handling way too much, has too much to do? It's possible. If the answer is answering directly about what you can do your end as you put it, my goodness it's hard work for you. I think Yi would be asking you here about the hours of labour you're putting in and pointing out though it's not a mistake there is some danger for you?


What do you think?

Forget the commentaries just read the line as quoted above out loud to yourself. Where are you in that answer? Who is exhausted here?

The 6 is not a future argument it's the basis, the backdrop to the question. The whole enterprise of trying to have the relationship is almost like fighting a flood. 6 is where there is an argument with how things are, so Yu was arguing with the flood as it were. To have this relationship either one or both of you is having to sort of go short in other areas of life just to have it.


There is always the question implicit here as to whether it is worth such effort. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.



And sometimes this answer is just acknowledging what hard work this is for you. You asked what you can do and Yi is saying this is hard going. Maybe you put more than enough effort in already and it's not a question of what more you can do?

 

[MethodNix]

Trojina, thank you for very systematic answer and sharing the knowledge on Yi's background.
I can't tell how much research I'd have to do to make the connection similar to the one you made with Yu and the floods. I really admire that.

Possibly you got this idea from a commentary not Yi as Yi says you're doing exhausting work, or maybe even he is if it's an indirect answer

That's exactly right. I use commentary while interpreting because I feel

I'm wondering if it is bypassing your question and just telling you he's handling way too much, has too much to do? It's possible. If the answer is answering directly about what you can do your end as you put it, my goodness it's hard work for you. I think Yi would be asking you here about the hours of labour you're putting in and pointing out though it's not a mistake there is some danger for you?

That really could be the case from what I know about him, but I'd hate being the girl who makes excuses for a guy... "he's busy" probably means "he's not that into you".
As for hard work on my end - it's also a load of work and obligations. If you're aiming at the work you put in interpersonal relationships - I could also be it, but I don't see it in the same "have-to" as work, but more of "want-to" category.
I could just be exhausted from overthinking it while having all those "to-do's".

There is always the question implicit here as to whether it is worth such effort. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

From everything you wrote I gather Yi is on the point once again and that's what I love about this. Is it worth it?

Although, I did ask one more in the meantime and I could use your help since you're already in the loop.
I asked "Is he the one I should be spending my energy on?" and got 62.6. to 56.

I can see it say something about a small gain and not to aim to high because it wouldn't be in harmony with time.
Changing line says something about me (being arrogant) moving past instead of approaching him. And the resulting hex 56 foretells success with small things and maybe a travel would bring happiness.

Once again, I'm using the book with a commentary and it's hard to ignore it. Am I right?

 

[Trojina]

What book is it? These books I mean they can help but if an author has one idea of a line and you take their word for it you end up with a very limited view, much more limited than if you read what the I Ching says.

I can't tell how much research I'd have to do to make the connection similar to the one you made with Yu and the floods. I really admire that.

Oh I did none at all, it was the name I needed to look up in wikiwing here, thank Hilary for the provision of that information.

As for hard work on my end - it's also a load of work and obligations. If you're aiming at the work you put in interpersonal relationships - I could also be it, but I don't see it in the same "have-to" as work, but more of "want-to" category.
I could just be exhausted from overthinking it while having all those "to-do's".

Yes 44.3 can refer to things you have taken on because you want to. The line doesn't say that's wrong, it says 'no mistake' but it also says 'danger' therefore when receiving this line it's important to check out what you are dedicating your labour and your wasted thighs to is worthy of your highest ideals. Labour like that needs to be for a good reason and it often is so maybe your labour in this relationship is worth it?

Although, I did ask one more in the meantime and I could use your help since you're already in the loop.
I asked "Is he the one I should be spending my energy on?" and got 62.6. to 56.

I can see it say something about a small gain and not to aim to high because it wouldn't be in harmony with time.
Changing line says something about me (being arrogant) moving past instead of approaching him. And the resulting hex 56 foretells success with small things and maybe a travel would bring happiness.

The line says

'Not meeting at all, passing it by.
Flying bird leaves. [or is netted?]
Pitfall,
Known as calamity and blunder.'

The commentary uses the word 'arrogant' perhaps which isn't there. What is there, as you say, is not meeting the situation with the care or awareness it needs and so losing the opportunity or the person or the meeting or whatever it is. There generally is regret felt with the line although to be honest one really can't always help it. It's a blunder, there's a pitfall but that can be because one doesn't have the capacity to deal with the issue and so it's lost. I've seen it for trying to get on with someone I like but not being able to accommodate their beliefs or ideas as they need me to. To be able to keep the relationship I'd have to have more emotional capacity to take the amount of care needed which I didn't have, I didn't have the bandwidth so to speak.

It doesn't bode well there's no two ways about it. It appears you're missing or maybe just don't have something you need to understand to make this work. That could even be information. How much do you know about this guy? It could also refer to him, maybe he's being careless with you, doesn't have the capacity to be attentive to you, I don't know.

I have no clue I'm totally in the dark but you're not, you know the situation. But from this answer, well there is quite a finality to it. If you're aware you've offended him in some way then the line would show he's possibly not going to be open to making it up, he's off. But you didn't say you had offended him so I don't know.

 

[MethodNix]

What book is it? These books I mean they can help but if an author has one idea of a line and you take their word for it you end up with a very limited view, much more limited than if you read what the I Ching says.

It's John Blofeld's book. Moreover, it's translated to my native language (but isn't everything a translation?), so I can see what you're aiming at.
I kind of like the comments when I'm confused about a reading. That's why I also read shared readings regarding my judgments - and they often help me clear my take on the reading.

I have no clue I'm totally in the dark but you're not, you know the situation. But from this answer, well there is quite a finality to it. If you're aware you've offended him in some way then the line would show he's possibly not going to be open to making it up, he's off. But you didn't say you had offended him so I don't know.

Yes, there are a few different takes on this. Almost equally possible and I'll be going trough them so we'll just have to see.
I don't know... I have a good feeling about him at times, so I'll just have to wait and see how it unfolds.

But the question was - is he the one I should be spending my energy on? Would Yi give a definite judgement on the whole thing or would it be regarding this very moment or period in time? I can never tell when thinking about readings...

Do you think it's ok to ask questions regarding people with a certain time frame? Something like "What will be happening during this week? Or by the end of the month?" How does Yi respond in such cases? I would guess shorter amount of time means less variables so the prediction could be more accurate? And easier to check it out

Thank you so much for your input, though. Means a lot to be able to brainstorm everything with more experienced readers.

 

[Trojina]

But the question was - is he the one I should be spending my energy on? Would Yi give a definite judgement on the whole thing or would it be regarding this very moment or period in time? I can never tell when thinking about readings...

I think one has to take it in the same way you would when talking to a friend, it can do both depending on where you are in the conversation.

If you said to your friend

'Jane do you think I should spend energy on him?'

She might say

'Well MN, it seems to be costing you an awful lot and I'm not sure he's worth it given since you have been with him you let other things go, but it's up to you'

But you then said

'But Jane, what if go out with him this week how will that be?'

She might say

'Oh yeah you may have quite a nice time, have fun and feel close'

Her second answer doesn't negate the first. You can have fun with someone even in a no hope relationship with them.


Yi is not making a decision for you here, the decision will always be yours in any question. And of course regardless of what Yi says if you want to be with him you will continue even if you had quite strong readings against it. And that is how is should be, we aren't meant to obey Yi, there's some purpose in exploring even a bad relationship to it's fullest, we have to make our own mistakes and talking to Yi is no substitute for real life experience of these relationships.

Do you think it's ok to ask questions regarding people with a certain time frame? Something like "What will be happening during this week? Or by the end of the month?" How does Yi respond in such cases? I would guess shorter amount of time means less variables so the prediction could be more accurate? And easier to check it out

There's no reason you shouldn't ask such questions if you want to, you could experiment. But I don't think it's any more about prediction than it would be talking to your super wise friend Jane. If Jane wants the best for you and she's told you she thinks you are sacrificing a lot for him and it's going to be hard work to go on with him but it's still up to you to decide if it's worth it would you want to then go on and ask her 'how will it be with him this week?' . I guess you might. Maybe it's a good idea to keep the first general reading 44.3 reading in mind and see how subsidiary questions fit into that.


In any case it's always going to help with interpretation to see your answers as if they are a conversation with a living intelligence who knows you rather than some kind of tool or device that may or may not work a certain way.