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Can this happen - little help please!

em ching

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Hi,

(I know there are a lot of readings here (yawn) and I don't expect an interpretation on all, or even for you to read it all! :) but if anything jumps out here, some alarm bells I am missing then I'd be v grateful to hear your take on anything here...)

I have posted before about someone at work who I really like now :blush:
who I think has recently broken up with his girlfriend (I thought they were back together but judging by their body language I think maybe not)
I unexpectedly received a message from him, which has, sigh, raised my hopes again and my silly little heart a flutterin' but for that reason, I feel it is precarious...

I was in work with him today and though we did interact in a jolly way, we mainy spoke about work - as it was quite busy - and because I was a little self-conscious, I may have seemed a little ditzy to him, (though that's my inner negative voice which I shouldn't listen to.. I prbably wasn't that bad (I am new at the company)

I asked
After today at work, does he like me, romantically?
37 Unchanging

First impression of this was :) However, this stood out and worried me: 'If words and conduct are not in accord and not consistent, they will have no effect'
(as I was feeling shy, I did'nt approach him or talk as naturally to him today as I perhaps would usually have (fear I guess..)

I then asked
Can it work?

57.6 > 48
:( I have read that 57 is about the male approach.. and line 6 seems ominous 'He follows up injurious influences...'
48 also seems to strike me as a sad hexagram, perhaps about wasted opportunity or a barrier disabling people from drinking from it, perhaps because of some vibe I am giving off?

Read this in previous thread : living in the present signifies let go of past memories and future fantasies, makes a lot of sense... But, what happens when we have been burned with fire once? Or perhaps, line 6 is indicating that one thinks that we can handle a situation because we've been before there and therefore, we go back to sleep, thus we lose our treasures.

Maybe I am expecting the worst when I should not be taking it so seriously? I just can't help thinking that I am going to ruin it, as I haven't had much luck in the past, especially when I am this attracted...


A couple of days ago, after receiving the unexpected message I asked why he sent it?

39.2, 4, 6 > 44
Perhaps referring to him being torn between his ex and I? If he is attracted to me that way, that is...

Generally, does this attraction bode positive or negative for me?
18.2, 6 > 15
ie it is not perfect so don't get carried away?

What are his intentions?
46.1 > 11
:) (perhaps more fool me)

And a week ago, when I thought he was back with his g/f, though he was still being friendly and forthcoming:
Is there an undercurrent of feeling or just friends?
51.4 > 24



I like this guy on all levels, but am afraid of getting my hopes up...
Perhaps if there is all this hesitation now, it is not meant to be... ?

I won't see him again until Sat, so it will probs dominate my thoughts, though I know romance is not the be all and end all (it certainly raises life to another level! :)
But I will try to concentrate on other things and enjoy myself without getting too distracted by thoughts of him :eek:

Thanks :)
:bows:
 
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D

diamanda

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Hi emching,

I get the impression from your readings, as well as from what you've said about
the situation, that it's still early days for him - he's just out of a relationship and
perhaps even not totally out of it yet. It's dangerous in general to pursue a new
relationship with someone who's straight out of another one, because it just
spells out 'rebound'.

Does he like you - 37 means family, the wife, and since you are not that to him,
it most probably means that he is still emotionally attached to his ex (although
the straight 37 makes me wonder if they are actually back together).

Can it work, 57:6 advises not to overdo it with thinking, and 48 perhaps tells
you to take a good look at previous readings, the answer is somewhere there.

Why did he send the message - not sure if 39:2,4,6>44 answers this exactly.
It says "road ahead blocked", "not your fault", "come back to your own people",
"come back", "do not make any first moves". I think you should not read too
much into his message. If he was 'torn between his ex and you', you'd certainly
have seen some stronger manifestation on his part.

Is this attraction positive or negative for you - 18:2 is telling you not to be too
strict with yourself. Attraction happens, it's not something we consciously fabricate,
so, take it easy, don't be harsh with yourself. It happened, you fancy him, what can
you do. You can't control your feelings, but you can control your actions, and that's
good. 18:6 is advising you to go for someone else, someone 'better' (perhaps in
the sense "someone who is not already emotionally attached elsewhere"), or at least
that's how it sounds to me. 15 is promising, modesty wins others' hearts. The whole
thing sounds like, don't blame yourself, be independent, and modest. Then it will
all be good. There's a slight possibility here (in 18:6) that he will leave behind the
other 'decaying' relationship, and then, with modesty, let's see how it goes.

His intentions is to make slow progress (46:1) and achieve a steady happy
relationship (11). Now if this will be with you, or with his ex, only he knows that,
and we'll all find out eventually too i guess! :)

Is there an undercurrent or just friends? There's a lot of male energy in 51, so
maybe this is saying that he fancied you lots initially, but when the "shock was mired"
then 24, "friends come and go without blame"? The shock was either a sudden fancy
for you, or his shock from his separation, or both. 24 shows he sees you in a very
good light, so don't worry about that.

I think you should give it a try to stop worrying that "you'll ruin it". You like him a
lot, and so be it. Continue living your life, and be friendly and polite to him. If he
really likes you too, and makes a move, he'll be glad to discover (at that point
and not earlier! ;)) that you like him too. Easier said than done, but you have
nothing to lose; try to remember a little mantra, eg ' friendly and confident', to
yourself, and just observe him and his actions towards you, till things are clearer.
 

em ching

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That's so excellent Diamanda thankyou :bows:
I must keep myself down on an even realistic keel here, and I shan't make any moves towards him, as you say, if I 'arouse' (as in 51 context lol) him enough, then he will take the lead - as that is the 'masculine' realm, and that is how it will stay it seems... and also, I am interested and not attached to anyone else at all, whereas he must be wavering, unless he is in fact back with his ex...

Continue living your life, and be friendly and polite to him. If he
really likes you too, and makes a move, he'll be glad to discover (at that point
and not earlier! ;)) that you like him too. Easier said than done, but you have
nothing to lose; try to remember a little mantra, eg ' friendly and confident', to
yourself, and just observe him and his actions towards you, till things are clearer.

I will - that's a great mantra and one I have used well recently I think! So I musn't let expectation or nerves betray my feelings for him... well I only have one more shift with him now too, so it may be a case of out of sight out of mind... as you alluded to with 51 - 24...

Hmm... answer in previous readings?
Well, weeks ago, before I was dissappointed when I was pretty sure he was back with his g/f (perhaps he actually is and it's just wishful thinking again that he isn't, and I have read too much into his continued friendliness..)

I asked What can I expect from him and I?
3.3, 6 > 37

Is there something real between us? (ie. deeper than physical..)
20.5, 6 > 2
(I suppose saying conduct yourself well and see how he reacts)

I suppose 3.3, 6 could be refferring to his difficulties with his current 'family' ie his girlfriend...
Thus perhaps I am just a temporary distraction from his relationship with her.. :(
Well, as always, I guess only time will tell..

Thanks,
:bows:
 
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em ching

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Hello, well I think I have closed myself off to a romance with him now.. but I don't think my answer cooberates this - or does it?

Today was my final day at work - in itself throwing up a sense of insecurity in the - oh no great unknown what do I do with myself now/ argh I am now leaking money sense! - which I need to consult the Yi about :)

Anyway - he was friendly as always, and for most of the day I thought perhaps there was a mutual spark but not sure - then at the end as I was leaving he said - in a platonic way - 'well i have your number to invite you to future work socials etc i.e meet for a drink with the group (ie not romantic). So that's that. I don't feel much mourning - I am more worried on the work front tbh - But I asked the Yi on e final question re. him:

Is the story with N over?

55 Abundance unchanging.

Oddly enough, this is the first ever reading I got when I asked about him (I was instantly attracted to him)

What does this say in relation to the question? That I want him too much and it isn't based on an inner affinity perhaps? I just don't know - I fancy him yes, but also feel more jovial/ heightened/ creative in my speech when I'm around him (albeit nervy) so think we get on personality wise too... But added to my doubts that he fancies me, is of course, that I'm still not sure if he has a girlfriend or not..

Help on this would be much appreciated.
Does 55 just say it's too intense for me, and perhaps not reciprocated?

So, because of the ambiguity here for me, bluntly ; Does he fancy me?
58.4 > 60

Hmm... I don't know eh... perhaps kind of but not fully or without a critical eye on me also...

Thanks
:bows:
 
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crystalline

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You got 55 at the beginning and you get 55 at the end... I think that's quite interesting!

Being in love is such a 'high', isn't it? The way you describe how he makes you feel when you are around him: jovial, creative. Nice. I think that 55 describes this period in which you were around him. Abundance. Be not sad. The 55 at the end reminds you that this was a passing thing and it has now passed. Well, at least that's how I see it.

I know that it was not much but, as they say, be glad that it happened, don't be sad that it's over.
 

em ching

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Thanks - oh well :rolleyes: Another one bites the dust eh...

I asked will he contact me? (like he said he would)
35.2, 4 Progress > 4 Youthful folly

Progress for me or him? Perhaps this is just saying to me, another lesson learnt - move on?

( I was then silly - haze of emotion I guess) but had a bit of an Aha answer: I asked Is it Ever going to happen? (I knew I shouldnt ask, and would probs get hex 4 again and lo and behold I received 4.2, 5 > 20 :))

Should I forget it?
63 After Completion

Yes? But then I have heard others say that this hex suggests there may be more to come in the saga? Or is it saying, you will be ok if you have self discipline and don't look back? (I received this for him before when I thought the idea had died but then it came back to life again.. groan... athough this time I won't be seeing him at work anymore..)

Case closed would you say now? I guess Abundance unchanging speaks of reaching a peak - and then not lamenting the decline... (hard to do though) :rolleyes:

:bows:
 

Trojina

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55 can mean its as good as its going to get, you've already had the best the situation is going to offer. Don't mourn that...as it says one doesn't mourn the fact that the sun goes lower in the sky after miday, inevitable.

I think 35.3 is about dealing with sadness, as in 55. 63 is a pretty clear answer to 'is it over' IMO yes.
 

em ching

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Ok thanks Trojan :)
You'd think I'd be used to this by now...

:bows:

(You mean 35.2, 4? Definitely seems that way: 35.2 'Progressing but in sorrow'..)
 

Trojina

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yes i meant 35.2 I didn't notice the 35.4 which generally shows someone acting in a somewhat underhand erratic way. If he said he'll contact you he might and it might be he has more interest in you than hes showing and is being very indirect about it (35.4) but you know I feel answers re relationship questions are very fluid so I'll shut up :D

You know in 55 theres no regret, the good thats been between you was good its not to be undermined in anyway, its just how that will go from here I don't know...my new years resolution is to stay well out of prediction mode here because in viewing your answer I'm not in a position to know absolutely. For me 63 unchanging can mean 'done finished, settled' but that can mean 'over' or it can mean 'its done' as in what you ask about is accomplished. For myself 63 unchanging is generally quite strongly 'this is done' and I'll know for myself in what sense the 'done' is..but i can't truly know that for you. Hmm disclaiming all over the place, but I'm just stressing your feeling about the answer and your sense of the answer is paramount
 
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ginnie

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It's hard not to ask

When I get 57.6, I know the Yi is telling me to stop asking questions. 57.6 means I'll only end up by exhausting or even confusing myself on this particular question if I don't give up thinking about it.

3.3 says that if you understood, you would stop, because "to go on brings humiliation."

55 means a lot of something, but of what? Could it be, as we say: "too much of a good thing"? 48 could mean it will take more people than just you to change this situation into the one you want to see. After all, it's a social situation.

Hexagram 60 means setting limits on things. To learn how to regulate ourselves is a tremendous accomplishment, especially in the area of love.

And, of course, hex 4 twice. You knew you were pestering the Yi. I have a suggestion: In a similar situation, it might help you to go back in your notes to the very first question and review all the questions on the same subject in your notebook before asking another question. It can be, and often is, that our question was already answered but we just have not absorbed the answer yet.

You know the Yi will always answer you, whenever you ask. At the risk of sounding silly, I have to ask, isn't that an amazing miracle of Love? :hug:
 

bamboo

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55 unchanging ...it's never been a good omen for more to come in my book. BUt , like Crystalline, I think it is interesting that you got it at the beginning when you were hugely attracted, and at this point, too. There seems to be a bit of a message there for you, maybe just because of what you have said. To be HUGELY attracted to someone is often not a very wonderful thing for a number of reasons: it really does tend to bring up the feelings of vulnerability and perhaps awkwardness, and sometimes it's a red light that this person is arousing some of the old sore spots, like family-of-origin stuff, old wounds....which are felt by an initial BANG of attraction.

I think when a new relationship has potential, the feeling is more gentle. A brand new feeling of some kind... interest, curiousity, comfort. Just my thoughts. Keep your eyes open for a new kind of connection....one where you dont necessarily feel all that oomph, but a nice kind of twinkle. You've worked hard on yourself this year, you deserve a good relationship where you can be supported and cherished.
 

Trojina

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I think when a new relationship has potential, the feeling is more gentle. A brand new feeling of some kind... interest, curiousity, comfort. Just my thoughts. Keep your eyes open for a new kind of connection....one where you dont necessarily feel all that oomph, but a nice kind of twinkle. You've worked hard on yourself this year, you deserve a good relationship where you can be supported and cherished.

I think your're right. Thinking of the times a new real relationship was starting there was a pervading sense of ease and gentleness around the whole thing, not in a dull way
but the sense of newness and interest wasn't overclouded by panic.

I've noticed with my infatuations, and its clearer of course as you get older cos you see the pattern, the intensity of emotions comes on very quickly and it seems clear to me, even though on one level I'm feeling all the torment, that it actually doesn't have alot to the man, he's just a convenient hook my psyches latched on to..and another will in time take that mantle too. But the relationships that have lasted in time weren't like that at all.. and they started with a 'nice kind of twinkle'
 

em ching

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I feel answers re relationship questions are very fluid so I'll shut up :D

You know in 55 theres no regret, the good thats been between you

For me 63 unchanging can mean 'done finished, settled' but that can mean 'over' or it can mean 'its done' as in what you ask about is accomplished. For myself 63 unchanging is generally quite strongly 'this is done' and I'll know for myself in what sense the 'done' is..but i can't truly know that for you. Hmm disclaiming all over the place, but I'm just stressing your feeling about the answer and your sense of the answer is paramount

Yes - fluid because everyday you will do or say something that affects interactions and thus how a person feels about you I guess.

Hmm.. on first impressions I'm always glad to see Abundance.. but of course, it must be representing something we are all, all too familiar with - Too much of a good thing!

Well as my Q was Should I forget it? 63 seems to be clearly saying yes - as it represents the completion of something, and stresses not looking back :) I have also finished at work with him now anyway, so will have no cause to see him...

Thanks very much.
:bows:
 
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em ching

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3.3 says that if you understood, you would stop, because "to go on brings humiliation."

Well exactly, if I knew back then that I'd just end up going through what I've just gone through ie raised hopes for nothing, then I would have stopped - but you can't accurately predict the future (only guess by the vibes - and I suppose I knew deep down that this was another guy throwing up too many doubts than was healthy) But it's all part of larning eh! :) So it's fine..

You know the Yi will always answer you, whenever you ask. At the risk of sounding silly, I have to ask, isn't that an amazing miracle of Love?

Yes - Yi Love :hug:

(I did worry asking too many q's on the same thing, and getting hex 4, then carrying on - imagine if the Yi stopped speaking back :S that'd be scary.)

Shh... Omm... :bows:
 

em ching

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I think when a new relationship has potential, the feeling is more gentle. A brand new feeling of some kind... interest, curiousity, comfort. Just my thoughts. Keep your eyes open for a new kind of connection....one where you dont necessarily feel all that oomph, but a nice kind of twinkle. You've worked hard on yourself this year, you deserve a good relationship where you can be supported and cherished.


Spot on - all the people I've felt a bang for have cme to nothing ultimately.. but I thought that was being in love, love at first sight, how the 'big' romance would start... i mean if it's lukewarm to begin with, wouldn't it just get colder... ahh... but I suppose then it has the chance to grow into a love for the person inside, rather than being based on externals (light bulb!)

It's true the only relationship I've had that came anywhere near a long term reltionship (8 months) started with a sense of warmth and comfort rather than big attraction... it didn't work though.. and I thought part of the reason for the breakdown that was because there wasn't the big attraction at the beginning.. but maybe it was simply because we weren't compatible down the line...
Hmm... I will pay greater heed to that kind of beginning then! And to acknowledge that if there's a panic, to expect that it just maybe isn't meant to be.. though don't they say the path to true love never runs smooth? Hmm.. Perhaps that's just in films (so that they are not dull) :)

Thanks all :hug:
 
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em ching

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Wow again - just to add to the synchronicity, meaningful chance, magic! here... I just had a fortune-cookie type chocolate with a chinese proverb inside:

Love is like the moon; unless it grows it wanes.

Hello Hexagam 55!

:)
 

bamboo

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"lukewarm" is not necessarily the "twinkle"...

another way to put it is what carolyn Myss has said: "the Spirits don't take a room at the Ritz" ...you don't need razzle-dazzle to recognize something truly worthwhile.

and in the spirit of the season, remember the significance of the Christ Spirit being born in a manger because there was No Room for it in the big Inns. There was a guiding star (twinkle) overhead and wise men recognized the child ( the beginning). Herod ( the ego mind) wanted to kill that child because he sensed it would be his undoing.

or as Barbra Streisand has sung:

"when it all comes true
Just the way you planned
It's funny, but the bells don't ring..
it's a quiet thing.
Happiness comes in on tiptoe...
well, whaddya know...?
..it's a quiet thing...."
 

em ching

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'Herod ( the ego mind) wanted to kill that child because he sensed it would be his undoing.'

Hmm.. do you mean that in the sense that we sometimes reject people who perhaps have real potential because it may go wrong down the line and thus bring pain along with it? That'd be the old fear of commitment thing... but then that old adage (think that means what I think it means though spelling probs wrong!) could also be an excuse - rather than saying you're not the one!

Hmm... well, I am a blank page now anyway for 2009, in the romance department, so we'll see if anything twinkles... but I am bearing in mind hex 25!

I asked a while ago - How will I recognise when someone is for me/ love?

25.1 > 12

I think that says it all:rolleyes:
 
D

diamanda

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the old fear of commitment thing... but then that old adage (think that means what I think it means though spelling probs wrong!) could also be an excuse - rather than saying you're not the one!

Yep i think you've nailed it there.

I asked a while ago - How will I recognise when someone is for me/ love?
25.1 > 12
I think that says it all:rolleyes:

When your heart does not contradict it - it does say it all, what a great answer.
 

bamboo

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'Herod ( the ego mind) wanted to kill that child because he sensed it would be his undoing.'

Hmm.. do you mean that in the sense that we sometimes reject people who perhaps have real potential because it may go wrong down the line and thus bring pain along with it? That'd be the old fear of commitment thing... but then that old adage (think that means what I think it means though spelling probs wrong!) could also be an excuse - rather than saying you're not the one!

Hmm... well, I am a blank page now anyway for 2009, in the romance department, so we'll see if anything twinkles... but I am bearing in mind hex 25!

I asked a while ago - How will I recognise when someone is for me/ love?

25.1 > 12

I think that says it all:rolleyes:

the siginificance about the Herod wanting to kill the child is even a little more profound.......true gifts and creative manifestations are not controlled by the ego mind, which is competitive by nature and really wants to be in control. It tends to try to sabotage things it is not in control of. Suspending your disbelief is a way of detaching from the ego, which is a useful tool, but not the Creative Mind. BTW, even Freud said that when choosing your mate or your life's career, it is essential not to use the logical mind, but an inner knowing.

anyway, 25.1 is perfect!
 

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