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Best line of action after a break-up

oponopono

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Hello everyone,

Ive been away from the Forum for a while but find myself really confused now and would appreciate other views.

It is relationship confusion, though there was clarity in me that I wouldnt spend another minute of my life with this guy, a brutal tooth infection locked me to bed for the last 4 days and I started questioning - what is my body trying to tell me with all this pain processing ?

Long story short: we met he was still dealing with divorce papers, and I was just the bounce, obviously, though he furiously denied, and I tried not to see it as well. I was used, he was never into me, he just needed to get out of there asap.
After some months that went ok, i felt he was more into me that the other way, until the day I discovered all the time he kept mailing his ex for a comeback and saying awful things about me, I was just for sex, etc.
I broke it off but eventually we got back together, he begged for forgiveness, a couple of good weeks, but I never could bring myself to trust him again. The contact became very poor we were always fighting, and last week I broke it off again - and felt relieved.
He took my decision and didnt attempt for a comeback, which didnt feel so good ego-wise.

Two days later I fall into bed with the worst gum and tooth infection, high fever, etc etc, till today. Im drained and confused, feeling very negative and angry towards him but still not entirely "free" from his ascendent.

I do not want a comeback, I want clarity and I want to know the best way to handle this (stay in each others lives, rupture, erase him from all social networks, i dont know, because now im just MAD)

my conversation with the Y:

what is all this physical pain trying to tell me about this situation ?
25 (3) > 13

Six in the third place means: Undeserved misfortune.
The cow that was tethered by someone / Is the wanderer's gain, the citizen's loss.
Sometimes undeserved misfortune befalls a man at the hands of another, as for instance when someone passes by and takes a tethered cow along with him. His gain is the owner's loss. In all transactions, no matter how innocent, we must accommodate ourselves to the demands of the time, otherwise unexpected misfortune overtakes us
.

Injustice, thats the first thing that pops into mind, but I dont want to go into Victim mode here... I attracted this situation for some reason, I do not perceive myself as a victim.
Im angry but my communication towards him has been "dont worry, im here, i wont abandon you, we just stay friends...."

How much space should I allow this man to have in my life after all this ?
64, (4,5) 59


I wanna read > get the hell out of there! because thats what my anger is telling me. What do you read ?

What are the consequences of erasing him from my contacts/networks, that is, blocking him from my daily life ?
61 (2,6) > 3


Again, I dont know what to read...61 talks about criminal cases and delaying executions but the lines... 3 makes me feel this is the first week after the breakup and its normal that it is so hard now, but 61 seems to tell me "u already know what to do" and right now the prevailing voice as I told u is the angry victim voice.

Ive been doing a lot of work to get out of the victim and low-drama mode, and just dont want to give into it without external advice.

So please share your experience with me, what do you think I should do about keeping this man in my life ? Kicking out and make him feel how used I feel ? Go for forgiveness ?...

I thank you all in advance...
Yoana
:bows:
 

oponopono

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hi again... is there something wrong in the way I share my doubts...?
why is there no reaction ?

=S

Yoana
 

foxx777

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Hi, I was working through your castings. I feel very sorry for what this man has put you through, and I think your infection was a sign of exhaustion. You need to be kind to yourself, and this man sounds duplicious and not kind.:mad:

25.3 , yes, is about undeserved misfortune. You acted in innocence with this man, but he had his own dishonest agenda. I am looking to your other readings now. Hugs to you.
:hug:
 

foxx777

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64.4.5 > 59

64. Not yet across

line 4:

Persistence brings good fortune,
aversion goes away.
Shock was used to attack the ghost region.
The third year one was rewarded with a great country.

A firm and persistent approach improves the situation and makes things go well. One's initial aversion to the situation will go away. Working on this may take quite some time, but it leads to a long time advantage.

Line 5:

Persistence brings good fortune, without aversion.
The noble one's wisdom is to be trusted.
Good fortune.

By persevering things will go well. There is no aversion to the situation. It is better to trust this person's insight and wisdom. Things go well.

Hexagram is changing to:

59. Dissolving

dissolving.
Progressing.
The king grants there to be a temple.
It is beneficial to cross the big river.
It is beneficial to persist.

The situation dissolves, it will stop being there. This is progress. It is a good idea to start with something else. Make good use of what has been given. It is good to persevere.
:bows: Some added notes on the lines from me : I would say inner work on yourself. Letting him know you are not to be toyed with , too. He thinks he can have it both ways: You must draw on your inner strength; there will be great rewards from respecting yourself and being firm with him.Perhaps a counselor who can guide you through this?
 
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foxx777

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61.2.6. >3 I am not sure if the I Ching is as concerned with your blocking him, as with your change of attitude. I believe line 6 relates to the man. Perhaps it is good to block him for awhile. If you allow him to think you are there for him , will not abandon him, then he is not forced to change, or to make the choice he must make.

61 is about Inner Trust, working on deep instinct. You need to develop this, and perhaps could even have this with this man, IF and WHEN he is willing to play fair, and decides whom he is committed to.

Line 2 is about reciprocal caring and sharing, from a deep level.

Line 6 shows a grandiose attitude which will not get far. This is his, but perhaps also points to your insistence that you will not abandon him, and will remain his friend. This will not have the desired result. Either he should commit, or be out of your life altogether.

H3 is Difficulty at the beginning. I think you are being advised to stand firm, strengthen your inner resolve, and only under this aspect can you begin anew, with him, or with other men.
 
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foxx777

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***Added stuff to my post above. :) Please re-read. thnx
 
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Foxx, I am personally having a hard time understanding your post. I cannot tell what is Berker's and what is your's. Are the bold and red parts yours? They might be better understood outside of the quote box if so. Something else - when using the 'search forum' function of this site, the searched word comes up in red and if you are using the red font already it could confuse the searcher. Just some thoughts for betterment's sake. Do you see what I am saying?
 

foxx777

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Foxx, I am personally having a hard time understanding your post. I cannot tell what is Berker's and what is your's. Are the bold and red parts yours? They might be better understood outside of the quote box if so. Something else - when using the 'search forum' function of this site, the searched word comes up in red and if you are using the red font already it could confuse the searcher. Just some thoughts for betterment's sake. Do you see what I am saying?

Sorry for that: ONLY the red part is mine. ALL ELSE is Berkers. Within the quote block is all Berkers text AND commentary: The red is just an added thought, here and there, of my own-- did not know about the red, i will not use it again - sorry!:duh:
 
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So the bold part in the quotes is Berker's?
It would be easier for me personally to understand what is what, if you put your comments outside of the quoted area.

Example:
Translation Quote
Commentary Quote
Your own comments (then you wouldn't have to change the color to red :)).

The essence of SR is to share translations and also interpretations/experiences. I think it would be more beneficial for everyone to be able to tell the difference between the two.
 

foxx777

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So the bold part in the quotes is Berker's?
It would be easier for me personally to understand what is what, if you put your comments outside of the quoted area.

Example:

Your own comments (then you wouldn't have to change the color to red :)).

The essence of SR is to share translations and also interpretations/experiences. I think it would be more beneficial for everyone to be able to tell the difference between the two.
Yes, the bolded is Berkers. ONLY the red is mine - Let me go change it, hang on.:p GO SEE NOW, IS IT BETTER? Sorry for all the confusion....You are correct, too confusing to put it alongside commentary, thought the red would separate it, but you are right.:blush::duh:
 

oponopono

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Hi foxx777
took me a bit to digest all this and meanwhile of course the situation developed, or better said, finally erupted.
I really couldnt take it anymore, the anger got the best of me and I blocked him from all the contact platforms and stop answering his mails, messages, calls. He kept insisting until the point I finally wrote a short line asking him to go away and remove me from his life. He still answered back but I didnt. That was the end of it.

I totally agree with u on this quote below but I think the 61 (2,6) still refers to me, not to him. I can see how I can be over the line with my victim attitude and my proud arrogant "Go away" without even listening to him and at the end of the day I know he wont learn his lesson, nothing touches him. Im lying in bed ill and he is out having his way. I am the Cockcrow of line 6 and the misfortune befalls me.

64.4.5 > 59

[/font]:bows: Some added notes on the lines from me : I would say inner work on yourself. Letting him know you are not to be toyed with , too. He thinks he can have it both ways: You must draw on your inner strength; there will be great rewards from respecting yourself and being firm with him.Perhaps a counselor who can guide you through this?

Yeah, thats it, I mean, what else can I do? I dont see any counselor but I have very good and close friends. There is abundance of love and friendship in my life, he leaves me with no void. But still, Im angry.

So I asked the Y "why?" and the answer was a very beautiful 9 > 57
in which the line just told me Return to the way. How could there be blame in this?
Good fortune.

...perhaps I dont need to know why, I just need to return to my life and keep going.

Also the anxiety of it all and the first night of pure silence (we talked over the phone all the time...) lead me to some unadvisable line of questioning, that I mention more because it is clear our road ends here. I asked If there would be any further contact and the answer was 39 unchanging. That for me is a very clear no.

So that just left me with one question: HOW to move on and get him off my system?
4 (2) > 23
I believe the book mirrors my immaturity, how I am frail when handling these letting go processes. Nevertheless I hear something like - you are immature but you can handle this situation. Be kind with your own foolishness, your many flaws, bare with it. You can do this.

Foxx777, Your readings were very helpful - though I still cant make sense of 64.4.5 > 59 as an answer to that question but the lasts events answered anyway.

Today's readings felt much clearer that the other night.
Perhaps I am getting clearer myself.
What do you think?
:bows:
 

foxx777

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I think you have an abundance of self-understanding; also you are most definitely NOT a "victim-mentality" type.

I believe you are wise to distance yourself at this time, and 39 indeed is "Obstruction" - although that certainly does not have to be permanent.

Indeed, do take advantage of the friendship and love you have in your life, and your insights will stand you in good stead- yours is not an immature way of thinking at all.
:D:hug:
 

oponopono

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I think you have an abundance of self-understanding; also you are most definitely NOT a "victim-mentality" type.

I believe you are wise to distance yourself at this time, and 39 indeed is "Obstruction" - although that certainly does not have to be permanent.

Indeed, do take advantage of the friendship and love you have in your life, and your insights will stand you in good stead- yours is not an immature way of thinking at all.
:D:hug:

Thank you a lot fox777 - I guess I am what I am and whatever I am I asked for this to happen. :confused:

Actually today was the first day in months that I didnt wake up with his morning call and... it felt ok.

39 can take its time de-obstructing cause...
Im gonna manage ;)

TKS!
:bows:
 

reinaldo

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In this situation I don't think it's necessary to consult the I Ching.

The situation is very clear: the guy doesn't deserve you! Erase him from your life completely! Act as if he was dead.

You're gonna feel sad for a couple of months, wondering if things couldn't have worked if something differently have happened. Be strong! In time you're gonna feel a lot better!

Sometimes we need distance to see things how they really are.

You fell in love this time, you will fall in love again, that's for sure!
 

rosada

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Dear Yoana,

You originally asked what was the significance of your tooth problem in light of what had been going on in your life. Louise Hay in her landmark book, You Can Heal Your Life, says problems with teeth are a manifestation of difficulties in making a decision, being unable to bit through, separate as in "Should I stay or should go?"

I see 25.3 as not about being a victim, but as a warning not to be naive. The second line is central in it's trigram, balanced, the middle path, so it is usually a positive line but line three is about something that has gone too far. Here in hex.25.3 Leaving your cow unattended goes beyond innocence, it's stupidity. Likewise, letting this man be in your life would be the act of a very slow learner...

rosada
 

long yi

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Too many readings. Before you understand the first reading, you cast a few more. In fact, Iching reading can be multi-dimension in a single reading analysis. I will not help with the analysis if mutliple readings are done on the same event.

The ending is difficult beginning for someone who is broken heart, separated or divorced, looking for a relationship. It is called looking in the wrong place. The man is not available. The woman will eventually meet someone else. She may not like the next person as much, but this is life.
 

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