Confused!!

[pembs]

Hi All

My husband and I split up a year ago but still have strong feelings for one another. I relocated last year when the marriage broke down and now live a two and a half hour car trip away from him. He fell apart when we initially split last year but refused to talk to me for months (despite me trying to initiate conversation) as he said he was scared of me emotionally and had chosen 'self preservation'.

We had a reconciliation in Jan of this year but it lasted only 3 months - it is very complicated. We started up communication again in the summer but communication has now stopped as I gave him an ultimatum a couple of months ago by way of a letter which stated that we either divorce or discuss things. Communication ceased and I filed for divorce a couple of months ago. He is very angry but still refuses to communicate. I felt he had given me no choice as he refused to talk about it.

I consult the I Ching about our 'relationship' most days. I do realise that I ask the I Ching far too many questions and information now is very conflicting which is probably because I ask similar questions far too frequently.

My latest barrage of questions yesterday included lots of responses but one in particular has confused me due to what seems as conflicting information in terms of the changing lines:-

"How can I resolve his confusion?"
Hex 54, changing 3,4,6 = Hex 61

I am confused by Hex 54 as line 6 is very different to lines 3 and 4! I would be grateful for any ideas you may have!

Prior to filing for divorce, I had constant readings of Hex 2 with all lines changing. Last week I had Hex 39, line 3 changing and Hex 51, line 2 changing -both seem to indicate that "the situation will soon reverse itself" and "what I lost will return by itself".

This week however, I seem to be getting lots of negative hexagrams - lots of 47's, 54's, 38's - even line 6 of hexagram 21 which states 'a serious punishment!' I thought that perhaps I was being punished for asking too many similar questions as I received hexagram 4 twice yesterday straight after each other. I have received some positive hexagrams though - quite a few of 46.

My readings during the last year all seemed to make sense and were very connected up until now. My methods have not changed - I have always asked lots of questions most days about the state of play which all flowed and made complete sense but now I seem to be receiving very conflicting information!

Any ideas would be gratefully received!

Best Wishes
Claire

 

[Trojina]

Hi All



"How can I resolve his confusion?"
Hex 54, changing 3,4,6 = Hex 61

I am confused by Hex 54 as line 6 is very different to lines 3 and 4! I would be grateful for any ideas you may have!

Any ideas would be gratefully received!

Best Wishes
Claire

May I suggest you look at your question "How can i resolve his confusion ?". You can't. He has to resolve his own confusion. I think 54 shows that this situation isn't very much within your control, certainly it isn't in your power to resolve things for him. I think you need to accept this is beyond your control, what is in his mind and how he thinks is beyond your control. Perhaps if you accept this things may feel a little easier, not pleasant maybe but less of this . You can't manage him at the moment only yourself and tough though it may be you have to wait for his move. In a nutshell I feel if you stop trying to resolve his confusion things may improve. Your true intentions (61) will show through perhaps more clearly if you can stop trying to take control in a situation where you have limited control.

Thats how I see it anyway. BTW that may be the last thing you want to hear but it may account for all the other confusing answers you got -if you are really hooked on controlling this at the moment and it can't be done - could account for what you didn't want to hear in 21.6 maybe ?

 

[pembs]

Hi Trojan
Many, many thanks for your input. Your views certainly make a lot of sense.

As for 21.6, I did wonder if it was being suggested to me that Yi had had enough of all my constant questioning and had finally had enough!! I did ask it yesterday if I was questioning too much:-

"Am I asking you too many questions Yi?"

I got Hexagram 36, changing 1 and 2 which seems to relate more to my situation with my husband than to the I Ching. I can only guess that it is okay to ask so many questions if I still received input?

Thanks again Trojan!

Best WIshes
Claire

 

[jesed]

Hi pembs

Just in case the comment could be useful

To me, the key is

I consult the I Ching about our 'relationship' most days. I do realise that I ask the I Ching far too many questions and information now is very conflicting which is probably because I ask similar questions far too frequently.

The Yi is like a compass. It points where is the north and the south, but you are the one who decide if you want to travel to north or south.

If your compass is turning in wild circles, is because it has lost the magnetic north. If your compass has lost the magnetic north, you won't trust ANY information from it, until you fix it.

I would suggest stop asking to the Yi at least a couple of weeks. meanwhile, start one of two strategies (or both):
a) Examinate, not Yi's answers, but real-life signs. Get calm, do meditation and get in touch with your true feelings (fix your compass). Don't subordinate to the situation (54), but influence it from your inner reality (61)
b) If you REALY need Yi's advice (does anybody REALY NEED Yi's advice?), get a profesional reading. Give the reader the information only about your real concern, not about previous readings.

Best wishes

 

[pembs]

Thanks Jesed - I read your comments with real interest. Maybe that is why I have also been receiving Hex 43 so often which relates to Deciding!

Best Wishes
Claire