Biggest fear 19.3 to 11

[Henry Zahir]

Many problems, trouble with others, defensiveness making life pretty much constante suffering. Wanting to tackle the problem, I asked, "what is my biggest fear? "

Death, I thought to myself as I casted the reading. Can't sweet talk yourself out of it. Any help, please?

 

[professionalsky3]

19.3

People seem to have a lot of influence on how you feel about yourself. You kinda tend to stay in the comfort zone and never question if the decisions that you make are good for you first and foremost because you're basically not the one who makes them. Therefore, whenever something goes awry you shift the blame onto them so you don't take any responsability. "Hell is other people" is the best way to describe this line, IMHO.
According to the fan yao (11.3) you should dedicate yourself to improve your inner life and then you see the results in the external world, sonner or later. Don't rush ahead either: enjoy the process and everything that life has to offer.

 

[Henry Zahir]

19.3

People seem to have a lot of influence on how you feel about yourself. You kinda tend to stay in the comfort zone and never question if the decisions that you make are good for you first and foremost because you're basically not the one who makes them. Therefore, whenever something goes awry you shift the blame onto them so you don't take any responsability. "Hell is other people" is the best way to describe this line, IMHO.
According to the fan yao (11.3) you should dedicate yourself to improve your inner life and then you see the results in the external world, sonner or later. Don't rush ahead either: enjoy the process and everything that life has to offer.

Thank you. So my biggest fear would be being shamed. Correct?

 

[heartsunite]

Many problems, trouble with others, defensiveness making life pretty much constante suffering. Wanting to tackle the problem, I asked, "what is my biggest fear? "

Death, I thought to myself as I casted the reading. Can't sweet talk yourself out of it. Any help, please?

This line to me seems to speak to false confidence. Perhaps you fear the discomfort of being exactly yourself.

 

[Trojina]

I think it's a mistake to aim to take this answer as describing your biggest fear

I think Yi is just suggesting your approach to your problem by seeking out a fear is not terribly useful.

The line says

'Sweetness nearing,
No direction brings harvest.
Already grieving it, no mistake.'

There is nothing there about shame. It's just saying whilst the approach to this problem that you're taking seems profitable it isn't so much so so let it go.

According to the fan yao (11.3) you should dedicate yourself to improve your inner life and then you see the results in the external world, sonner or later. Don't rush ahead either: enjoy the process and everything that life has to offer.

But the fan yao is not the answer. One wouldn't be aiming to act, in any reading, according to the fan yao and that was never what Brad Hatcher who coined the term intended it to be used for. Unfortunately many people seem to use it as if it were the actual answer. It's a reflection of the answer but it is not to be taken as direct advice, in place of the answer, at all. If it were then 11.3 would have been cast not 19.3.

Many problems, trouble with others, defensiveness making life pretty much constante suffering. Wanting to tackle the problem, I asked, "what is my biggest fear? "

I think Yi is questioning your own view of what you see as your problem, I'd think you'd maybe need to reframe your perception of 'the problem' , maybe it isn't about fear as such at all?

This line is not showing you your biggest fear it's saying hunting for your biggest fear is not a helpful direction to take IMO

 

[moss elk]

According to the fan yao (11.3) you should ...

The fan Yao is not his answer,
and it is not advice about this matter.

The *only* use of the fan Yao is:
when one is still learning line meanings, then one can look at the fan Yao for a 'hint' or aid to comprehension about the line you did receive. But that is it.

Fan Yao does not apply to our readings.

You only need to look when you don't comprehend a received lines meaning, and you won't see the answer there, just a line that shares a 'kinship of qualities' with the received line, so that you may 'get' the meaning of the received line.

 

[breakmov]

hello Henry Zahir

"Biggest fear 19.3 to 11"​

"Wanting to tackle the problem, I asked, "what is my biggest fear?"


I imagine someone on the 3rd line "thinking/acting" looking like this:

"taking into account "this", which we are "managing" together, (in the broadest and most general sense possible) it would be very good if this "working group and its management" realized the merit of some of the ideas or contributions that I have about a better way to "manage and do this which is our goal"
....I don't like to impose my ideas by "force", but I considered at length about a better way to "do this" and sincerely hoped (maybe indirect or "subliminal") that these ideas of mine were easily accepted and that everyone naturally saw them as a better management option
... but unfortunately, especially for me, it seems that they did not understand the merits of this "better management", and I'm not seeing the best way to handle the "rejection of this idea or contribution" "


-which implies to what extent, or in what way, personal ideas about the "best way to do something", however better and more carefully thought out they may be, can impose themselves in a situation where we are not in the right position to have this influence on these "management events".

- which implies to what extent, or in what way, if we should or are able to, instead of waiting for the other party to perceive the merit of our contribution, clearly and unequivocally expose our vision to the "management group" and accept, regardless of whether they accept it or not, continue to do our best and in accordance with this "management group" and for the good of the common goal.

Henry Zahir said:
"Many problems, trouble with others, defensiveness making life pretty much constante suffering. Wanting to tackle the problem, I asked, "what is my biggest fear? "

Death, I thought to myself as I casted the reading. Can't sweet talk yourself out of it. Any help, please?"


...and, depending on the person it's a "great fear", and a "symbolic death" too, when someone wants to contribute something they consider excellent, carefully thought out and which, in their understanding, would respond more efficient way to solve/manage something and it is not accepted or is simply rejected because it is not in the right position or at the right time for it to happen.

....can you can imagine "power games" here too?

But that's life, and in the end what matters is that something good, and not necessarily the maximum limit of the best possible, can appear from a mutual collaboration and for the best of the majority.

breakmov

 

[professionalsky3]

But the fan yao is not the answer. One wouldn't be aiming to act, in any reading, according to the fan yao and that was never what Brad Hatcher who coined the term intended it to be used for. Unfortunately many people seem to use it as if it were the actual answer. It's a reflection of the answer but it is not to be taken as direct advice, in place of the answer, at all. If it were then 11.3 would have been cast not 19.3.

It's indeed not the answer. However, it helps one to interpret it. At least that's what works for me.

 

[Henry Zahir]

Thank you all for answering. After readimg your inputs, I have to say there is truth in all of your interpretations. I think Trojina´s way of answering is very consistent, I´ve read a lot of her responses here, she is very much the opinion of a doctor other than the patient's current doctor. Sometimes its kind of annoying but when you read her over, she has always a good point to make, or at least she makes you think. Her opinion is, as I see in general from her posting, that the question is not well formulated or meaningless. I disagree. Why? I found in professionalsky3 and breakmov´s interpretations some interesting nuggets of gold.

Being shamed is really one of my biggest fears. And breakmov describes in two words the situation. Power games. I had created a safe space for many people to enjoy themselves, but initially I didn´t do it for them, but to empower my ex girlfriend, and give her the tools to rise up in a world she adores. On the way, new people came in and after some months, one of them I suspect, lead her astray, promising her things he could not give. For example an honest love relationship, since he is married and won´t leave his wife. I acted like a fool, hurt in my pride and feeling left out and rejected. It didn´t happen in my head, it really happened physically.

So, yes, simbolic death all the way. But to finish this update, it was a complicated question, and I didn´t give much context. In this case, breakmov was very very close and professionalsky3 too.

In hindsight, 11.3 is the key. Life goes up and down, we need to keep our balance in between and not lose our dignity by trying to sweet talk people out of their convictions. Its like an ex-lover who is fed up with the love name we gave them. They don´t want to be called "sweetheart" anymore, they moved on.

Peace (hex11) can be found in accepting that everything has to end and integrity and selflove is preserved in not trying to convince who doesn´t want to be close anymore or feels like moving on. Or at least that was what happened to me. Detach, detach, detach. Say it three times, hex11.3. Thank you all for your precious time.