...life can be translucent

Menu

Choosing between my head and my gut (44.5 > 50 & 38.4.5 > 61)

fun_horse

visitor
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
20
Reaction score
6
I'm at a bit of a crossroads right now. I've just begun what should be "the next chapter" of my life. The education I have spent years working towards. But now that I'm here and starting it, at an intuitive gut level, it feels all wrong. Primarily the location-- it's not resonating with my values. Sure, the education itself that I'll receive here I'm still logically interested in. But the thought of having to live here for 3, 4, 5 years? In addition, the past 3 months or so have been rife with unforeseen obstacle after obstacle in even getting here, and they haven't stopped despite having had been a student for around a month now. It's hard to get a sense like I'll be able to be comfortable enough to actually get anything out of my studies if things keep going like this. Additionally, while this is hard to see around, there is the looming possibility of another Covid lockdown.

So while my gut is screaming at me to drop out while I still can, take the hit, move to the city where I know I feel energized and aligned and reconvene myself to find an alternate path with the additional knowledge I have now, my brain is telling me to stick it out. That I've worked hard to get here and followed through on my plans. I've already invested so much time. So why throw it all away now? Push through the difficulties like you have been! What's more, I feel foolish for having exerted all that effort to get here only to realize it didn't feel right and give up now, at the summit of my efforts.

I asked the oracle what would happen if I dropped out and moved to the city, and got 44.5 > 50, which I interpreted as both uncannily accurate to my situation and also deeply auspicious. In fact, I don't think I've ever received a more clear "DO THIS!" message before in any reading. A current inauspicious time or encounter, though I'm not sure who or what the strong woman could be in this case so I'm supposing it's the more symbolic encounter with this place I'm living in & realizing it's not a good fit. This changing to the cauldron, renewal and alchemical transformation in the sacrificial vessel. That resonates deeply, the reason I would be moving is to be in alignment with my own values and to re-assess a new path for my life.

I also asked what would happen if I stuck it out and stayed here until I graduated and got 38.4.5 > 61. Interesting that I am again being forewarned of a chance meeting, but most striking to me is "The Myriad Things / Are in Opposition / But their enterprise / Is still of the same kind". I'm being cautioned to work on small matters, that doing so will lead to a favorable outcome for those small matters. But also that, despite "the myriad things" not being in accord, being in disarray, they still have a union of momentum. I'm not entirely "off my path" at this moment? Changing to 61, this also seems very auspicious? Being an empty boat, crossing a great stream, acting with sincerity.

I guess I'm just perplexed because these both seem to be auspicious readings. I'd love some insight into this if anyone has any, I'm not quite sure how to pick apart my second reading. Thanks!
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
Hello,

I feel you very well as I've had this gut feeling of never fitting in a given situation while the logic & the others' opinions, mostly based on the same logic and values (success, maturity, responsibility, etc) wanted me to keep on. For me, such a beginning never led to a satisfactory end.

44.5 is a beautiful line. You'll receive blessing which isn't just seen now.

38.4.5 indicates a situation of loneliness & being alien where you find someone/ something to solace you. However there is still danger. You "bite through" the surface to find what's really there.

No reading is discouraging, but the first is more lovely.
 

fun_horse

visitor
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
20
Reaction score
6
Interesting that you mention that, many of my motivations for staying here are in fact based on those external motivators (ego driven, you could even say).

I suspect the danger 38.4.5 alludes to is the danger of the pandemic worsening in the fall, though that’s just speculation.

Thank you for your response!
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top