decay of friendship: 23.2 to 4

[deepstillwater]

Hello,

I had a very good friend, an old workmate who lives in another city, and there have been a number of surprising and testing interactions with him over the last couple of weeks.
I really felt quite a cool response from him when I contacted him recently to show my support for him during a work dispute, and I was quite hurt by that.

In particular, he seems to have a problem with my partner of many years and he has started to pick fights via long-winded posts on my partner's Facebook status updates.

It is a horrible feeling to think that your friendship with someone is ending because they don't like the politics, or some random other thing, of your partner.

I think the friendship is crumbling, although not through any fault of mine. I've always tried to keep in contact and I've often visited him.

Anyway I asked the I Ching: How should I behave towards X? 23.2 to 4

This is what I thought, the friendship is being reduced (and possibly because of foolish reasons hence 4).

The changing line 2 is confusing though - should I act about this? Would not saying something to X about this be a mistake? Or is it my friend who is the foot of the bed that is incorrect?

Thanks for your help

 

[yxeli]

Hi,

I wonder if this relationship has become needlessly complicated. Do you connect with this friend very directly? not in the sense about 'big' heart wrenching, life changing issues, but in the sense of 'did you see that film in the cinema? its absolutely rubbish!' type talk?

I think this is about pairing down your expression, the way you communicate with this man. Maybe its the opposite of what ive written above, maybe theres far too much 'small talk' happening, and your not really getting to the substance?

One translation of the fan yao 4.2 is 'open to the feeling of expression, ignorance soon become experience' (http://www.biroco.com/yijing/Language_of_the_Lines.pdf)

so in 4 your asking around, trying to figure it out. You have to allow for mistakes, yours and his, cos you dont really understand the situation. So be gentle, let him/you say the wrong thing, but dont berate him/yourself too much for not understanding. Its better to ask a stupid question then never open your mouth and express whats really going on in your head afterall. Maybe this is where the 'evil' is, the evil is in not knowing, being scared to ask, in case you bring up some huge argument you hadnt planned for. But in the long run, a good argument between friends can be extremely informative. You strip away all the crap that you both presumed in your ignorance (4) was correct.

I think the Yi is telling you to call him up, invite him for a drink, and start 'stripping away' (23) the problem. Your in a position of not knowing (4) the full breath of whatever it is thats chapping your friends ass. So be light hearted at first, dont just meet with him and start psycho analysing him straight away. You need to connect with him simply first of all, and maintain that style of communication. little honest words, not big ideas, make lasting connections between people. and its about the 'maintenance' of a pattern here, a direction of showing him the little truthfull things while talking, not giant 'political' ideas. Make light quips, connect more simply. Then I think maybe your friend will just offer you whats really going on here.

I think this is the classic 'men burying their feelings' type line. Say whats on your mind, say what you feel. It definitely is about action though, so do talk to him about this.


Hope this helps.


Yx

 

[dragona]

Hello, it seems to me that you are the one who cares more for your friend then he does for your friendship.
Comments or disputes with your partner are between the two of them and that should be cleared in the same way. Yet, your friend must know that problems two of them are having, are disturbing friendship with you.
So, as the hex 23 states that Po indicates that (in the state which it symbolises) it will not be advantageous to make a movement in any direction whatever, because it already went from bad to worse for you from injuring the basics of friendship and now its adding up (when one breaks the frame, the contents fall apart, as I see it)
2. The second SIX, divided, shows one overthrowing the couch by injuring its frame. (The injury will go on to) the destruction of (all) firm correctness, and there will be evil. Legge

Your friend should get out of the bad place he is in now, and mend his ways. Perhaps your partner could mention to him that he wants to stop the dispute as they are upsetting you.
Best of luck. d.

 

[long yi]

2 cent worth comments

Hexagram 23: Take no action whatsoever. You have reached a point of parting.
Long Yi's advice: when asked, just claim you are busy with other things....

Line 23.2 You try to advance in a hopelss situation by consulting the oracle. You should choose to avoid the threat. You are about to loss balance and fall. It is not worth it.

Hexagam 4: Innoccent and heartly sophiscated. Decide whether you are happy without this friend or try to find mutual happiness by shifting topics when you discuss things.

Your six line
出生时间：年　性别：女　起卦方式：直接指定
起卦时间：2012年06月26日01时39分

神煞：天乙—丑未　福星—申　日禄—巳　羊刃—午　驿马—申　桃花—卯　华盖—戌
干支：壬辰年　丙午月　戊午日　癸丑时
旬空：午未　　寅卯　　子丑　　寅卯


六神　 伏神 　　　乾宫：山地剥　　　　　　　　　　离宫：山水蒙
　　　　　　　　　【本　卦】　　　　　　　　　　　【变　卦】
朱雀　　　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财丙寅木　　　　　▅▅▅▅▅　妻财丙寅木　　
青龙　兄弟壬申金　▅▅　▅▅　子孙丙子水　世　　　▅▅　▅▅　子孙丙子水　　
玄武　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母丙戌土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母丙戌土　世
白虎　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　妻财乙卯木　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼戊午火　　
滕蛇　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　官鬼乙巳火　应×→　▅▅▅▅▅　父母戊辰土　　
勾陈　　　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　父母乙未土　　　　　▅▅　▅▅　妻财戊寅木　应

line 5 = you. You are not happy because this situation affects your partner (line 5 appears under the day of reading). It creates a conflicting relationship.

line 2 = him. He is moving on to find either a job or new relationship. He is coming on strong (fire in line 2 , also fire on the month of the reading), but he is getting nowhere because the change line is buried into the grave. He will emerge, but not soon.

You are an outsider. The inner hexagram (line 3 = female, line 2 = man, line 1 = job or marriage). Line 3 wood produces line 2 fire and then produces line 1 earth. He is self-sufficient and does not need you. There is a picture of a woman + a man + a house or job.

On the other hand, you are water and he is fire in this hexagram 23, balance cannot be easily found. He walked away because fire is strong and want no further dispute.

Line 4 is earth which conflicts with the year of the dragon in a mild manner. No harm done to anyone.

Line 5 has your friend in the hidden line (metal). Metal produces water, but since this is a hidden line.
伏去生飞为泄气，泄气为耗损之象
By theory, he is the metal and does not want to dicuss anything with you, this is a waste of his energy. Since metal is weak in the summer, he has decided to put his energy into something else. That energy merge with line 2 to go back and mind his own business.

From the month of the reading, line 1 and 6 appears in hexagram 4 with the same woman and that appears in the month of the reading. I caution the querent to mind her own business if she is a female. The siutation gives her conflict and also headache in her relationship with the partner.

Within the hexagram 4, line 3/5 are in mild conflict, no one want a fight. Line 3 and 5 are in stronger conflict: job or two family's conflict.

In plum flower iching analysis, the upper trigram is the earth mountain and the lower trigram is river water. Mountain above water. The mountain has no effect (you). The water flows. The upper trigram suppresses the lower trigram. You try to suppress others in their way of doing ways. This means you can see and talk to him, but he does not want ot see you and talk to you for now. He needs time to himself. He will return sometime (may be next April) when he is ready.

If the querent is a female or even male, please be cautious with money in the next few months. There is not enough $$$ in the bucket and perhaps you do not know enough about investment and how to use money to make money. You may find your funds trapped in the month of November 6- Dec 5 2012 (disclaimer: just a guess) and the investment may not regain value until after Feb 5 2013. Analyze your wealth and investment in the month of August (just a guess also).