Cause of Death 38>40

[becalm]

Hmmm I wonder what happened here?
It's a pretty long history with this woman (she married the man I loved at the time) and I didn't know she'd died but I'm suspecting it was at least within the last 5 - 10 years years. I last spoke with him in 2008.
What do I need to know about what caused her death......Hex 38.1.6>40
Was this suicide considering it was Opposing to Release?
Line 1 - She did hate me for sure...Her husband and I remained in contact even though he married her and she didn't like it at all even though I married someone I definitely loved very much.
Line 6 - She read things wrong - although we remained in contact it was her he loved and stayed committed to.

Kind of not really answering my question....

 

[marybluesky]

Hello becalm!

You've asked about what you "need" to know, and I think the I Ching says she's released from the world that made her feel like a stranger who met hateful people she couldn't trust;
or maybe you need to release yourself from alienation by meeting people you don't like (the old love?) and joining them to learn what happened.

 

[my_key]

What do I need to know about what caused her death......Hex 38.1.6>40

This I see as a specific question from you about your needs in relation to knowing what may be the cause of her death. A wider picture perspective, if you like.

While still holding onto the not knowing about her cause of death your needs will not be met. The way through to Loosening is via a path of 38 (The noble one both harmonises and separates.)’as it will release you from the tension that you still hold within around the life and death of this lady(40).

There was distance between the two of you, like you were walking in two different directions, and your thoughts and feelings around this relationship and her death have played on your mind (38). You have been living with these thoughts for a long time, now is the time to turn away.
What you could be being advised here is to make peace with these old ways of seeing things, the what ifs and maybes, and the hurts and slights that you still explore - you may not be able to forget but try to forgive a little (both you and her). There is no need to trouble yourself further with any hateful thoughts or recriminations either from her to you or you to her - see them all for what they were at the time. (38.1) Knowing the cause of her death or the roots of the hostility will not make things any easier for you now. It really is not about any of this anymore. (38.6)

You perhaps already have been thinking down these lines and finding your own sense of the long history between you both: sorting the wheat from the chaff and beginning to recognise a clearer, less troublesome, truth for you. Keep going in this direction, seperating and harmonising, harmonising and seperating.

......and it may mean nothing like this at all to you.

Good Luck

 

[Freedda]

Even long before the Yi, it seems we humans were wired so that one loss reminded us of other losses: So, the loss of a close friend might remind us of the loss of a sibling or parent, or ... the news of the death of our ex-lover's lover now reminds us of ...?

The question you asked is ... well, interesting. You didn't ask why this person died, but instead what you need know about how she died. And perhaps the Yi's response is something like, 'you don't need to know anything about how or why she died, but perhaps, instead, you might want to look at ....

So ... could the Yi's response be about your own mixed thoughts, feelings, and emotions, that have been brought up by news of this woman's death? What do you think or feel: does it feel like a suitor approaching you or an enemy drawing near? should you un-string or string your weapon? are you seeing a pig happily wallowing in mud or a wagon filled with corpses (38.6)?

The answer seems to suggest that if this were an ordinary situation for you, all would be fine, but here .... even with the resulting hexagram 40's suggestion that it would be best to have some sort of direction - it also asks: are you with or without a place to go? do you know which direction to take?

Hexagram 40 offers some suggestions for how you might deal with all this: the image text reads: 'The noble young one, accordingly, pardons transgressions / And is broad-minded regarding offenses.' So, maybe there is forgiveness being suggested here, instead of 'she must have committed suicide, she hated and misunderstood me.' But forgiveness towards whom? yourself, this woman, your ex? even an abusive parent? I think you might know best.

And 40's trigrams (the two, three-line figures that make up the hexagram) offer something as well: here we have thunder (upper trigram) rising, and the abyss/water (lower) moving downward, so there is a gap; perhaps a space has been created (by the news of this person's death) which you could fill with deliverance, liberation, relief, emancipation - all ideas associated with 40 (and of course, forgiveness). Or you also have the option to stay in a place of Estrangement (38) ....

The Yi always leaves us our free will about which tao / path we want to follow.

Best, D.

 

[Liselle]

The combination of your question + the fact that the moving lines are 1 and 6 makes me wonder if Yi gave you two widely-separated answers.

Wild guesses:

Line 1 - the "cause of death" part? - maybe you'll find out, eventually?

Line 6 - the "what do I need to know" part? - maybe that she realized before she died that you weren't an enemy?

Hexagram 40 has a lot to do with forgiveness (the Image).

Did you have anything to do with introducing them to each other?

 

[Trojina]

Hmmm I wonder what happened here?
It's a pretty long history with this woman (she married the man I loved at the time) and I didn't know she'd died but I'm suspecting it was at least within the last 5 - 10 years years. I last spoke with him in 2008.
What do I need to know about what caused her death......Hex 38.1.6>40
Was this suicide considering it was Opposing to Release?
Line 1 - She did hate me for sure...Her husband and I remained in contact even though he married her and she didn't like it at all even though I married someone I definitely loved very much.
Line 6 - She read things wrong - although we remained in contact it was her he loved and stayed committed to.

Kind of not really answering my question....

Am I right in thinking you were married to him, had kids with him , got divorced and then he married this woman and then basically you became a traveller without a home ? Did he and she also dabble in drugs a bit ?

If so there's a lot more to this might meet the eye. You see I think if he was your husband and you had his kids divorce doesn't mean a fat lot IMO your connection with him is still there regardless of what she does.

I won't ramble on because I may have it wrong but to me that does influence how I might see the answer.

I mean I don't as yet have any brilliant ideas about the answer except with lines 1 and 6 moving there I see the whole of the hexagram 38 moved through very quickly and 40 at the forefront of the answer.


What do you need to know about her death is a hard one to answer. You are asking what you need to know about what caused her death ? Do you think you are asking something else beneath that question ?


It always sounds to me, if I have it right, that you did pretty poorly out of this divorce, you were left with nothing and she took your place when you still loved him and now she's dead. That's pretty intense, if I had lived through that and heard she'd died I think I might be feeling all kinds of things. Let me known if I have facts right, you may be talking about another man entirely.


I think you also said it was very unhealthy, her relationship with him, that she was a bad influence, bad for his health because they used drugs together.

 

[becalm]

Thanks everyone I think maybe I still feel angry with him though I’m not sure why.
It’s true I didn’t like her but not because she married him and I didn’t but I just didn’t like her asa person although I know she detested me.
He and I had a ‘connection’ that wasn’t easily broken I guess but now he’s remarried and again haha I just don’t like her but now I’ve no interest in him myself and she doesn’t even know I exist.
@Trojina No this is not my exhusband He’s still with the woman he picked up with when we split up and according to my children it’s still as volatile as it was when it first started.
@Liselle We were in the same group of friends at the time they met and my bf was his best friend but he and I were just drawn to each other. It went something like. ...When I was single he was attached and when he was single I was attached.
I will find out eventually when I catch up with an old friend from that period of my life.