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Deliverance & Return about a relationship

M

mirian

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I need some help to interpret two hexagrams related to the relationship with my boyfriend. I have just started the relationship and due to failures & wrong decisions in my past love life I am still insecure whether or not I am making the right choice.

So, I asked:

1.What will I achieve if I continue to pursue the relationship with him?

Hex 40 (Deliverance) 6th line
"The prince shoots at a hawk on a high wall.
He kills it. Everything serves to further."

Who is "the hawk"? My boyfriend? Should I stop seeing him?

2.Is he the right person for me? (I know I should avoid yes/no questions but could not find any other way of formatting this one)

Hex 24 (Return) 1st, 2nd and 5th changing lines

"Return from a short distance.
No need for remorse."

"Quiet return. Good fortune."

"Noblehearted return. No remorse.
When the time for return has come, a man should not take shelter in trivial
excuses, but should look within and examine himself. And if he has done
something wrong he should make a noblehearted resolve to confess his fault."

Well, this one has thrown me completely. I am looking forward to your responses.

Mirian
 

willowfox

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1.What will I achieve if I continue to pursue the relationship with him?

Hex 40 (Deliverance) 6th line

You will achieve your desire, you will be rewarded with success. So, it looks like you will get a positive result here.

2.Is he the right person for me?

Hex 24 (Return) 1st, 2nd and 5th,

It would strongly suggest that he is the right person, you just have to take a chance here and then you should be successful. You must realize that any relationship can be difficult at times but as long as you keep this in mind then all should be well.
 

mudpie

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My first thoughts are that these readings seem very positive. 40.6 is what I call the bullseye line. No doubt, it would further you to go ahead, because you have found what it seems you may have been looking for. It changes to 64, I believe, and I suppose that means what it means. You are just starting to cross the river.

I wonder about the second question though...I know you had hesitation about it. Is there such a thing as the "right" person? Better said , this may be the right opportunity. It seems to me like 24 is advising on the past and although you say you had failures and "wrong decisions" perhaps that is not so true as you may think. It might be that you will be faced with similar issues ( as we often are ) but that this will be the right opportunity to go forward with these and explore them with this new person. This changes to 29 which can be a hex that advises you to expect this to be an adventure, and maybe a frightening one. BUt a truly good relationship IS scary, and IS an opportunity to move into the unknown , to let yourself go into the *dangerous* waters. Like WF says, any relationship can ( most likely will) have difficulties. BUt it seems like this is your time.
 
M

mirian

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Thank you both. These readings are particularly important to me. I do have relationship issues, which stem from my family background, and it is about time I dealt with them. I feel somehow strengthened by my readings that you have clarified. I agree Listener, there is no such a thing as the "right" person. That was actually only me being hesitant and afraid of getting involved with the "wrong" person again. Strange as it may seem, I would have very likely broken this relationship if the Yi had told me to do so. But now I am ready to take this new opportunity and try to give my love life a better outcome.

Mirian:bows:
 

rosada

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Just wanting to add some thoughts about 40.6

Hexagram 40 is about forgiveness. In order to have a successful relationship with this man there is a need to recognize your past unsuccessful relationships were not caused by you being victimized by bad men, but were a result of your own bad choices. When you realize you are the one who determines what happens in your life you can easily forgive the past and 40.6, eliminate all need to ever repeat that pattern again. 40.6 leads ot 41: "Decrease. The superior man controls his anger and restrains his instincts." Thus once you have realized your past bad relationships were equally your doing, you will become more aware of how you do sabotage yourself and can now control this. So this is very positive, but it doesn't promise a clear path. You will still have your own self defeating impulses but at least now you can recognize them and hopefully control them.
24 seems to discribe how you can deal with these self-defeating impulses that undermined your former relationships. 24.1 Quickly bring up issues that need to be discussed and resolved. 24.2 Recognize when your partner is right. 24.5 If you are at fault, apologize. If you follow this advice there is every reason to assume this relationship will not be a repeat of the past.

Best wishes on this new adventure!
 
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M

mirian

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Hello Rosada,

This takes me back to square one:eek: because my biggest fear is to make the wrong choices/decisions again, which might be happening just right now. That is the reason why I asked the Yi advice in the first place. All that I wanted was to make sure, at least with a reasonable degree of certainty, that I will not be plunged again into similar situations. Not only do I want to forgive myself, I want to make it right from now on.

So, I have just posed another question to the Yi about this particular relationship and got the same hexagram & moving line!

Question: How is my relationship with him going to develop from now on?

Hex 40 (Deliverance) 6th line.

Any thougths, please?
Mirian
 
M

mirian

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Trying to get further insight I asked:

What will my life be like if I continue this relationship with him?

Hex 42 (Increase) 2nd & 5th moving lines

Your interpretations will be very much appreciated; I just don't want to jump into any conclusion.:eek:

Mirian
 

rosada

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Oops, sorry about that!:rofl:

I'll leave it to someone else to tackle your latest questions. Meanwhile I think you may have missed my point. I'm saying the I Ching is telling you the issue here is not "Is he the right one?" but rather that you need to examine what you have done to create poor relationships in the past and resolve not to continue in those behaviors (40.6). And the I Ching gives you some tips on how to now proceed: discuss issues early, recognize where he is right, apologize where you are wrong (24.1.2.5). So the I Ching is not promising this is the "right" man, but telling you how to build a good relationship. If you are still thinking you can find Mr. Right, then yes, you are back at square one because you haven't understood there is no Mr. Right. But if you can recognize what you do that derails your potentials and prevent that behavior, then it seems the I Ching is encouraging you this new friendship has as good a chance as any.
 
M

mirian

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Dear Rosada,

No problem, thanks for your thoughts anyway:bows:

Just to clarify: my question was not if he is Mr Right -and it would have NEVER been. My question was -and still IS- if I am making the right choice and/or decision. If the Yi responded my question giving me advice on how to build good relationships and asking me to examine my past love life then I am afraid that my question has not been responded at all.

Well, this could lead to a long discussion whether or not sometimes the Yi does not give a straight answer to the question but rather draws the attention to other aspects involving the issue.

Anyway, I am at a point that I have to make a decision about the relationship, which actually is already in progress. And THIS is what I am trying to get insight from the Yi.:brickwall:


Mirian
 

Trojina

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Hello Rosada,

This takes me back to square one:eek: because my biggest fear is to make the wrong choices/decisions again, which might be happening just right now. That is the reason why I asked the Yi advice in the first place. All that I wanted was to make sure, at least with a reasonable degree of certainty, that I will not be plunged again into similar situations. Not only do I want to forgive myself, I want to make it right from now on.

So, I have just posed another question to the Yi about this particular relationship and got the same hexagram & moving line!

Question: How is my relationship with him going to develop from now on?

Hex 40 (Deliverance) 6th line.

Any thougths, please?
Mirian
I've got a bit lost with this thread...but my thoughts are firstly I'm not sure i whole heartedly believe in wrong choices as such. Sure in retrospect some look like a bad idea but we only know that in hindsight and we aren't perfect and nor is the world so I don't think we can ever entirely avoid what turn out to be less than desirable outcomes for our choices. I really don't believe we can ever wholly guard ourselves against anything whatever we choose. Apart from that I think you need to be clear about what you wanted the Yi to answer to this question, deep down. Half of the time the Yi doesn't answer the question i asked word for word but the question i was really asking underneath it. So how you felt about the question is essential to how you understand this answer. The way i see it is whatever is causing you tension and stress right now you will be released from. Now I don't know if the thought of the relationship developing is causing you tension, or the thought of it ending causes you tension - whichever you don't want that is what the tension release is from - The answer lies within you. What is making you feel nervous and tense and oppressed right now ? Isolate what thought or feeling or expectation that is . Whatever that thing is it will be dispensed with.
 
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mudpie

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Dear Rosada,

If the Yi responded my question giving me advice on how to build good relationships and asking me to examine my past love life then I am afraid that my question has not been responded at all.

Well, this could lead to a long discussion whether or not sometimes the Yi does not give a straight answer to the question but rather draws the attention to other aspects involving the issue.



Mirian
I disagree...I think your question was responded to and I think the response IMPLIES you ARE returning to past issues, but the lines are favorable.

Even if the relationship does not mimic the past, your whole state of mind is about this : IS this guy a good choice (based on my past mistakes which I dont want to repeat)? So the past is ALREADY a part of your question.

Like Trojan, I am curious.......what is it about this relationship that would make you ready to chuck it if the Yi suggested that? Do you have some kind of a gut feeling that this is not right?

Surely you must know that the I Ching cannot safely predict the outcome of any relationship..and 40.6 becoming 64 is also a reminder that all the cards have not been dealt. I think the biggest question is for you......are you ready, do you feel secure enough to take on a relationship and to return to the arena of love? In my opinion, the I ching feels you are in a good position.

and twice it has said that what you are "aiming at" is what you have in front of you. you are one with the target. Just musing , if you are so afraid of your own mistakes, and so afraid of what happened, could it be that which you are targeting? 42.1.5 takes you to 23
 
M

mirian

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Trojan&Listener,

You have both shed so much light on my questions!:bows: I might have been a little bit harsh on myself because the wrong choices that I made in the past and by reading your posts I have to admit that is rather difficult to control or/and predict the outcome of our decisions beforehand.

That said… Trojan, it took me a while to figure out the question that I was really asking underneath. It is basically a trust issue: “Will the relationship end up in suffering and disappointment, as the previous ones?” and/or “Will this person reveal himself as unreliable/uncaring/tough as the previous ones?” That is the strain that I need to be released from and Hex 40.6 is apparently addressing it.

Listener, you want to know what sends chills down my spine…. He has been married&separated; has had quite a few relationships and I might NOT be important in his life at all, regardless of what he says. On top of that, it is again a relationship with me being in HIS country, with all its implications. Anyway, I feel like now I suffer from a sort of "change of fate syndrome" :eek: when all of a sudden people/things change for the worse and I fall flat on my face. It seems that now this is all that I expect to happen in a relationship.:brickwall:

Mirian
 

ann

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Mirian, I'd say that YI is speaking very plainly - seems to me that you are making the right decision about him, but you are being cautioned/advised that you need to look at where things have gone awry in past and correct anything that is yours to correct - so the things that Rosada said about the 3 changing lines. Yi is quite a firm taskmaster I find, but never unfair.

Hope all goes well!:):hug:
 
M

mirian

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Thanks Ann, I am still reflecting on all your posts. And regardless of my doubts and fears the relationship continues to develop.;)

Cheers:bows:

Mirian
 

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