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Can we make it work? 28.6 > 44

Owlietta

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He said he wants me to move out. Not right away, it's just he doesn't think it's working. He wants to live alone.

I agree that it's been a real mess lately, and things have gotten out of control. But I feel like it's a temporary rough spot. He isn't dead set on anything. He said he's just "disappointed".

I want to cean up my act and get my life straightened out better, if not for any reason other than for myself. I hope we can work things out, but I need to work on improving my life, no matter what.

Hexagram 28.6, I interpret to mean that, it looks as though the relationship is still hopeful, but, the dreaded 44 makes me think it's for the best if I move on. Any ideas?

28. Ta Kuo / Preponderance of the Great

---- ----
---------- above Tui The Joyous, Lake
----------
----------
---------- below Sun The Gentle, Wind
---- ----

The Judgement
Preponderance of the Great.
The ridgepole sags to the breaking point.
It furthers one to have somewhere to go.
Success.

The Image
The lake rises above the trees:
The image of Preponderance of the Great.
Thus the superior man, when he stands alone,
Is unconcerned,
And if he has to renounce the world,
He is undaunted.

The Lines
Six at the top means:
One must go through the water.
It goes over one's head.
Misfortune. No blame.


44. Kou / Coming to Meet

----------
---------- above Ch'ien The Creative, Heaven
----------
----------
---------- below Sun The Gentle, Wind
---- ----

The Judgement
Coming to Meet. The maiden is powerful.
One should not marry such a maiden.

The Image
Under heaven, wind:
The image of Coming to Meet.
Thus does the prince act when disseminating his commands
And proclaiming them to the four quarters of heaven.
 

gnichi

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Dear Owlietta,
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Im sure you will get a more experienced reply from the senior members. Meanwhile. The relating hex 44, the context, makes me wonder if there might be another woman involved. Not that he is cheating, but maybe there is an interest, a flirt, a crush. Hex 28 pretty much says what you have described, you have reached some kind of breaking point. Line 28.6 I interpret as saying: Its not your fault, dont blame yourself for the relationship not working, or for him wanting to break up. The road ahead will be hard, but it will be for your greater good in the end.
Take care.
 

Owlietta

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Just a minute ago, I asked "Why is A. 'disappointed'?"

8. Pi / Holding Together [Union]

---- ----
---------- above K'an The Abysmal, Water
---- ----
---- ----
---- ---- below K'un The Receptive, Earth
---- ----

The Judgement
Holding Together brings good fortune.
Inquire of the oracle once again
Whether you possess sublimity, constancy, and perseverance;
Then there is no blame.
Those who are uncertain gradually join.
Whoever comes too late
Meets with misfortune.

The Image
On the earth is water:
The image of Holding Together.
Thus the kings of antiquity
Bestowed the different states as fiefs
And cultivated friendly relations
With the feudal lords.

The Lines
Six in the second place means:
Hold to him inwardly.
Perseverance brings good fortune.


29. K'an / The Abysmal (Water)

---- ----
---------- above K'an The Abysmal, Water
---- ----
---- ----
---------- below K'an The Abysmal, Water
---- ----

The Judgement
The Abysmal repeated.
If you are sincere, you have success in your heart,
And whatever you do succeeds.

The Image
Water flows on uninterruptedly and reaches its goal:
The image of the Abysmal repeated.
Thus the superior man walks in lasting virtue
And carries on the business of teaching.
 

Trojina

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Hexagram 28.6, I interpret to mean that, it looks as though the relationship is still hopeful, but, the dreaded 44 makes me think it's for the best if I move on. Any ideas?
It's hard to know what you find hopeful about 28.6. This is too much to cope with in some way, it's beyond you. When something is just too much you have to step beyond it.

Nonetheless I cannot say to you this means you cannot make it work, it just means it can get so difficult you cannot even think clearly about it anymore.


Rather than copy from the online tool which I think puts people off answering, well I find it distracting, can you just write the answer you got . What lines move in 8>29. Must be 8.2>29.

Doesn't A tell you why he is disappointed ? The key to successful relationships or so I heard is capacity to communicate. If he can't even tell you why he's disappointed then you aren't sharing in an intimate way.
8.2 does refer to intimacy, perhaps he would like more ?


Yi aside if he tells you he wants you to move out then I think it is in your interests to do so depending on the financial arrangements of who's place it is and so on.
 

Owlietta

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He told me last night. I got upset and sad and took a few minutes to just be by myself and calm down. I tried to talk to him but he said he was really tired and had to sleep. I definitely plan to talk to him today.
 

Trojina

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Oh dear, it is a sad situation and 28.6 shows one being overwhelmed with feelings so it's good you took some time for yourself.

8.2 is quite encouraging for really opening up to someone. It was not very kind of him to say he wants you to leave and then say he's too tired to talk about it. I wonder if he said that to just to affect you and he knows you won't just go. I wonder what he would do if you began packing !

What I mean is if he's serious surely he would sit down and have a proper talk with you about it, not just throw it out there and then go to sleep.
 

Owlietta

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He was hungover, I got home after being away at work for 4 days, and was dead tired and we both drank a little whisky when I came home. We went out for dinner and he told me, "maybe you want to move out" on the way home. I asked him if he was definetly decided; he said "nothing is written in stone". Then he tried to have sex with me but I wan't in the mood. He had his arm around me while we were getting to sleep but he didn't really give me much explanation.

I've been a total slob lately, I know. I left the place a mess when I left for work. Also when I am home from working really far away, I probably drink too much on my days off. I know this, and I want to get my act together for myself, as well. It's really hard to get much of anything productive done when I'm not sober. I would like to avoid alcohol completely for a while, and I know just that would be some kind of improvement, even if the whole relationship is doomed.

Rather than copy from the online tool which I think puts people off answering, well I find it distracting, can you just write the answer you got . What lines move in 8>29. Must be 8.2>29.
Not everyone who reads this forum has the i-ching memorized inside and out the way you do. :)
 

angelatlantis14

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Hi Owlietta,

sorry to hear about these relationship difficulties.
It seems to me that there are two different issues here, which may or may not be related to each other, the one being the lack of commitment from your partner, and the other being the areas in yourself you are trying to improve. it seems to me like you feel that if you "cleaned up your act" whichever that means in your case, then the releationship difficulties would go away. That may be so, but I think it is far from given! Both issues may be totally unrelated, your partner may have a completely different problem with your relationship than you think...

I think, with so much confusing statements from your partner, it is high time, that you both sit down and really talk - about why he may be disappointed, what bothers him about you, what bothers you about him etc. If he refuses to do that, I'd say he has probably already given up on the two of you :(

As for the original reading, I agree with Trojina - 28.6 is rather saying that you are caught up in developments you have no real control over. The changing hex 44 requires rather more interpretation in my mind - it can mean so many things! What came to my mind first is that this is warning to you - don't get too caught up in this situation (fitting with 28.6) - it will prove too much for you. Withdrawal might be the best advice for now...

Also, I sort of agree with Trojina that it is not necessary to post the whole I Ching text here - it can be looked up. What would interest me however is what your personal take on the reading is - what do YOU think about 8.2 --> 29 ? Does this remind you of something that happened between you?

In any case I wish you the best for clearing the situation up!

maui
 

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