Break up and a challenge

[Inbalski]

Hi. These are hard days for me .
I kicked my boyfriend out of the apartment we both lived in after he cheated on me.
He is schizophrenic and has heavy addiction problems. I tried so hard to help him and try and find solutions to help him get out of the self destructive patterns. He begs me for us to come back and I told him that he has a month to quit smoking, drinking, smoking pot and chatting up girls and go and sit a 10 day vipassana course, and than I might consider getting back together. I asked the iching how will he handle the challenge i gave him,
and got 42.1.4.5 change to 35.
It seems like a positive response what do you think?

 

[my_key]

I asked the iching how will he handle the challenge i gave him,
and got 42.1.4.5 change to 35.
It seems like a positive response what do you think?

Hi Inbalski
These sound as if they are very difficult times for you both.

In my experience it takes way longer than a month to change life long habits (self destructive patterns) and addictions. Some people take even longer than that to recognise that change is required. Vipassana may well help with him seeing things for what they are and it could be that your action of throwing him out is the wake up call he has been in need of. Severe mental health and addiction issues may hold him firmly in the the place he currently inhabits.

'Increasing' through 'Proceeding Forward'

In a time of Increase (42) Yi advocates for the Noble One to gain insight into the improvements needed and then to follow through with action. All excessive behaviours and actions need to be adjusted to ones of moderation moderation. It implies that in this time full commitment to the intended improvements is the order of the day.

35 speaks to the context around how your boyfriend may handle your challenge. Here Yi indicates that there is a huge reliance on proceeding forward place on the individual to cultivate his virtues through his own actions. Lip service doesn't work.

42.1 - In the beginning he is going to feel very isolated and alone. Now is the time to act though and engaging with his recovery will raise his inner mojo and allow the opening new doors for him.
42.4 - Finding a way to a new place of balance through his own choices will increase his personal power to handle things calmly.
42.5 - A new structure for his life based in truth and self compassion will help him meet his unmet needs.

The reading does seem to be a positive one however at the heart of all this it is a question about how he will handle the challenge you have given him and this may not be the same as handling the challenges that life has presented to him. I hope it all goes well for him ( and for you) and that he can handle stepping into the shoes and walking the path of a Noble One, as best he can, over the next month.

.... or there might be other interpretations that resonate with you.

Good Luck

 

[Inbalski]

Wow thank you for your compassionate detailed response.
I agree with you it takes a lifetime of dealing and releasing destructive habits. I meant it as a way for him to show me that he can commit to this change.

42.1 - In the beginning he is going to feel very isolated and alone. Now is the time to act though and engaging with his recovery will raise his inner mojo and allow the opening new doors for him.

What will be the best way to engage with him in his recovery? I got 53.5 changing to 52

Do you suggest doing another reading? What do you think is the best thing to ask the yi?

 

[my_key]

When I posted about 42.1 my interpretation was that it was a time for him to act and for him to engage with his inner mojo. Recovery from addiction, whilst helped by all sorts of external support, can never be the responsibility of any one other than the addict. Addicts ultimately recover best through regaining their power for themselves, in their own time and in their own way

What will be the best way to engage with him in his recovery? I got 53.5 changing to 52

'Developing Gradually' through 'Keeping Still'
Allow any further engagement with him to develop gradually through discovering your own way of keeping still. Look for ways to recognise and implement the old adage that "less is more" for you both, travelling along this path of healing.

53 - From the image: The Noble One (you?) resides in their eminence and power rather than being dragged along by their lesser self.

53.5 - Looking to bring structure and organisation through your desire for engagement now is not the way. Time has to be allowed to play its part, perhaps years rather than months. (Karcher - "the wife is not pregnant for 3 years"). Good news though is that at end of this period Yi suggests you will achieve through 'Keeping Still' what it is you desire.

If this was me, the best thing I would do is to sit with these two consultations and not ask anymore questions. I might consider that my lesser self is dragging me into a question-asking fest.

.., or there might be other interpretations that resonate with you more.

Good Luck

 

[Inbalski]

Thank you so much for the kind response. It really helps