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Best Friend Proposed for Marriage or to Leave 34-36 Hexagrams

debono

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Hi..


My best friend called me up and cried like anything, she wants to marry me, and has given me two weeks to decide, whether i want to move in together or i should Left her and never contact her.

i like her, but she is more intense, and don't want to be lonely anymore. so I consulted I ching by thinking of the feelings i have for her, and what to do about this situation...

that's what came up.


34. Power of the Great

Perseverance Furthers

The superior Man doesn't tread upon Paths? -- i do have a feeling this image makes sense of she distracting me from my destiny not sure, second opinions welcome


Moving Lines 2 and 4
Nine in the 2nd place means perseverance brings good fortune
Nine in the 4th place means perseverance brings good fortune

The Remorse Disappears

:eek:

the hedge opens ; there;s no Entanglement

Power depends upon the axle of a big cart


36. Darkening of the Light

It furthers one to be persevering...


Please have your thoughts on this. Thanks in Advance

DeBono
 

martin

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Now that's an ultimatum! Do you use the name De Bono because you hope that some lateral thinking will help you to find a lateral escape route? :D

With 36 in the background you probably feel somewhat overpowered and powerless, sort of, because you are pressed to make a decision and you can't do that so fast. Correct?

Well, I'm not sure, but I think line 4 might mean that she will not stay on this collision course for long but go 'lateral', sideways, calm down and allow you more time and space.
So maybe invite her to a dinner, with wine and candles, in a relaxed atmosphere?
If this was my friend and she would still be on a collision course after the soup I would probably throw the wine in her face and shout that she should stop blackmailing me NOW!
But that's just me. :D
 

debono

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yeah, De Bono is my Favorite personality.

:) lols@ Throwing wine at her face

but in my case it's rather more complicated than that
 

martin

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I understand. Maybe tell us a bit more? Of course only if you want.
What strikes me is that you wrote that you 'like' her. Does this mean that it's only 'like', not more?
 

mudpie

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Sounds to me like this could be an opportunity to escape! being lonely is not such a great reason to accept an aggressive push. Perhaps if you step aside, she will leave through the opening you provide and your life will be saved. 36 is good news for someone who is doubting himself but feigns insanity to preserve his integrity.
 

sunnygirl

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What kind of relationship do you currently have with this girl?

Has it ever been more than friends?
 

debono

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Okay, Thanks guys!!

@martin ... yes, like her means i like her nothing more.

At this current stage in my life, i am not sure about marriage as a right step to take. or if you understand astrology, my progressed mercury just entered Aries, and i feel this air of independence, and Freedom from attachments which i never had before in my life.

Even before i had come closer to people to find out if it hinders my freedom...i wouldn't be happy, and ties had to be broken.

And in this case, i didn't give her any signal, that i want to initiate something, i was going through a lot already. She just didn't Notice, and we were never on the same page. But that's just because i was preoccupied with my life issues, and i didn't put them on the table in front of her either.

If things have been normal for me in life, she wasn't that bad a choice, we have had mental compatibility, we make each other laugh, She's an architect Engineer, and i am highly educated myself, and we both share interest in occults and writing...

@sunnygirl ...well she flew over 1500 miles to meet me, and wanted to kiss, as i showed her the city and we were on the roof top of a small castle situated on a small island on the river...

I didn't even touch her, not that i didn't find her attractive..there' were some moments when she seemed irresistible...
 

Trojina

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Hang on i feel theres a missing element to this story. She flew 1500 miles to see you and you consented to this so is it by any chance like an arranged marriage situation set up for the pair of you ? These days not many girls in western culture would want to marry someone they haven't even kissed ahem, so I'm thinking she or you or both of you are acting within certain cultural expectations of marriage/family etc by a certain age.

I'm saying this because we are responding here with our western ideas about marriage and relationships, but in other cultures love isnt so important but more practical considerations, compatibility and similarity of backgrounds etc.

I'm bringing this up because we may not be seeing this from your perspective at all - or we are missing an important element.
 

debono

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Oh, yeah i forgot to mention that we live in Pakistan.

It isn't Arranged.

We are friends for a while now, living at the other corners of a same country.
 

Trojina

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It sounds like her feelings for you have become very strong, perhaps she has been hiding them up till now (36) and perhaps she had assumed you felt the same way, perhaps if you now don't seem to be so eager thats why she is so upset and demanding for you to make a decision.

You say you do like her and find her 'irresistable' to look at so its up to you if you want more time to get to know her better before deciding, maybe like others said if she calms down a little and eases off the pressure 34.4 things can turn out well for you both . As others said the ultimatum doesn't seem reasonable so take your time.
 

charly

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My best friend ... wants to marry me, and has given me two weeks to decide, whether i want to move in together... she is more intense ... I consulted I ching ... what to do about this situation...

34. Power of the Great... Perseverance Furthers... The superior Man ...
Nine in the 2nd ... perseverance brings good fortune
Nine in the 4th ... perseverance brings good fortune. The Remorse Disappears... the hedge opens ... no Entanglement ... Power depends upon the axle of a big cart...

36. Darkening of the Light. It furthers one to be persevering...
...

Hi, DeBono:

Maybe what I go to say can help you, maybe not. You are the guy who is going to put his skin in the game. The risk is yours.

1) H.34 is about Big Power, no greatness, little things can be powerful, things girls have among others.

2) Some guys instead of «perseverance furthers» translate «be the omen profitable», whishes expression, powerful words.

3) Never are you «The Superior Man», I believe this is a joke from Baynes, the text says JunZi, Noble-Child, it don't speak of girl or guy. You never can be The Superior because always there is another guy who is standing in a pole higher than yours.

4) 34.2, by the same guys of item 2, it only says «lucky omen», no comments.

5) 34.4 is not easy:

«Lucky omen, regret dissapears»
«The hedge eased off without entanglement»
«Power in the big cart's axle-bearing», the part that holds the axle, hollow or empty but not a weak part.

Maybe the message is «Lucky you, don't worry, you have the opportunity, you didn't need to apply force, the girl is powerful».

6) H.36 «Obscure your light»:

Two options: 1) you leave the game, close the door, shut the light, or 2) when you switch off the light things happen. You choose.

Maybe you are wasting your time thinking and thinking. You have the right. Maybe you will regret something, but regrets always arrive and always pass. And nobody knows what is best.

Warning: advices can fail.

God be with you, and with her.

Yours,


Charly
 

debono

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Thanks Trojan!!

I think you very much Synthesized the whole discussion.

Thanks Everybody, I have been helped.
 

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