Crossroads Part II (Relationship)

[kestral]

Having made some significant progress in the work part of my life:
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/I_Ching_community/messages/92/2709.html?1097784748

I'm thinking about how I can turn my personal life around. There is someone that I really care about but as usual there are obstacles be it circumstances or other obstacles (ie. two "friends" one mine and one hers).

So I decided to ask the I-Ching if it's possible, what I could do to make this work out and the answer I received was Hexagram 50 with Line 1 moving resolving into Hexagram 14.

Hexagram 50 seems good but the moving line talks something about overturning the cauldron. Does the cauldron represent me and that I have to find a way to get rid of my baggage of the past? Or does that mean I should just forget about her and move on? And there's something about taking a concubine, does that confirm I should move on or is that symbolic of something I doubt understand? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Kestral
Here I think I would toss the I Ching
back on the shelf, buy this woman some dinner,
and empty all of your cards right there onto the table.
Explain you would like to start over, start off in a whole new direction. That's how I'd take 50.1>14 here.
I doubt this would change anything if you have real reason to hope. And if it doesn't go how you'd want it, you have all ths leftover stuff out of the way, and you can start to cook up something new.

 

[learner]

Dear Kestral

I go along with Bradford on that. I have made radical changes in my personal life recently and, believe me, I know what I am talking about.
It is an encouraging response if considered in its widest sense.

All the best,
Mirian

 

[learner]

Just to add.
As a woman, I pretty much like the "buy this woman some dinner" stuff.

 

[martin]

Funny, you want to turn your life around and the Yi presents you with an upside down caldron.

Brad's idea is excellent. Yes, buy this women some dinner!
Apart from that, I think that 50 also hints at the possibility of a wider perspective. Zooming in immediately on this or that, on a potential relationship with the woman you care about for instance, will that really turn your life around?

 

[bradford_h]

Dinner best cooked in a cauldron with handles of jade, of course.

 

[kestral]

Thanks everyone for the great advice - I guess the I-Ching is telling me to do the obvious and take the direct route instead of trying to get all fancy and play games (as I seem to want to do, as a way of coping with my own personal fears). Will keep you all updated.

 

[kestral]

Hey all, just an update on what happened. So I did go down to her work to see her again and I did end up asking her out to dinner. Unfortunately, she declined my offer, as she's started seeing someone. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Funny how the I-Ching could be so wrong though. Before I went, I asked the I-Ching how she felt about me and I got 14,2->30.

But it's funny, normally the "old me" would be looking for hope and thinking there's some way I could force the situation to go my way. But now I feel a strange sense of freedom and also of possibilities. Because right now every aspect of my life except for my personal life is finally together - I have a great paying job that I love, I'm finding ways to do music and I no longer feel any fear/apprehension about my relationship with my parents so what it means is that they no longer have anything to use against me so these days I feel like I'm in control of my life.

The only thing that I can't control is how someone else feels about me of course but I guess she's not the right one and maybe somewhere down the road I'll meet the right person, but for now I'm just going to count my blessings and just do what I do and trust that things happen for a reason and that when it's right it will happen.

 

[jte]

"but for now I'm just going to count my blessings and just do what I do and trust that things happen for a reason and that when it's right it will happen."

Why not try telling the Yi that and seeing what it says... Just a thought...

- Jefff

 

[demitramn]

Kestral<BLOCKQUOTE><HR SIZE=0><!-Quote-!><FONT SIZE=1>Quote:</FONT>

Funny how the I-Ching could be so wrong though. Before I went, I asked the I-Ching how she felt about me and I got 14,2->30.<!-/Quote-!><HR SIZE=0></BLOCKQUOTE> having read for many a person over the years (using tarot cards) and having had encountered this very same experience so many times, i have become convinced that there are times when our readings "push" us towards quicker resolution of our situation than at other times.

at first, i imagined that either i read the cards wrong or that readings themselves could be wrong, or even that something changed between the time of the reading and what actually happened, which according to the cards really should not have happened like that.

anyway, over time, what became clear to me was that each of these people had one thing in common. and that was that they were really ready to move on and didn't quite know it yet.

so the readings were not wrong, in fact, there was usually much truth to the message they were getting. however, there are times when even though the message seems to be saying "yeah, this is great, go for it!" its because we need to resolve this situation right now and move on.

this happens, more often than not, when we are 'aiming' in the right direction but still, out of habit, 'looking' in the wrong one. do you understand what i mean?

this happens because after having really worked through some fundamental issues in our lives, we are ready for new things to begin happening and, because of our inexperience regarding this new direction that our life is taking, we make wrong assumptions about who, what, where, when and why.

our newfound strength is greater than we realize at this time and our readings will help us discover this by leading us through a "shortcut" to a quicker resolution - one that you will easily and immediately understand and move on.

cutting to the chase and moving on, without the hassle of the details regarding the situation you are inquiring about (because it would be redundant and therefore inconsequential to your purposes since you have already "been there and done that") seems to be the underlying message.

hope this helps - best of luck in the new direction your life seems to be taking,
Demitra

 

[learner]

Dear Kestral

I understand your disappointment because sometimes Yi answers appear to be unbearably wrong. I am not in the position of saying that answers might be actually wrong. Perhaps the Yi has addressed the issue from a different perspective or has simply highlighted another aspect of the situation without giving any direct answer to the question at all. But, all the same, we make decisions on the assumption that the answer has been given to the specific question asked.
I have been consulting the Yi for years and still rely on its wisdom as a source of inspiration and guidance for my actions. But on several occasions I came across answers that led me to results far from the outcome suggested by the interpretation of the hexagram or the moving lines. Everyone could say that in fact I was not able to interpret the Yi correctly. But I had looked up on various different translations, authors and websites. I even got into the habit of asking a second question to confirm the previous interpretation and be sure about it before making any decision.

Anyway, I am not Yi expert. I have been using the Yi to help me to understand main issues like relationships or work. Sometimes I try to help others but only when I have some personal experience related to the hexagrams or lines. It is my way of being sure that what I offer as interpretation has been experienced before and that I have seen the result of it.

A couple of days ago I posed a question about a very important aspect of my life at the moment. In my view, the answer seemed unlikely to be correct. I decided to put the Yi aside and trust my heart. I did what I thought that I should do. And I have no regrets. So, everyone who seeks the Yi guidance has even the choice of ignoring the advice.

This reminds me of Hex 1 ? Creative- fourth moving line.

?Wavering flight over the depths. No blame.
Each one in this situation must make a free choice according to the inner law of his being.
If the individual acts consistently and is true to himself, he will find the way that is appropriate for him. This way is right for him and without blame.?


All the best,
Mirian

 

[martin]

Dear Kestral,

I agree with what Demitra and Mirian have said but I'm not so sure that the Yi was wrong.
After all, the cauldron was indeed overturned, even quite literally when she refused to dine with you!
And you write: " ... normally the "old me" would be looking for hope and thinking there's some way I could force the situation to go my way. But now I feel a strange sense of freedom and also of possibilities."
In my experience this is very much how 50 can feel. It is the 'wider perspective' that I mentioned in my earlier post.
14.2 to 30 in answer to your question about how she felt about you says perhaps that she values you a lot. However, that doesn't imply that she wants a love relationship with you.
Even if you had asked a more direct question ("does she want a love relationship with me?") 14 is not a clear yes, I think. 14 is more about being alone and feeling like a king or a queen in that state of aloneness. At least that's how I see it.
It looks like you feel a mix of 50 and 14 now, in accordance with the first answer 50 to 14. And 14 returns in the second answer.

Anyway, I'm glad that you found a new freedom and wish you all the best.

 

[bradford_h]

Kestral-

If you reread my original interpretation on this, you'll recall this is how I ended it:

"And if it doesn't go how you'd want it, you have all the leftover stuff out of the way, and you can start to cook up something new."

I don't see how that was wrong

 

[bradford_h]

Hi Kestral-
Back again. Since this is one of those fine occasions where someone actually revisits the question, I think it merits some attention

Let's go back to your original question, quote:

"I'm thinking about how I can turn my personal life around. There is someone that I really care about but as usual there are obstacles be it circumstances or other obstacles (ie. two "friends" one mine and one hers)."

[note turn around and response of turn over]

"So I decided to ask the I-Ching if it's possible, what I could do to make this work out and the answer I received was Hexagram 50 with Line 1 moving resolving into Hexagram 14. "

Note "What could I do to make this work out"

You didn't ask what is going to happen, but for advice on what to do.

Reply: put it out there, dump it out there, get it over with.
If you leave this stuff inside it will just turn to Gu, fester, breed worms and reptiles of the mind.
So what you did was find out, you don't need to spend time wondering what might have been. That should be liberating.
Then back to your question- it looks like there was nothing more you could have done.