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Bullying 11.3>19

becalm

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I'm about a month into a new job and I love it and enjoy the people I work with although there's one woman I didn't take to from the start but managed to get on with fine. She's given me a hard time right from the beginning (even the boss made mention of it) but I managed to make light of it and just made out she was having a joke with me especially in lieu of me not knowing my way around at first. Now that I've got the hang of things she's still trying to 'lord' it over me and last week there was a moment where she tried to make out I was being mean but it fell flat with the boss. Her and the boss get on great, are the same age and talk a lot with each other which I don't have a problem with I'm just trying to give a picture of the dynamics.
Today however an incident happened which was bordering, if not actually bullying, and I got extremely upset but walked away as I felt it better than turning it into a major drama.
There are higher bosses I could complain to as it's been on my mind for the last week or so however ironically enough we are doing a workshop on bullying and harassment in 2 weeks time.
My question is What if I speak to someone of authority at work about it
Hex 11.3>19
This sounds like I should just ride it out - sometimes things are good and sometimes they are bad.

I've now asked a 2nd question - What is the best way for me to move forward re this bullying
Hex 30.3.4>27
Line 3 - look at the good things about the job and Line 4 - says she will stop doing it now anyway
 
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becalm

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Well I'm not so sure about these readings now as when I went into work today the tension was pretty high but no one was going to talk about the 'Elephant' in the room so in the end I did. Tomorrow I have a meeting with 3 bosses.
 

kevin

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Hi Becalm
Receiving that sort of behaviour is horrid.

I am using Wilhelm Baynes today.

11.3>19
Hx. 11
has an upper trigram of Earth and a lower trigram of Heaven. 'Heaven' naturally rises and 'Earth' naturally has a downward movement. So it is the trigrams of Heaven and Earth unite to form 'Peace'. Which is what you are seeking.

Here I am taking the Nuclear Hexagram to be the hidden potential of Hx.11. The Nuclear Hx. of Peace is Hx.54 Marrying Maiden. This Maiden breaks the norm of waiting to be taken in marriage and organises it for herself. That is she resolves her issues herself. The trigrams are again revealing. Here I would suggest that the lower Trigram of Dui are the events you are describing. They are the 'communications, the goings-on' within which may become externalised by your actions leading to a surprise change in the situation.

Looking at the commentaries on the Judgement for Hx.54: "The marrying Maiden describes the great meaning of Heaven and Earth. If Heaven and Earth fail to unite, all creatures fail to prosper." A very pertinent comment on Hx.11. It describes you as the actor and the task needed to attain Hx.11 Peace.

Line 3:
''No plain not followed by a slope.' good and difficult times come and go, that is the way the world is. 'Enjoy the good fortune you still possess. Is this line telling you to 'just get on with it? No, there is better advice here. It leads to Hx.8 Holding Together. We might say. 'Keep your act together' in this instance. Or, don't let everything fall apart now. Enjoy the good fortune you now possess.

You said: "This sounds like I should just ride it out - sometimes things are good and sometimes they are bad. "
Not entirely that Hx.54 leaves the door ajar for taking action, but caution is certainly advised.

Hx.19: Approach. Here it would mean that a time is approaching where the situation will resolve. It may be a person or an event.

30.3.4>27
Hx.30
Perseverance Furthers. Li is also about using bright, well informed strategy. The question is where to apply perseverance here. Given the other parts of the reading I would think it mean don't give up and use quiet strategy to contain the situation.

Line 3: 'In the light of the setting sun men either beat (their) pot loudly and sing. Or loudly bewail the approach of old age.' As darkness arrives (bullying) you can either stand up to it and make a noise, or you can take it and mutter in the corner about your misfortune.

Line 4 Essentially says that this is a flair up, which dies down of its own. There is nothing here to say it will not necessarily repeat. It might merely point to this being insignificant in the order of things.

Hx.27 This is interesting. Providing Nourishment. Here I would look at the Judgement part of which says, "Perseverance Brings Good Fortune. Pay Heed to the Providing of Nourishment. And to what a man seeks to fill his own mouth with."

Is it, again focussing you on the importance of the salary? That which nourishes you?

Is the second part asking you to consider how she might be 'feeding off you'? Getting some fulfilment from her behaviour.

The Confucian saying: Do to others as you would be done to. Comes to mind.

I fear I have told you nothing new here. If I were in your position I would do three things:

Keep diaried note of events. Evidence for future possible action.

Find small ways of signifying the impact to her. Like saying, "Ouch" before continuing the conversation or walking away.

Not responding to the bullying, but keep the focus on the task. "No, it will have to wait, I have more important priorities right now."

I wonder if 30.3 gives leeway to asking her for a quiet chat and telling her how you experience her behaviour? If you do this I would suggest that you avoid blaming, but concentrate on one example and tell her how you experienced it and ask her to stop. Often the shame of being confronted firmly in an open way is enough to stop them. Oh, and keep I diary of events. That helps a lot if you eventually formalise the matter. You probably know all of this, but I thought it worth saying.

I wish you well with this horrible situation.
 

kevin

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Well I'm not so sure about these readings now as when I went into work today the tension was pretty high but no one was going to talk about the 'Elephant' in the room so in the end I did. Tomorrow I have a meeting with 3 bosses.
Good luck.
 

becalm

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Kevin thank you for responding and whilst you perhaps haven't told me anything new and I've tried the strategies you suggested (including keeping a diary) it just escalated yesterday to a point it's no longer ignorable. Your interpretations of the Hexes help me significantly. Appreciate it a lot.
 

kevin

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No problem Crossed posts.
Bullying is intolerable.

Approach?

Best of fortune with this.
 

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